


Pandorica

by paroxysmalirony



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bucket List, Crack, Depression, Divorce, M/M, Marijuana, Mild Language, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Summer, Surprise Pairing, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-14 04:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11775543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paroxysmalirony/pseuds/paroxysmalirony
Summary: “Huh,” Mark huffs, pursing his lips. “What can I do to change your mind?”“Kiss me again,” Donghyuck says, leaning down again. “Consider it your makeup test.”





	1. The Pilot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Enrara readers,
> 
> Welcome to the product of my 3-month long labour!
> 
> I'm just kidding.
> 
> Working on this story has been quite the experience, so I'm glad to finally be able to share it with you all!
> 
> There are, however, a few things that I need you all to be aware of.
> 
> In case you're someone like me who often skips reading the 'Additional Tags' section of most of the works I read, please note that this is not going to be an easy story to read.
> 
> **There will be frequent, casual mentions of Depression, Suicide Ideation, and Anxiety, amongst other difficult topics throughout this piece. ******
> 
> If these are topics that you find triggering/difficult to read, I highly recommend you think of yourself first! At the end of the day, your wellbeing should be more important than this fic.
> 
> I have also added additional warning to certain chapters just in case.
> 
> Enjoy!

“What's this?”

Donghyuck ignores the look of borderline disgust mixed with confusion that paints the curves of Jeno’s angular face as he glances down at the crumpled sheet of paper poorly smoothed onto the surface of his desk. Instead, he walks deeper into the confines of Jeno’s oversized bedroom and promptly throws himself onto his queen sized bed, twirling mid air in order to land on his back.

He sinks into the mattress almost immediately with a satisfactory sigh.

“Read the title, maybe,” Donghyuck offers, his voice dripping with admittedly unwarranted sarcasm as he picks at his unkempt nails. They're getting long. Too long, even. He’s counted up to ten scars on his body resulting from having accidentally scratched himself too hard. He knows it’s gross, but, truthfully, he can’t bring himself to care enough to actually do something about the state of his nails and their ventures into claw-like territory.

At this, Jeno looks up from said page, his eyes narrowing on Donghyuck’s lounging figure, and kisses his teeth.

“Your sarcasm isn't appreciated,” Jeno lets out with a huff. The way he speaks reminds Donghyuck all too much of Jungwoo and the way he’d constantly tut at the two of them back in the day.

“And neither is your stalling,” Donghyuck retorts, rolling his eyes, his patience wearing thin. “Just read it,” Donghyuck adds with a groan, rolling over onto his stomach. The mattress creaks beneath his shifting body. He looks up at Jeno. The look on his best friend’s face is enough to compel him to tack on a half-hearted, “ _Please?_ ”

Jeno glares at him, forehead creasing in the space where his bushy eyebrows meet.

If looks could kill, Donghyuck thinks, he’d most definitely be nothing more than a corpse taking up all the space on Jeno’s too big bed.

But then again, Jeno is fickle, even more than Donghyuck himself has the potential of being. Donghyuck can see his best friend's resolve vanish into thin air as the older boy purses his lips and lets his gaze fall onto the slip of lined paper, finally reading.

“ _Hyuck Lee’s Bucket List_ _?_ ” Jeno frowns again, only this time, he lets out a confused chuckle as he brings the page closer to his face. “I didn’t think people _actually_ made these….”

“Not everyone is as boring as you, Jeno,” Donghyuck shrugs, picking at a stray thread that sticks out of Jeno’s deep blue duvet.

Donghyuck still doesn’t understand why Jeno’s mother insists on buying him fine materials like silk to cover his bed when it’s going to be littered with Cheeto dust in a week tops.

“Fair enough,” Jeno decides, eyes still scanning the page’s contents. “Why, though?”

Donghyuck pauses, fingers hovering over the fabric of Jeno’s comforter as its owner looks to him expectantly.

For a sliver of a moment, Donghyuck considers telling Jeno the truth; that the idea of piecing together a bucket list had come to him in a moment of weakness, a moment brought onto him by something that, thanks to hours upon hours of research, he's come to know as passive suicide ideation.

In short, Donghyuck has lost his will to live, but not enough to do anything about it quite yet.

And his bucket list is a contingency plan that he’s put in place for the time being. A ‘just in case I end up killing myself by the end of the summer break’ sort of thing.

In the end, Donghyuck decides that the truth is out of question.

“Why _not?_ ” he counters instead, raising a brow.

Deflection at its finest.

“I guess…” Jeno mutters, tilting his head to the side. He adjusts his glasses. “Steal from Zumiez, go bald, make out with an astronaut,” he reads aloud before cutting himself off with a snort. “Dude, what the fuck kind of goals are these?”

“The kind of goals you come up with while on two and a half edibles,” Donghyuck reveals uneasily, scratching the back of his head. “Jaemin came up with them.”

As hazy as the memory is, it's not exactly a lie. Jaemin _had_ been the one to suggest most of the goals that appear on Donghyuck's bucket list.

Understanding dawns on Jeno's face at the mention of Jaemin.

“Well, no wonder these suck,” Jeno hisses, clicking his tongue as he reaches for his Star Wars themed pencil case (“What a fuckin nerd, eh?” “You literally _still_ sleep in Doctor Who themed PJs, asshole!”). Donghyuck watches him unzip it and pull out a fancy red pen. “I hope you don't mind, but I'm editing this shit.”

“Fine by me,” Donghyuck shrugs, shifting his position once more in order to lie facing the ceiling as Jeno scribbles away.

He lets his mind wander to the sounds of pen scratching on paper at irregular intervals as Jeno works through The List as thoroughly and as diligently as he can.

He is Jeno Lee after all; the biggest nerd Donghyuck knows.

After Donghyuck himself, of course.

He'd miss him, Donghyuck thinks, Jeno and the easy back and forth they share. He wonders if Jeno would feel the same way if he knew Donghyuck’s true intentions behind making the list he holds in his hands.

But it’s too scary of a thought to think of so Donghyuck quickly shoves it to the deepest darkest part of his brain and hopes it never resurfaces.

Not now, at least.

“Alright,” Jeno exclaims after a minute or so has passed. He spins in his chair to face Donghyuck. “I'm done.”

Donghyuck glances over at his friend before straightening. “That was quick,” he says, scooting forward until his feet come in contact with Jeno’s heated hardwood floor.

“I try,” Jeno smirks, making space for Donghyuck behind the desk. “I basically went over everything and narrowed it down to your more realistic options,” he explains, twirling the red pen in his hand a few times. Donghyuck raises a brow, to which Jeno adds, stilling his fingers, “Come on… You’re broke and can’t afford to do most of these things.”

Donghyuck wrinkles his nose, remembering that he is, indeed, broke and unemployed. “Rude,” he says pointedly. “But go on.”

Jeno chuckles, sliding the page closer to the edge of the glass desk. “Take a look.”

Donghyuck shrugs and comes closer, squinting slightly in order to see the changes Jeno had made.

“Hand me a pen, will you?” Donghyuck requests almost immediately, holding his hand out.

“Why,” Jeno questions, looking down at Donghyuck’s outstretched hand for a few seconds. When Donghyuck only waggles his fingers in response, urging him to fulfil his demands, Jeno rolls his eyes and finally complies. He rummages through his childish pencil case before slapping a mechanical black pen into Donghyuck’s hand.

“I’m editing your edits,” Donghyuck finally says, shoving Jeno’s chair away. It rolls away, increasing the distance between the two of them by a few centimetre before coming to a full stop, courtesy of Jeno’s socked foot.

Jeno blinks. “Uh-”

“Don’t worry,” Donghyuck reassures him, cutting in before he can say anything more. “I got this.”

Jeno doesn’t protest. Instead, he rolls his chair towards the desk and watches in silence as Donghyuck makes his own corrections to the page.

In no time, Donghyuck slides the page in Jeno’s direction.

“Much better,” he says with a proud smile, at which Jeno scoffs. Donghyuck pouts. “What?”

Jeno shakes his head, clicking his pen once for good measure, before bringing the tip back down to the page.

He scribbles quickly, scratching his responses to Donghyuck’s comments. Once he’s finished, he proudly slides it back towards Donghyuck.

“ _Enough_ ,” Donghyuck grunts, slapping the pen out of Jeno’s hand. It falls to the floor and rolls beneath the desk. Neither of the boys make an effort to reach for it. “You’re no fun.”

“I’m advising you to play it safe, kid,” Jeno relays, patting Donghyuck’s shoulder twice before letting his hand fall into his lap. “Especially if you expect me to tag along,” Jeno adds. He’s not exactly wrong. Donghyuck _would_ be relying on Jeno and his functioning car for the most part. “Plus, you can still have fun with the options I didn’t scratch out! You know, when school’s out for the summer.”

“Realistic, my ass,” Donghyuck snorts, pointing his finger at option number eleven _Make out with an astronaut_. Donghyuck hadn’t expected for it make the final cut. “I thought you said you’d narrow them down to doable options.”

“I did!”

“But…” Donghyuck falters, gesturing wildly. “We don’t know any astronauts.”

“Mark Lee’s mom is an astronaut,” Jeno says matter of factly, looking at Donghyuck as though it’s the most obvious thing in the universe.

Donghyuck’s eyes widen, taken aback.

“You want me to make out with his _mom_ ?” he just about _shrieks_ , the sound resonating throughout the spacious room.

“Dude, no!” Jeno says quickly, correcting himself. Donghyuck’s shoulders droop in relief. “I meant make out with _him_ , I swear! He’s a safer, unmarried, and age appropriate alternative.”

“I guess…” Donghyuck says, nodding slowly. He still doesn’t know how he feels about all of it. He and Mark Lee aren't exactly close friends. Donghyuck isn’t sure how eager the elder would be to help him complete his bucket list. But he _is_ a nice guy. _And_ he's kind of hot. But only a little. So it wouldn’t be _too_ bad. “And he’s rich too,” Donghyuck says eventually, his eyes lighting up at the revelation.

Jeno snorts, eyeing him curiously. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing…” Donghyuck lies, shaking his head.

“Right...” Jeno drawls, totally unconvinced.

“So…” Donghyuck says after a brief moment of silence, hands clasped tightly. “You think he’d be down to fund my trip to Coachella?”

Jeno slaps his shoulder.

“ _I_ _was kidding_ ,” Donghyuck hisses, backing away from the desk in favour of laying down on Jeno’s bed again. “I’m not a gold digger. If I was, I would’ve been all over _you_.”

“Very funny,” Jeno says with a snicker.

“You love me, though,” Donghyuck says quietly. “Right?”

This time, Jeno laughs and the sound is clear and full of life (so unlike himself). “Unfortunately.”

It makes Donghyuck feel better, even if just a little.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

By the time Donghyuck makes it home later that night, it’s way past his curfew, late enough that he’s more than a 100% sure that his outing privileges in danger of being revoked. He sets his bike on a patch of grass in the backyard, not wanting to risk opening the garage to properly store it and sneaks in through the kitchen door.

Chenle is sitting at the island, his face in his hands as he dozes off. However, he jolts back to reality once he hears Donghyuck set foot in the kitchen.

Donghyuck frowns, shutting the door behind him.

“What the fuck are you doing up so late? It’s a school night,” Donghyuck grunts, making sure to lock the door. Chenle looks up, rubbing at his bleary eyes. “Hey! Earth to Chenle!”

“Sorry,” the younger boy says, clearing his throat. “I guess I fell asleep.”

“I told you,” Donghyuck snaps, letting his bag fall to the floor with a soft thud. “You don’t have to wait up for me. I can fend for myself.”

“But- I wasn’t…” Chenle mumbles, looking down at his hands. “I just came down to get a drink of water.”

Donghyuck’s eyes dart to the island’s surface and then towards the kitchen sink. Both are void of Chenle’s alleged glass of water.

“Yeah? With what glass?” Donghyuck asks, crossing his arms over his chest. He can see Chenle attempt to work out another lie, his tired state slowing his otherwise quick wits. Donghyuck sighs. “Go to bed, you brat.”

Chenle hesitates before standing without another word. He exits the kitchen and sets off in the direction of the staircase, leaving Donghyuck behind with the dark thoughts swirling through his head.

Donghyuck knows he’s being harsh towards the younger kid, but he doesn’t care. Especially when he and his father are partially responsible for the way his life turned to shit.

The story goes like this:

Donghyuck’s family had originally been composed of his mom, dad, him, and _no one else_. Just the three of them against the world until one particular Thursday afternoon two years ago.

Donghyuck is lounging on Jeno’s floor, working his way through a series of math equations when he receives a text from his dad, telling him to _come home asap. love you_. Initially, he doesn’t think much of it, which is why he takes his sweet old time in packing up his things.

Within the next half hour, Donghyuck’s life comes to a standstill, changed forever.

“What the fuck do you mean you’re getting a divorce,” Donghyuck barks, not even bothering to omit the curse word in front of his parents, who seem way too calm for his liking. “What kind of sick joke is this?”

Donghyuck’s dad looks away, his posture falling by a fraction of a millimeter.

“Hyuck,” his mom starts, her eyes closed as she speaks. “Please take this seriously. Your father and I-”

“How am I supposed to take this seriously?” he asks, with a nervous laugh. “Like… do you hear yourselves?”

“Hyuck-”

“No! What the hell happened to for better or for worse, huh? What could be so jarring that you can’t work it out like normal fucking people?”

“Hyuck, I-”

“Oh, don’t tell me you were cheating. Is that what this is?”

“ _For God’s sake, Donghyuck will you please shut up,_ ” his mom snaps, slipping into her rarely used mother tongue. Donghyuck stills. “ _Sit down._ Please.”

So Donghyuck complies, but only because fast paced dialect means no good will come from defying her.

“Fine,” he huffs, taking a seat on the sofa across from them. It’s then that he notices the distance between the two from where they sit on the loveseat. He swallows thickly, ignoring the prickling of his eyes as they warn him of his oncoming tears. “What is it?”

“Before I say anything,” his dad says quietly, finally looking him in the eyes. “I hope that this doesn’t change anything and that you know that I still love you no matter what.”

“Dad…” Donghyuck pouts, choking back a sob. He can taste a singular salty tear as it travels down his face and into his mouth.

“I’ve known this all my life and I thought that I could stay like this for you and your mother, but it’s… I can’t.” he says evenly, but Donghyuck knows it’s all a facade. His father is an open book, much like he is. It’s where he gets it from, for fuck sake. He looks up at the ceiling, closing his eyes for two seconds before looking back down at Donghyuck. “I’m gay.”

“I don’t care if you’re gay,” Donghyuck sobs, standing up once more. “I am too! That doesn’t mean… You don’t have to leave us! We can stay like this.”

Donghyuck’s father stands and walks closer to him, engulfing him in a too-tight hug.

“You know that’s not possible,” his father says quietly through his own tears.

“Says who?” Donghyuck chokes, because it’s not fucking fair. His dad is silent. “ _Says fucking who?_ ”

“Language, Hyuck,” he can hear his mother let out shakily. He doesn’t have to see her to know that she’s crying as well.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks over his dad’s shoulder. “I’m fucking sorry.”

She doesn’t say anything after that. None of them do.

By the end of the following week, Donghyuck’s dad is gone, living at his new place a few towns over; and his mother goes back to work at the courthouse almost like nothing ever happened.

And as for Donghyuck? He doesn’t even get the chance to make sense of things— to grieve.

But it's too late, because before he knows it, he’s being introduced to his dad’s new boyfriend, Danny, and later his mom’s, Chairman Robert Zhong. To make things worse, the Chairman has a son around Donghyuck’s age that he’s expected to get to like (he doesn’t).

At first, he doesn’t expect it last.

“Give it a month,” he remembers telling Jeno one day in homeroom, avoiding the pitying stares from some of his peers.

A month becomes a year, then a year becomes two, and eventually his mother gets engaged.

Fast forward a couple of months, the four of them all live together in Donghyuck’s childhood home. He sees his dad every once in awhile, but it isn’t the same.

It never will be.


	2. Smile

Donghyuck manages to forget about his bucket list until some time after school has come to a close for the summer and his life has been reduced to a dull routine of sleeping all day and eating when and if he remembers to. It’s weird, he thinks, watching his life come to a sort of standstill during what could be the busiest period of his teenage life, thanks to his mom’s upcoming wedding next summer.

It’s currently early in the month of July and, much to his mother and the Chairman’s dismay, Donghyuck hasn’t left the house since his last exam of the school year; Music Theory with Mr Moon, which he’d aced despite not having studied at all (he ended up cheating off of Renjun’s exam, but that's besides the point).

If Donghyuck closes his eyes long enough, he can still hear Jeno’s voice in his head begging him to put down his DS and at least review the basics of the course.

What Donghyuck had really wanted to say was something along the lines of: “The thought of studying alone is enough to make me want to kill myself more than I already do.”

“Jeno,” he’d said instead, eyes glued to the screen of his device. He couldn't risk looking away, not when he was in the middle of racing against Jaemin’s team in Mario Kart. “I don’t need to study.”

Jeno had thankfully dropped the subject after that, allowing for Donghyuck to somewhat peacefully trod down his path of self-destruction; a path that his mother surprisingly seems to catch wind of.

She knocks on his door that Sunday morning as he lounges on his bed, staring up at the ceiling doing absolutely nothing at all.

“What,” Donghyuck groans, putting on his best _I just woke up_ voice. He isn’t in the mood to be scolded, or even spoken to for that matter.

“Don't be a little shit,” his mother says, twisting the knob. She enters the room, dressed to the nines in some pantsuit Donghyuck knows is probably worth more than even the MacBook that sits on his bedside table. “And good morning to you too.”

Donghyuck ignores the greeting, eyeing her outfit suspiciously. Even for her, it’s too early to be fully dressed and so fancily so. “Where are you going?”

His mother pauses, chewing on her lower lip. She sighs. “Macau.”

“Macau?” Donghyuck blinks, head tilted to the side as he sits up in his bed. “Where the hell is that-”

“ _Language_ -”

“I'm sorry…” he huffs, letting his head fall against his pillow once more. “Where the _heck_ is that?”

“China,” she says quietly in response, fixing her short hair in the mirror propped against Donghyuck’s closet door. He opens his mouth to protest at the absurdity of such a spontaneous trip. “Before you say anything, it's to meet with his parents. We'll only be gone for two weeks.”

“You couldn’t have told me _before_?”

“We tried,” she says, giving him a pointed look. “Reaching you hasn’t been the easiest of tasks as of late.”

“Fair enough,” Donghyuck decides, twiddling his thumbs from where they rest against his abdomen. “Does this mean I'll have to babysit the brat?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” his mother laughs as if the question is the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “If anything, he'll be looking after _you_.”

“ _Funny_ ,” Donghyuck lets out, his tone clipped and bitter.

“Hyuck,” his mother says, the air shifting to a more serious one as she moves towards his bed and takes a seat at its edge. It isn’t easy considering the clutter that litters _most_ of the space that isn’t taken up by his own body. He suddenly feels self conscious about the empty honeybun wrappers that he has hidden underneath his orthopedic pillow. “Listen.”

“I'm listening,” he answers, clearing his throat.

“Please don't do anything stupid while I'm away,” she continues, looking over him. For a moment, Donghyuck stills, wondering if she’s aware of his little secret. “Take care of yourself. Don't blow up the house,” she pauses, looking around Donghyuck’s mess of a room. “Clean your room, for Christ sake-”

“ _I got it_ ,” Donghyuck cuts in, stammering. His mom raises a neat brow. “I’m serious. I won't do anything stupid,” he assures her, shooing her off his bed. “You can leave now.”

“I asked your father and Jaehyun to check in on the two of you every now and then,” she adds, continuing her lecture as Donghyuck gently leads her towards his door. “So if you need _anything_ , just give either of them a call.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, giving her one last push as they reach the door. “I got it.”

“Oh,” she gasps, turning before he can shut the door in her face. “If there's an emergency-”

“Call 9-1-1, I know!” he moans exasperatedly. “Bye mom. Have a nice trip.”

“ _I love you_ ,” she reminds him, slipping into her mother tongue.

“Same,” Donghyuck sighs, trying not to pull away from her hand as she reaches up to stroke his cheek.

His mother sighs, running a hand through his damaged auburn hair once more, before nodding.

“I’ll see you in two weeks,” she says quietly.

It’s Donghyuck’s turn to nod. His mother gives him one last smile before exiting his room. He shuts the door behind her with a relieved sigh.

The sense of elation doesn’t stay, though. It’s as if the state of his room finally hits him, as if simply living in his own filth wasn’t enough of a wake up call. He feels sort of stupid, that it took his own mother telling him to clean his room to realize just how nasty it is that he’s been wearing the same _I Heart Jesus_ shirt he (accidentally) stole from his grandma for the past week.

It reminds him of a stupid meme Jaemin had shown him a few months back. It’s a drawing of Disney’s Max and Roxanne standing in a trash filled room with the caption: _Damn bitch you live like this?_

“Fuck… _I’m_ Roxanne,” Donghyuck says to himself, scratching the top of his unwashed head. “ _I_ live like this.”

So Donghyuck gets to cleaning.

His bucket list doesn’t resurface until he’s emptied the underside of his bed of a week’s worth of empty water bottles. The crumpled piece of paper lies flat, pinned beneath a woollen sock he thought had vanished into thin air.

Reading it brings back a wave of emotions he’d pushed to the back of his head over the last month or so of school. He keeps it nonetheless, not sure if it’s something he’s willing to get rid of quite yet. Especially since he still feels the same he did while writing it, if not worse.

He sets it on top of his laptop, deciding that he’ll tend to it once his room is looking less like hoarder’s.

It’s after he’s disposed of most of his room’s contents and washed all his clothes that Donghyuck gives himself the time to read his redacted bucket list once more. He’s hunched over the sad, worn out piece of lined paper in the laundry room while face timing Jeno.

“You remember my bucket list?”

“Hi Jeno, how are you doing man?" Jeno mocks, lowering his voice to a _ridiculous_ pitch. "Oh I’m great Hyuck! It’s nice to finally hear from you after _a whole week_.”

“Sorry?” Donghyuck tries, grimacing.

“It's whatever," Jeno sighs, running a hand through his hair. "What’s this about a list?”

“My bucket list. The one you redacted.”

“I have the faintest memory of it…" Jeno mutters, squinting. "What about it?”

“Let’s do it.”

Jeno pauses, frowning. “Now?”

“I mean… Why not?" Donghyuck says, shrugging. "My mom and the Chairman are out of the country for two weeks. Chenle won’t be bothering us out of fear for his life and I’m in need of a fucking haircut.”

“Haircut?”

Donghyuck nods. “Meet me at Jaemin’s in ten.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Dude, you stink.”

“Hi Jaemin,” Donghyuck sighs, stepping into Jaemin’s house.

“Hi Hyuck,” Jaemin says with his signature shit eating grin as he shuts the front door. “You fucking reek.”

“He’s not lying,” Jeno agrees, graciously toeing off his obnoxiously bright red Vans.

“I know,” Donghyuck grunts, trying his best to keep his distance from the two. He kicks off his Adidas slides. “I haven’t showered today, alright.”

Or that week, for that matter. His friends don't need to know that, though.

Jaemin narrows his eyes. “You couldn’t have showered before coming here?”

“I thought it’d be pointless to,” Donghyuck shrugs. That, and his clean clothes hadn't finished drying yet. “You know, considering what we’re about to do.”

“Smart,” Jaemin decides, nodding. Always easily swayed, that one. “Come right this way, Stinky.”

“What are we even doing?” Jeno asks, lagging behind as the other two leave the house’s foyer and head for the stairs. “Why are you two assholes keeping me out of the loop?”

“It’s number six on The List, Jeno,” Jaemin says, leading the way upstairs. “I forwarded it to you. Don’t you check your emails?”

“Not if they’re from you,” Jeno scoffs, glaring at Jaemin. “Anyway, what’s number six again?”

“Go bald,” Jaemin says, dramatically pausing at the first landing. “We’re changing it to a badass undercut, though. Much cooler.”

“You're joking,” Jeno snorts, bumping into Donghyuck.

“Nah,” Donghyuck says, steadying the two of them.

Jeno blinks, his brain visibly processing the information as they continue up the stairs.

“So you weren’t kidding about that haircut…” he breathes, eyeing the unwashed mop that sits atop Donghyuck's head.

“Nope,” Donghyuck reveals, combing his fingers through the long stringy locks. It's almost been a year since his last haircut and it's long enough that he could put it in a top knot if he wanted to. Not to mention the ends are damaged from that time Jaemin bleached the life out of his hair to get it to its current auburn shade. “I mean, it's just a bit off the bottom and a little trim. Might even dye it later, but nothing too drastic for now.”

“Well damn,” Jeno says, following as Jaemin opens the door to his bathroom. There's a cut-open garbage bag laid out on the tiled floor, on which a chair from Jaemin’s kitchen stands. There's even a bag of clippers lying untouched on the closed toilet seat. “And you’re letting this dingus near your head with a pair of clippers?” Jeno asks, jabbing Jaemin in the shoulder.

“Hey!” Jaemin whines, rubbing the sore spot. “My mom’s a hairdresser!”

“Yeah, your mom,” Jeno quips, taking a seat on the chair. “As in, not _you_.”

“Well she isn't here at the moment, so I'm Hyuck's best bet,” Jaemin explains haughtily, turning to Donghyuck in search of his approval. “Right Hyuck?”

Jaemin isn’t exactly wrong in assuming this. It's not like Donghyuck can afford a haircut from a licensed hair stylist on his own. And it wouldn't feel right to use the credit card the Chairman gave to him as a birthday present.

So, he shrugs.

“See?” Jaemin smirks, delivering a smack to Jeno's upper arm. “Now move. That seat’s for the man of the hour.”

Jeno rolls his eyes, but hops off the chair nonetheless, the socked soles of his feet hitting the floor with a soft thud. Donghyuck promptly takes his place, shrugging off his fading U.S Navy crewneck.

“Alright,” Jaemin hums as he goes around the room, plucking the item’s he’ll be needing to cut Donghyuck’s hair. The latter tries not to flinch when Jaemin attempts to throw a towel into his lap.

It hits his face instead, giving him a mouthful of deep blue Egyptian cotton.

“You sure you still want this menace to cut your hair?” Jeno asks, his tone incredulous as the clippers in Jaemin’s hands come to life with a steady buzz.

Donghyuck spares Jaemin a quick glance, his eyes darting to the machine in his hand. Knowing the kid, things could go south in the blink of an eye.

“You’d have to be really fucking inept to fuck up an undercut,” Donghyuck decides with a shrug. He drapes the towel over his shoulders. “Let’s do this thing.”

“I guess you’re right,” Jeno says quietly, taking a seat on the bathroom counter. “Who could fuck that up?”

Apparently Jaemin could.

“Oops,” the boy says. Donghyuck can see him grimace through the mirror in front of them and curses. “I don’t know what I just did…”

“What the fuck do you mean- What did you do?”

“I think I took a little too much off the top?”

“You _think_?”

“I can fix this,” Jaemin all but yells, the clippers still humming in his hand. Donghyuck leans away, the manic look in his best friend's eyes a little off putting. “Just come closer-”

“Hell no!”

“Dude-”

“Touch my head and I'll… I don't know," Donghyuck stammers, balling his fists. "But it'll be bad. Back off.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Jaemin pouts, switching off the device. He sets it down on the granite countertop. “But what now?”

Donghyuck eyes the missing patch of hair at the top of his head through the pristine mirror. He chokes back an ugly sob.

“ _I_ _’ll_ figure something out,” Jeno pipes up, probably taking account of the glint of unmasked misery in Donghyuck’s eyes. “Jaemin, you're dismissed.”

“Fair enough,” Jaemin shrugs, crossing his arms as he leans back on the counter. “What comes next?”

“I think I have an idea. Give me fifteen minutes.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Jeno's ‘idea’ ends up being some college student named Johnny, who also happens to be his neighbour’s boyfriend. As it turns, the guy has spent the last two years cutting people’s hair in his kitchen for cash on the side. However, since Donghyuck is poor and the state of his hair resembles something like a Shakespearean tragedy personified (Johnny’s words, not Donghyuck’s), Johnny fixes his hair for free.

It takes Donghyuck everything he has in him to not bow at Johnny’s feet.

Johnny does his best to make a decent (understatement) fade out of the mess ( _understatement_ ) Jaemin had left behind and takes a considerable amount of length off the mop that sits on his head. In the end, Donghyuck's hair is cropped shorter than anything he can remember having in all his 17 years of living.

Though after staring at himself through the front facing camera of his phone for the majority of his walk back home, Donghyuck decides that he doesn’t necessarily dislike it all that much.

Donghyuck knows the look will take some getting used to, but overall, he feels _good_. Great, even. It's ridiculously cheesy and sort of disgusts him just thinking about it, but the absence of all that extra weight of hair on his shoulders is liberating in a way he didn’t expect in writing his bucket list.

He smiles to himself as he unlocks the front door of his house and steps into the dimly lit foyer.

Chenle, who'd been sitting in the living room to the left, looks up immediately at the sound of the front door coming to a close behind Donghyuck.

“Hey,” the boy says quietly, visibly trying not to stare too much at Donghyuck’s freshly shaved head as he kicks off his slides. He obviously fails, but Donghyuck lets him live, even if just for now. “Your hair….”

Donghyuck chuckles. “You like?” he asks, rubbing his head as he steps away from the foyer, pausing briefly beneath the living room’s archway. The texture is fuzzy and reminds him a bit of the peaches his dad used to get from the farmer’s market on the outskirts of town.

“It's…” Chenle falters, shifting his position on the couch. Donghyuck waits patienly, leaning against the arch’s trim as Chenle thinks his next words through. “If it makes you happy,” he decides, shrugging.

Donghyuck nods, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “It does...” he admits, because strangely enough, it really _does_ make him feel slightly, if not a lot better than he did before. “It makes me happy.”

“Then yeah,” Chenle continues with a shy smile of his own. “I like it.”

“Thanks, ” Donghyuck says, letting out a small laugh before pushing himself up and away from the arch. “I’m gonna shower then hit the hay, or whatever. Don’t stay up too late, or my mom will find out and kill me.”

“Sure,” Chenle says, nodding.

Donghyuck sighs, turning on his heels. He heads for the stairs, though not before sending a quick _night, brat_ over his shoulder.

“Have a good night,” Chenle calls in response, before going back to whatever late night reruns he was busy absorbing _before_ Donghyuck returned from Jaemin’s.

Donghyuck takes his time going up the stairs, thinking of all the things he’d accomplished since his mom and the Chairman left for China that very morning. He’d _finally_ cleaned his shameful bedroom, washed his clothes, _and_ reconnected with Jaemin and Jeno after having spent so much time ignoring in the midst of his midsummer crisis.

 _I even trimmed my fingernails_.

Donghyuck’s shower is quick and a little too hot for his liking, but it gets the job done.

It’s once he’s halfway down the hallway to his room that he remembers that he forgot to empty the dryer of his clothes after getting back. He sighs, tightening the towel around his waist before continuing in the direction of his room, ready to sulk.

Donghyuck doesn’t know how to feel in seeing his freshly cleaned clothes neatly folded in a basket over a crisp set of clean bedsheets.

“Fucking brat,” Donghyuck lets out, though it holds close to no bite than it normally does.

It’s just like Chenle, he thinks, to do things for him despite how horrible Donghyuck has been to him over the years.

Donghyuck doesn’t think much of it, though. At least not in the moment. He’s too tired for anymore inner reflecting, or whatever it is that people call it.

So he sets the basket aside and quickly gets into a clean set of sleep wear before tucking himself into bed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Donghyuck makes breakfast for both he and Chenle. It’s nothing too fancy, just the basic buttermilk pancakes with a side of bacon and scrambled eggs, but the younger boy is appreciative nonetheless and wolfs it down before heading off to summer school for the day.

Neither of them mention the folded laundry.


	3. Thin Ice

The next few days are dull, as Donghyuck is the only one out of his group of friends without a part time job or summer school to go to.

Even Jaemin, of all people, has a job working as a receptionist at his mother’s salon.

So Donghyuck spends his days lounging around the house and not doing much at all. The only differences now are that he and Chenle are somewhat civil with each other (Donghyuck has only snapped at him twice that week, an all time low), he’s Face Timed his dad once or twice, and he occasionally leaves messages in his group chat (composed of him, Jeno, Renjun, and Jaemin) with updates of his boring life.

That’s the way his days go by until the Friday of that week.

Summer school is finally out for the weekend for Renjun, while Jeno and Jaemin both have days off which calls for an impromptu day out. All it means is that they all go to the mall on the north side of town for an afternoon spent loitering and drinking as much bubble tea as their stomachs can handle.

Donghyuck digs through the drawers of his night stand for some spare change before speeding down to Renjun’s parked car as it waits for him in the driveway, coins rattling in the pocket of his jeans.

“Get in baldy,” Jaemin says in greeting from his place in the passenger side seat of Renjun’s car, his head sticking out of the opened window. “We’re going shopping.”

“Hi,” Donghyuck snorts, his hand instinctively going up to rub the top of his shaved head as he approaches the backside of the car. He opens the door to find one disgruntled Jeno, staring daggers into the back of Jaemin's head. Donghyuck has a feeling that it may or may not have something to do with how SHINee’s Ring Ding Dong (Jeno’s least favourite song on their discography) is blasting from the sound system. “How’s life?”

“Horrible,” Jeno groans, his eyes pleading as Donghyuck settles into his seat.

“Decent,” Renjun says with a shrug, twisting the key in the ignition.

“Amazing!” Jaemin then explains once the music comes to a pause as the car roars to life. He turns to Donghyuck. “You?”

“Somewhere between Renjun and Jeno’s answer,” Donghyuck sighs, doing up his seat belt. “Unemployment sucks.”

 _Unemployment while depressed is even worse_ , he wants to add, but decides against it. His friends don’t need to know yet.

“Have you done anything for that list of yours?” Renjun, who’d been informed of The List’s existence via email a few days ago as an explanation for Donghyuck’s bald ass head, asks as he backs the car around the Lee-Zhong household’s driveway.

“Nope,” Donghyuck says, leaning back in his seat. “I haven’t even left the house since Sunday.”

“Sad,” Renjun hisses, turning onto the main road.

Donghyuck laughs. “Tell me about it.”

“We should do one today,” Renjun suggests, his eyes lighting up mischievously. “Since I’m here now. I want to see you in action.”

“I’m down if you all are,” Donghyuck shrugs, his eyes darting to the other two boys in the car.

“You know I am,” Jaemin says, pulling out his phone to skip the current song. The first few chords of Despacito (the original, not the Justin Bieber version, because of Renjun’s “No JB in this vehicle or you can walk yourself home” policy) flood the car’s interior at once.

“Same,” Jeno affirms, his head lolling over to lean on Donghyuck’s shoulder. “You got any mall appropriate goals?”

“You still haven’t checked your emails, huh?” Jaemin jeers, shaking his head disapprovingly.

“I said,” Jeno starts through gritted teeth. “Not if they’re from _you_!”

“ _Boys_ ,” Renjun tuts, eyeing Jeno through the rear view mirror. “Now’s not the time for another one of your quarrels,” he mutters, before flitting his gaze back to the road. Jeno clicks his tongue in disdain. “Anyway, mall related options: you got any?”

“Uh…” Donghyuck falters, thinking of his list. He laughs awkwardly, remembering the very first thing he’d jotted down onto the lined paper. “Sort of.”

“Goal number one,” Jaemin pipes up, brandishing his phone for all to see. A pdf of the scanned version of the crumpled piece of paper is displayed on its screen. “ _Steal from Zumiez._ ”

“Illegal,” Renjun says, his brows knit. “But doable.”

“What is wrong with you guys?” Jeno groans, sounding more exasperated than usual.

“Come on, Jeno.” Renjun says, his face neutral even as he knowingly gets under Jeno’s skin. “Live a little.”

“Yeah! Come on, Jeno!” Jaemin repeats. He looks over his shoulder to get a better look at Jeno’s frowning face and wiggles his eyebrows. Donghyuck has to hold in a laugh for Jeno’s sake. “Don’t be boring.”

“Shut the fuck up Jaemin. I’m not boring!” Jeno quips, straightening in his seat. He pouts, turning to Donghyuck. “So…” he starts with newfound determination. “What are we helping you steal?”

Donghyuck hums, thinking of all the things he could potentially swipe right from under Jaehyun’s (the store's assistant manager and Donghyuck’s neighbour) nose. And while the store might not exactly appeal to Donghyuck’s tastes (he isn’t a sneakerhead like Jeno, and neither does he wear Thrasher religiously like Renjun), there is one thing he thinks he might benefit from.

He taps Jaemin on the shoulder. “You still have hair dye at your house, right?”

“You want me to touch your hair again?” he asks, his eyes lighting up for a moment before going back to normal. “I don’t have gloves or anything, though.”

“Which is exactly what I’m going to be stealing.”

“Smart,” Jaemin muses, nodding fast.

“I concur,” Renjun says, driving the car out of Donghyuck’s neighbourhood.

“Okay,” Jeno huffs, crossing his arms. “But if you get caught, you’re on your own.”

“Oh please,” Donghyuck says haughtily, rolling his eyes. “I’m not going to get caught.”

“But…” Jeno splutters, his eyes slightly fearful. “Jaehyun’s like a vulture.”

Donghyuck laughs, throwing an arm over Jeno’s tense shoulders. The latter looks to him, his eyes wide.

“That, my friend,” Donghyuck starts, smirking. Jeno’s breath hitches as he attempts to pull away. “Is where _you_ come in.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The boys, minus a fearful Jeno, end up conspiring for the remainder of the five minute drive to the mall from Donghyuck’s house. The plan they hatch is a simple one, explained clearly enough for even an idiot like Jaemin to understand.

“Remember,” Donghyuck says once each of them have finished ordering bubble tea for themselves by the shop near the Zumiez. “Don't let Jaehyun out of your sight.”

Jaemin, who'd been too busy unwrapping the large straw in his hand nods, poking the cylinder into his large cup of honeydew boba. “Don't worry, I got you.”

“Oh, I know you do,” Donghyuck assures, taking a sip of his cup of taro boba. He'd made sure to go over the plan in a way that was easy to understand. He points to Jeno with his free hand. “It's this guy I'm worried about.”

“I don't get it,” Renjun says after taking a sip of his mango slush. “Doesn't Jaehyun like you? Why are you scared of him?”

“It's not that he's _scared_ of Jaehyun,” Jaemin explains, affectionately bumping into Jeno. The latter grunts, shuffling away. “He just has a _teensy weensy_ crush on him and doesn't want to piss him off. Right Jeno?”

“This is news to me,” Donghyuck says, leading the way to the store. He glances over at Jeno who, despite the obvious deep red of his cheeks, is looking away, pretending not to be a part of the conversation. “Seriously?”

“Don't know what you're talking about.”

“Right,” Jaemin sing songs, drawing out the vowel longer than necessary.

“Shut up, Jaemin.”

“Look,” Donghyuck sighs, pausing next to a garbage station in front of the store. “I feel bad. You don't have to do this if you don't want to.”

“Hyuck, I'm fine,” Jeno says, finally looking back at Donghyuck. “Let's just stick to the plan, okay?”

“Okay…” Donghyuck says, not entirely convinced. Jeno rolls his eyes. “Let's do this.”

At that, Jeno pulls Jaemin into the store by his upper arm, leaving Donghyuck and Renjun behind by the garbage bins.

“Look at our little stick in the mud go,” Renjun says, watching as Jeno takes control, albeit shyly, and walks towards Jaehyun. His back is turned to the pair, too deep in a conversation with someone in a Foot Locker uniform that Donghyuck can't name from where he stands. “You think he'll go through with it?”

Donghyuck squints just as Jaehyun pauses his conversation with the stranger to tend to Jeno and Jaemin's fictional needs. “There's no backing out now,” he says, bringing the pink straw of his drink to his lips. He gets a mouthful of boba and turns to Renjun.  “You ready to go?”

Renjun frowns in disgust at the half chewed boba remnants that cling to Donghyuck’s tongue as he speaks. “You're gross,” he says, kissing his teeth. “But yes. I'm ready.”

“Let's get going, then.”

Renjun nods and follows Donghyuck as he begins to moves towards the store. Thankfully, Jaehyun is too busy taking his time to describe the different types of Vans displayed on the wall to Jaemin and a starry eyed Jeno by the time they step into the space.

Unlike the guy in the Foot Locker uniform, the assistant manager doesn't even flinch at the sound of the store’s bell going off.

“Oh hey,” Renjun says in greeting once the guy turns around to face the two of them. Donghyuck immediately recognizes him as Mark Lee and stills.

 _The astronaut’s kid_ , Donghyuck thinks to himself, remembering the conversation he had with Jeno about the details of his bucket list what feels like years ago. He follows Renjun closer to where Mark stands at the help desk.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Renjun continues, holding out his free hand.

“Dude, you know I work next door,” Mark jokes, straightening as he pushes himself off the central counter. He steps closer to Renjun, his own hand held out as the exchange a complicated looking handshake. “What’s good?”

Donghyuck blinks, thinking this may be the first time he’s ever seen the two of them interact. Hell, he didn't even know they were friends to begin with, being that Renjun is in the extensive theatre program while Mark is in athletics. Those two worlds don't exactly collide much at their school.

“You know how it is,” Renjun shrugs, swirling the cup of mango slush in his hand with an air of nonchalance. “Just browsing. You?”

“I’m on my break,” Mark explains, playing with the lanyard wrapped around his (muscular) neck. “Jae was just telling me about some gig he went to the other week. Taeyong’s I think.”

“ _He’s still trying to get in his pants?_ ” Donghyuck blurts, quickly pulling the straw out of his mouth to stop himself from choking on a ball of tapioca. Renjun snorts while Mark’s eyes double in size at the sound of his voice. “Pretend I didn’t just say that.”

Mark gapes at him, a hint of a smile dancing on his lips, and Donghyuck wants nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“Thanks for killing the vibe,” Renjun groans, dramatically shaking his head. He gestures to the clearance rack a few steps away. “I’m gonna dip. See you whenever, Mark.” he says, looking between Donghyuck and Mark. “Try not to die while I’m away, Hyuck.”

Renjun walks off, though not before affectionately rubbing the top of Donghyuck’s fuzzy head.

“ _I’m_ Hyuck, by the way,” Donghyuck says quietly, his attention back to Mark once Renjun is out of earshot.

“I know. We sat together in English all of last semester,” Mark laughs, most probably remembering all of Donghyuck’s embarrassing antics. “We had a couple projects together, too.”

“Right,” Donghyuck says, nodding slowly.  He looks down at his shoes; a pair of Vans he’s had since the eighth grade that’s in dire need of replacing. He glances at Mark’s. They’re considerably nicer than his own, as expected of a Foot Locker employee. “I was just making sure you didn’t forget.”

“I could never forget you,” Mark says with a quick shrug. Donghyuck tries not to choke on the tapioca that sits on his tongue. “You made that course so entertaining. Mr D could never.”

Donghyuck reddens at the compliment.

Mr D, or Dongyoung Kim, is the student teacher who’d been sitting in on their class for the most part of the semester. He’d occasionally take the reins and lead a lesson all on his own, which, Donghyuck has to admit, made going to school worthwhile, something his other teachers had yet to achieve.

No offence to Mr Moon, though.

“Thanks,” Donghyuck mutters, looking in any direction _but_ Mark’s. “I’m honoured.”

“It’s cool,” Mark shrugs again, before gesturing at the top of Donghyuck’s head. “I don’t remember you being bald, though. What’s that all about?”

“Ah,” Donghyuck exclaims, nodding. “This.”

Mark looks to him expectantly.

“Bucket list,” he says with a shrug of his own.

It’s a much simpler explanation than the more truthful _I’m desperate and suicidal_ route.

Mark raises a brow curiously, his expression somewhat… impressed. Donghyuck hides a smile by closing his mouth over his straw and walks away, figuring that he may as well find what it is he came to Zumiez for in the first place.

“Bucket list?” Mark asks, following closely behind as Donghyuck scans a shelf of miscellaneous items. “You’re not… _terminally ill_ , are you?”

“I don’t have cancer, if that’s what you’re asking,” Donghyuck begins after a long sip of his purple drink. Mark stills at his side for a moment. “I’m just bored,” Donghyuck lies, eyeing Mark through his peripheral vision. “I haven’t left the house much this summer, so I guess you could say I have cabin fever, or something.”

Mark hums in acknowledgment, his gaze fixed on Donghyuck as he crouches down to sift through a display of Manic Panic products. Donghyuck sets his cup down onto the floor upon seeing the tool kit hidden behind a bottle of fluorescent pink hair dye.

“That’s sad,” Mark says eventually, leaning against something that looks more like a Thrasher monument than anything. The wooden structure wobbles slightly beneath his weight before steadying. “You haven’t been to any parties?”

“Nope,” Donghyuck admits, his finger closing around the kit. He retracts his arm as he looks up at Mark’s looming figure. “Last one I went to was Renjun’s semi after party in, like, May.”

“I remember that one,” Mark reveals as Donghyuck picks up both his cup and the tool kit. Donghyuck straightens. “Didn’t you vom-”

“ _Hey_ ,” Donghyuck warns, cutting in before Mark can finish his sentence, for he doesn't need to be reminded of the time he _accidentally_ puked all over Lucas Wong’s polo after an intense game of beer pong. In his defense, the shirt was ugly enough to begin with, but it's still embarrassing. He waves the kit in Mark’s face. “We don’t speak about the incident.”

Mark brings his hands up in a defensive stance.

“My lips are sealed,” he swears, biting his lower lip to keep himself from giggling.

Donghyuck looks him up and down.

“Good,” he decides before stuffing the kit into the front pocket of his hoodie.

Mark’s eyes widen once more, his gaze shifting between Donghyuck and his now protruding pocket. “ _Hyuck_ ,” he whispers, his voice significantly lowered. “What are you doing?”

Donghyuck snorts. “Stealing this kit.”

“But…” Mark falters, quickly looking over at Jaehyun, who is (thankfully) nowhere in sight. “Why?”

“It’s on the bucket list,” Donghyuck smiles, stepping around Mark. “You gonna rat me out?”

Mark blinks twice before looking down at his striped shirt.

“I don’t work here,” he says, looking back up at Donghyuck, who then smiles.

“Then you’re a real one, Mark Lee!” Donghyuck exclaims, slapping the elder’s shoulder before backing away.  “See ya.”

“B-but, wait…” Mark splutters, shuffling forward. “Where are you going?”

“Walmart. I am in need of some hair dye,” Donghyuck says, pausing in his tracks. “I’m thinking coke white… Maybe orange,” he mutters, swirling what remains of the drink in his hand. Mark raises a brow. “Don’t worry, though. I’ll actually pay for the dye.”

“That’s reassuring, I guess…” Mark says quietly, scratching the back of his neck. He tilts his head. “Don’t get caught on your way out?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dongyuck assures, turning on his heel. His eyes are immediately met with Renjun, who looks to him expectantly. Donghyuck nods swiftly, patting the front of his pocket before looking in Jeno and Jaemin’s direction. “ _Boys_ ,” he calls. “We’re done here!”

Jaehyun chooses this moment to make a reappearance. He sticks his head out of the storage room and drops the stack of boxed Vans as soon as his eyes land on a smirking Donghyuck.

“Hyuck?” Jaehyun asks, _glaring_. He turns to Jeno and Jaemin. Neither of the boys give Jaehyun the chance to interrogate them, choosing instead to dash away from where he stands, dumbfounded. “What the fuck is going on?”

“ _Nothing_ ,” Donghyuck answers, unable to mask his laughter as he slips out of the store and into the mall’s corridor, his three friends in tow. He looks over his shoulder, letting out a quick, “See you later, Jae!”

Donghyuck can hear Jaehyun curse loudly in response, but the sound is quickly drowned out by Jeno’s own cursing on top of Jaemin and Renjun’s jovial laughter.

They don’t stop running until they reach Renjun’s car, in which they sit for at least five minutes before actually heading off.

Donghyuck can’t help but wonder if the burning in his chest is due to the physical exertion he just underwent, or a byproduct of the secrets he keeps too close to his heart for comfort.

Donghyuck fights the tears welling up in his eyes the moment Jeno rests his head against his shoulder in exhaustion.

“You okay?” Jeno asks, looking up at him through his lashes.

“I’m good,” Donghyuck lies, clearing his throat. He glances down at his friend. “You did good, by the way.”

“I second that,” Renjun adds, putting the car into drive.

Next to him, Jaemin bobs his head, too immersed in the song that plays to actively participate in the conversation.

“Thanks guys,” Jeno smiles, nuzzling into Donghyuck’s hoodie. “It was kind of fun. I lowkey can’t wait to do more of this stuff.”

“Same,” Renjun says, driving out of the mall’s lot. He looks at Donghyuck through the rearview mirror. “But first, let’s get this guy some hair dye.”

Donghyuck nods, closing his eyes. It doesn't take too long for him to doze off in the backseat of Renjun’s car, Jeno doing the same from where he's resting upon Donghyuck's shoulder.


	4. Knock Knock

Donghyuck’s daily summer afternoon nap is interrupted by the sharp and repetitive sound of his phone’s ringing. He immediately recognizes the ringtone as Renjun’s (That one sad violin song) and shifts in his bed to reach for the device. He disconnects it from his charger with one swift yank and picks up.

“What?” he says, pleasantries nonexistent as he runs his fingers through the short, platinum blonde strands of his freshly dyed hair.

“Are you coming tonight, or what?”

Donghyuck blinks slowly, momentarily racking his brain for a piece of information he may be missing. He comes up empty.

“What’s tonight?”

“Don’t you check the group chat?” Renjun asks in response.

“No,” Donghyuck snorts, pulling his comforter closer to his chin. “I’ve had it muted ever since Jaemin ‘accidentally’ sent us furry porn last night.”

Donghyuck isn’t Catholic anymore ("Sorry, grandma...."), but he’s seriously considering paying the priest at the neighbourhood church a visit after having clicked on that damned link.

“Well, unmute it,” Renjun says quickly. “Jeno kicked him out of the chat, so we’re a Jaemin Free Zone until further notice.”

“Ah Jeno,” Donghyuck sighs, rubbing at his still sleepy eyes. “What would we do without him?”

“Kill Jaemin, maybe…” Renjun mutters plainly on the other end.  

“Probably,” Donghyuck agrees, rolling his eyes. “Tell me what I missed, then.”

“My parents are going on a ‘romantic getaway’ for the weekend,” Renjun explains, excitement dripping from his words. “ _So_ … I’m throwing down!”

“Wait, they're actually letting you-”

“Of course not,” Renjun blurts, leaving Donghyuck’s sentence incomplete. “And Sicheng only agreed to chaperoning because I told him Yuta would come.”

“Sounds like Sicheng,” Donghyuck says, laughter escaping his lips. He doesn’t know much about Renjun’s cousin apart from the fact that he’s spent most of his summer in North America, pining after Renjun’s shift manager at Zoup, Yuta. “I’ll convince Jaehyun to drive me, or something.”

Donghyuck is seriously hoping Jaehyun has forgiven him for the whole Zumiez incident.

“ _Lit!_ ” Renjun exclaims, his voice shrill in Donghyuck's ear. “Come early so you can help me clean up a bit?”

“Fine,” Donghyuck grunts, to which Renjun lets out a barely audible sound of victory. “But you owe _me_ after.”

“You wish,” Renjun quips, laughing breathily. “I better see your ass here soon! Bye-”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“Who’s gonna be there tonight?”

“Just a couple of people," Renjun says. "No one important.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 _Just a couple of people_ ends up being a good majority of their school’s senior grades and a handful of people Donghyuck has never seen in his life.

It doesn’t take long for those people to crowd every nook and cranny of the Huang household and subsequently trash all the hard work he, Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun put into cleaning up for the event. Well, in actuality, Jeno had been the only one to clean while the other three boys tagged along with Sicheng to buy enough alcohol to last them the night.

At least, Donghyuck thinks, Jeno isn’t around to watch as all the effort he put into straightening the living room go to waste with every ounce of spilt beer that sloshes onto the tiled floors.

Donghyuck, suddenly thinking of his uptight friend, momentarily sets the disposable cup of rum and coke onto the cool surface of Renjun’s kitchen island and scans the crowd. Donghyuck hasn’t seen him, or any of his friends in what could easily have been an hour or two. He doesn’t know, which may or may not have to do with the alcohol in his system.

He’s buzzed, to say the least, enough that the absence of his friends doesn’t bother him _too much_ in the moment, and that he’s able to easily shrug the fact off his shoulders as he brings his cup to his lips, yet again.

Thankfully, the mixed drink doesn’t burn as it slides down his throat.

“Found you!”

“Fucking-” Donghyuck hisses, clenching his teeth as the cup in his hand falls to the floor. The mixture of rum and coke soaks his socks. He looks up and frowns. “ _Jaemin!_ ”

“Hi,” his friend says, grinning stupidly.

“Next time,” Donghyuck starts, gesturing wildly. “Try not to sneak up on me, maybe?”

Jaemin pouts, looking down at Donghyuck’s dampened socks. “Sorry?”

“It’s fine,” Donghyuck sighs, rolling his eyes. “Where’ve you been?”

“Rounding people up for a game of seven minutes in heaven,” Jaemin says, his signature grin making an appearance once more. There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes that Donghyuck can’t miss.

“What is this?” Donghyuck snorts, stepping away from the puddle. Jeno will probably clean it up later. Hopefully. “Grade six?”

“Come on,” Jaemin whines, tugging on the sleeve of Donghyuck’s jacket. “We’re doing this for _you_.”

“What do you mean…” Donghyuck falters, successfully yanking his arm away from Jaemin’s grasp.

Jaemin’s smile turns evil. “Mark Lee is here.”

“ _And?_ ”

“Number eleven on The List,” Jaemin explains, somewhat impatiently.

“Elaborate,” Donghyuck pleads, not pleased with the way their exchange is going.

“Make out with an astronaut!” Jaemin lets out, a little _too_ loud, even for him. “Well, we tweaked it to an astronaut's son,” he continues, his volumed lowered. “But you catch my drift.”

“Oh. Right…” Donghyuck mumbles, biting on his lower lip. “About that-”

“Nope!” Jaemin quips, taking Donghyuck by the arm. He begins to drag him away. “No backing out. We’re literally all waiting for you.”

“But… that’s creepy!” Donghyuck tries as he attempts to pry Jaemin’s clawlike fingers off of his wrist. “You’re turning this into some swingers type of deal-”

“Hyuck-”

“ _What if he doesn’t want to?_ ”

“Please, Hyuck,” Jaemin laughs, pausing halfway out the kitchen’s entry way. “You’re hot. People think you’re hot. Even a blind person could see that you’re hot-”

“I get it.”

“Good,” he smiles, nodding swiftly. “Then let’s go.”

“I…” Donghyuck stammers quietly, failing to find the words to protest _more_. “Fine.”

“That’s the spirit,” Jaemin whoops, raising a fist in the air. “Now, come with me.”

“If I embarrass myself, I’m going to kill myself…” Donghyuck mutters, crossing his arms. Jaemin blinks, looking up at him through his bangs. “I’m kidding. Where is this happening?”

“Down in the basement,” Jaemin says, stepping aside to give Donghyuck room to open the door himself. Donghyuck hesitates, his hand hovering above the knob. “You're not still nervous, are you?”

“I mean…” Donghyuck trails off, shrugging. “Sort of.”

“Well, I can't tell you not to be,” Jaemin decides, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “But I can tell you that everything will be fine. We even practiced how we'd subtly get the two of you in there.”

Donghyuck heaves a sigh, letting the tension in his shoulders fall at once. “O-okay,” he says, rolling his shoulders back. “Let's do this.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Looking back, Donghyuck should have known not to believe Jaemin, for subtlety has never exactly been his _or_ Jeno’s strong suits.

What takes the cake, however, is Renjun.

Fucking Renjun.

The theatre program’s leading man. The one who Donghyuck thought would be the most reliable in masking his eagerness with a rehearsed poker face.

Much to Donghyuck’s dismay, all it takes is one look at Renjun’s bloodshot eyes for him to know that the Renjun he knows and needs is about two grams and half an edible ago.

“ _Hyuck Lee!_ ” Renjun exclaims, as soon as Donghyuck is in view from the bottom of the staircase. “Nice of you to finally join us, buddy,”

Everyone, _including_  Mark Lee looks up at Donghyuck at the mention of his name.

Donghyuck's eyes are immediately drawn to the salmon pink dress shirt the older boy is wearing. On someone like Jeno, Donghyuck would have laughed. _We're at a party, not a wedding_ , he would have said.

But this is Mark and Mark is _hot_.

He looks away instead, cheeks heating up in an instant.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Donghyuck croaks, his throat suddenly dry.

“Sit next to me,” Renjun orders, his eyes dancing with something akin to mischief.

Donghyuck’s eyes travel to the empty space in the circle next to Renjun.

And Mark.

_Fuck._

Jaemin gently pushes Donghyuck forward, before he can even have the chance to argue his way out of the situation.

He stumbles more than he would have had he been sober and marches forward, trying not to trip on his way to his designated spot on the carpet.

“Hey,” Mark says in greeting, shifting slightly to make more room for Donghyuck. He gestures at the top of Donghyuck’s head, his eyes fixed on the coloured strands. “Your hair.”

“Hi,” Donghyuck laughs awkwardly, instinctively bringing his hand up to the do in question. He sits. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah, I like it,” Mark admits with a comforting smile. “It’s different.”

“ _Shit_ ,” Donghyuck mutters, running his hand over his hair, smoothing down whatever might be sticking up in the humid atmosphere. “I got _the_ Mark Lee seal of approval. That’s one for the books.”

Mark snorts. “Please-”

“I don’t mean to interrupt your flirt-off,” Renjun interjects, jabbing his elbow into Donghyuck’s side. The latter can hear Jaemin burst into laughter from where he sits next to Jeno on the other side of the circle. “But, we’re about to start here.”

Renjun points to the hat, filled with folded slips of paper, that sits in his lap.

“Sorry,” Mark says bashfully, hiding a smile behind a can of beer as he brings it to his lips. “Carry on.”

“ _Anyway,_ ” Renjun laughs, before continuing. “I’m assuming you all know how to play, right?”

“But, Renjun,” Jaemin says, raising his hand like something out of a classroom. “What if some of us don’t know how to play? Like Hyuck-”

“I know how to fucking play, Jaemin-”

“Hyuck, it’s okay,” Jeno says, _cracking the fuck up_. “This is a safe space.”

“Yeah, man,” Renjun adds, patting Donghyuck on the back. “Don't worry, I’ll explain.”

“I’m going to kill-”

“So we filled this hat with the names of tonight’s participants,” Renjun starts, before lowering his voice to a whisper. “Really it’s just you and Mark’s names over and over, but they don’t need to know that.”

“You’re a menace,” Donghyuck groans, running both his hands over his face.

It’s getting too hot.

“I believe it’s pronounced _genius_ ,” Renjun smirks, straightening. “Now that I’ve briefed you, let’s begin,” he then announces, reaching into the hat. He pulls out the first name and reads it. “ _Hyuck Lee.”_

The game’s participants begin to whoop, while Donghyuck closes his eyes.

“I wonder who’s next,” Jeno says and Donghyuck wants nothing more than to smack his friend across the face.

“The answer to your question is,” Renjun says, reaching into the hat for the second name. He reads it, pausing for dramatic effect. “ _Mark Lee!_ ”

Donghyuck can feel Mark still next to him and his heart immediately sinks.

“This was a bad idea,” Donghyuck starts to say, standing up. “I should-”

“Come on, Hyuck,” Renjun jeers, slapping Donghyuck’s calf. It stings. “Don’t be a pussy!”

Mark sets down his drink before standing up as well, scratching the back of his neck.

“We don’t actually have to do anything if you don’t want to,” he whispers, looking down at his socked feet. “We could just talk and make them think something happened, but— again— only if you want.”

Donghyuck sighs and nods, to which Mark smiles.

 _This boy will be the death of me_ , Donghyuck can't help but think has Renjun leads the two of them to a room on the other side of the basement.

“Don't get too crazy,” Renjun smirks, shutting the door behind him as he leaves.

Donghyuck sighs once the door clicks into place.

He’s now standing a foot away from Mark in the dim lighting of the basment’s guest room that isn’t being used by Sicheng.

It’s Mark who breaks the silence first.

“So,” he says, walking over to the made bed. “Did it hurt?”

Donghyuck frowns, his brow raised as he looks to Mark. “Did what hurt?”

“Your hair,” Mark reiterates, taking a seat on the bed’s mattress, and crossing his legs as much as his pants allow. “Did it hurt when you bleached it?”

“Oh, right,” Donghyuck chuckles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “I’ve done it before so I’m sort of used to it.”

Mark nods, crossing his arms. “I meant what I said before, by the way,” he says, looking up at Donghyuck. “The colour suits you. It looks nice.”

“Thank you,” Donghyuck smiles, trying to smother the excitement he feels in his gut at the compliment. He points to Mark’s dress shirt and fitted pants. “You don’t look too bad yourself. I’m really digging the outfit.”

Mark looks down at his semi formal get-up and laughs. “I have an excuse, okay?” he swears, fixing the collar of his shirt by tightening his bowtie. “We were at a birthday dinner earlier and Lucas wouldn’t let me go home and change before coming.”

Donghyuck hisses, shaking his head. “That doesn’t excuse the bowtie.”

“Hey…” Mark pouts, slowly pushing himself off the mattress. He then grasps the piece of garment once more and says, “Bowties are cool.”

“Was that…” Donghyuck mutters, thoroughly perplexed. “That was _so_ a Doctor Who reference.”

“Yeah,” Mark looks away. “So what?”

“ _You_ watch Doctor Who?”

“Of course I do,” Mark murmurs, crossing his arms.

“Wait,” Donghyuck says, taking a step back. “So you mean to tell me that the captain of the hockey team, Mark Lee, is a _nerd_?”

Mark’s pout deepens. It’s sort of adorable.

“Let me live.”

“This is life-changing information,” Donghyuck raves, walking up to Mark. “Please, tell me more.”

“Not if you’re going to make fun of me,” Mark argues, frowning.

“Listen,” Donghyuck starts, stepping around Mark. He swiftly hops onto the bed and makes himself comfortable on the full set of throw pillows that decorates its surface. Mark looks down at him expectantly. “My alarm clock is an honest to God Dalek and I still sleep in fucking Tardis themed bedsheets. I am in no position to judge.”

“You’re… You’re joking.”

“We don’t joke about Doctor Who.” Donghyuck says seriously, his eyes wide and unblinking. Mark lets out a breathy laugh, watching as Donghyuck pats the space next to him.  “So tell me: who’s your favourite?”

Mark hesitates, tugging at his collar, before shrugging.

“Doctor,” Mark begins, climbing onto the bed. “Or Companion?”

“Both.”

“Eleven’s my favourite Doctor,” Mark explains, pulling a pillow out from underneath his butt. “And Clara’s my favourite companion.”

“Smith, I can see. I had you pinned for a Rose Tyler kind of guy, though.”

“She’s my second favourite,” Mark admits with a shrug. He turns to Donghyuck. “What about you?”

“I’m an Eccleston man,” Donghyuck reveals, shifting to get a clearer view of Mark. “And Amy’s got to be my all time favourite companion. Her adventures are hype and always have me on edge.”

“Tell me about it,” Mark huffs, hiding his face in his hands to cover a pout. “I couldn’t sleep for days after watching that episode with the Angels in the forest.”

“Cute,” Donghyuck coos, poking Mark’s shoulder. “We should marathon the show together someday.”

“Why?” Mark asks upon resurfacing. “So you can watch me get scared shitless?”

Donghyuck shrugs. “Maybe?”

“Don’t mock me,” Mark whines.

“Mock you? I would never,” Donghyuck promises, dramatically bringing his hand to his chest. “I mean it. You’re kind of adorable, Mark. I just want to pinch your cheeks and eat you right up,” he adds, doing just that.

Mark gently pries Donghyuck's fingers away from his cheeks. “Shouldn’t I be saying that about you?” he mutters, scooting away. “You’re younger.”

“Yes,” Donghyuck agrees, tilting his head. “But I’m cooler.”

Mark shrugs. “Debatable.”

“How so?”

“You’re a nerd,” Mark says pointedly.

Donghyuck splutters, his eyes wide. “ _So are you!_ ”

“Fair point,” Mark lets out, his shoulders going up and down as he chuckles lightly. He turns to Donghyuck once more. “You're still cuter, though.”

Donghyuck knows Mark is only teasing, but the exchange itself is enough to leave him red in the cheeks. Or maybe it’s the heat.

Who knows?

“Fine,” Donghyuck groans, clearing his throat. He rolls his eyes for good measure. “We can _both_ be cute, I guess.”

“Thank you,” Mark says, smiling.

“What can I say?” Donghyuck shrugs, looking away. “I’m a bit of a diplomat.”

Mark laughs just as a series of three consecutive knocks come from the door.

“ _Two minutes left,_ ” Renjun calls from the other side.

“Wow,” Mark huffs, shifting slightly. “Time really does fly when you’re having a good time.”

Donghyuck blinks. “You’re actually enjoying this?”

“Well, yeah,” Mark giggles, pushing the pillow in his lap aside. “You’re a cool guy, Hyuck Lee.”

“Even if I didn’t want to kiss you?”

“I can’t hold it against you,” Mark admits with a shrug. “Plus, if you’re, like, straight-”

“ _Who said anything about being straight?_ ” Donghyuck blurts, leaning away from Mark. “I’m offended.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Look, it’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you,” Donghyuck starts, looking away from the older boy. “I thought _you_ wouldn’t want to kiss _me_. But, like, if you’re down….” he trails off, finally gaining the courage to look up at Mark.

Much to Donghyuck’s surprise, Mark shrugs, saying:  “I’m down.”

“Alright, then…” Donghyuck says, clearing his throat. “Let’s…  make out.”

“Let's do it,” Mark nods, pushing himself up and off the mound of pillows.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck breathes. “ _Let’s_.”

At that, Mark crawls from his spot next to Donghyuck in order to relocate _on top of him_. The latter reddens at the newfound proximity.

“You've never done this before, have you?” Mark observes, lowering himself onto the space between Donghyuck’s spread legs.

“It's not that, I just…” Donghyuck hesitates, looking away from Mark’s collarbones peeking through the thin material of his shirt. “Are you sure you're comfortable? Do you want me to be on top instead?”

“ _Hyuck._ ”

Donghyuck swallows thickly. “Yes?”

“Just…” Mark mutters, leaning forward. He places one hand on the bed’s surface for support while the other goes up to cup Donghyuck’s cheek.

Mark doesn’t get to finish his sentence. His lips slowly, but surely, come down onto Donghyuck’s instead, closing what little distance between the two of them remains. And Donghyuck doesn’t mind. Why would he when Mark’s lips are soft — softer than even than the bed on which they lie?

Donghyuck doesn’t want it to end.

Not when the feeling of Mark pressed up so close against him is so overwhelming yet so breathtakingly _electric_ that it renders Donghyuck’s brain incapable of formulating fragments of thoughts coherent enough to make sense of.

For a moment, he forgets where he even is, his mind filled with images of Mark and _only_ Mark.

It gets worse (better?) when Mark gently sweeps his tongue across the expanse of Donghyuck’s lower lip and _bites down_.

“ _Shit,_ ” Donghyuck hisses, his lip trapped between Mark’s teeth, but it comes out more like a shaky whine than anything.

Donghyuck can feel Mark pull away, urging him to open his eyes.

Mark is looking down at him with an apologetic expression. “Sorry-”

“No, keep going,” Donghyuck pleads, pulling Mark closer. He presses an experimental kiss against Mark’s now exposed neck. “Don’t stop,” he says between every kiss. “Don’t fucking stop.”

Mark doesn’t respond. Not with words, at least. He _moans_ , loud and breathy in Donghyuck’s ear as he continues to nibble on the sensitive patch of skin at the base of Mark’s jaw line.

Mark groans, deciding in the moment that he’d rather have Donghyuck be on top. In one swift motion, their positions are reversed.

This time, it’s Donghyuck that pulls away. He looks down at Mark curiously.

“What?” Mark questions, his chest going up and down as he tries to regulate his breathing.

“That was hot,” Donghyuck laughs, leaning forward. He goes in for another kiss, this one shorter and much sweeter than the others had been.

“Thanks,” Mark grins, thumbing at the apple of Donghyuck’s cheek. “Does that mean I’ve upgraded from just being cute?”

Donghyuck scrunches his nose and shakes his head. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Huh,” Mark huffs, pursing his lips. “What can I do to change your mind?”

“Kiss me again,” Donghyuck says, leaning down again. “Consider it your makeup test.”

Mark shrugs. “Will do-”

“ _Hyuck?_ ” Renjun's voice suddenly calls from the other side of the door.

“We're sort of busy playing your stupid game, Renjun,” Donghyuck laughs as Mark begins to lean in again.

“ _Stop whatever you’re doing,_ ” another voice (Jaehyun's) says. “ _I’m coming in._ ”

“Fuck,” Donghyuck curses, untangling himself from Mark’s grasp.

“Hey,” Mark greets, nonchalant as ever, while Renjun steps into the room trailing behind an agitated Jaehyun. Donghyuck rolls away from Mark and onto his back. “What’s going on?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, trying to mask his embarrassment with a cough. “Someone better have died.”

“Take a raincheck, or something,” Jaehyun quips, stopping by the doorway. “We’re going home.”

“Seriously? It’s not even one yet.”

“Look, kid I know you're having _fun_ ,” Jaehyun explains, gesturing towards the bed. The way he emphasizes the word _fun_ has Donghyuck wanting to die a lot sooner than he'd initially planned. “And usually I’m down to party all night, but your brother is pretty much-”

“Wait, Chenle?” Donghyuck growls, shuffling off the bed. “Don’t fucking tell me that the brat showed up….”

“He’s in the bathroom upstairs with that Jisung kid. Probably passed out.”

“You’re joking… Please tell me he’s joking.”

Renjun shakes his head, mouthing _sorry_.

“Fuck… fine,” Donghyuck grunts, rolling his eyes. He turns to Mark, who's now standing on the other side of the bed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Mark shrugs in what Donghyuck hopes is earnest. “Go take care of your brother.”

“I… yeah,” Donghyuck nods, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “See you… whenever.”

“Definitely,” Mark smiles, bringing a hand up to his dark hair. “We can watch Doctor Who when we do, or something.”

“Sure,” Donghyuck smiles sadly, looking away.

“Bye, Mark,” Jaehyun singsongs, throwing his arm over Donghyuck's slouched shoulders. “I’m gonna have a nice long chat with you on Monday.”

“Can't wait,” Mark snorts, shaking his head.

With that, Jaehyun gives Donghyuck one far from gentle shove towards the door. The latter begrudgingly stumbles through the doorway, cursing under his breath.

“I didn't know you and Mark were friends,” Jaehyun notes, matching his pace with Donghyuck's hurried one.

“Barely,” Donghyuck grunts, looking away as they continue down the corridor.

In the distance, Donghyuck can see that the phony game of Seven Minutes in Heaven has ended. The circle of partygoers are now more preoccupied with other things, such as making use of Renjun prized bong; one that Donghyuck still doesn't understand how to use.

It's one of those ridiculous that he'd only ever seen on Tumblr before until that day Renjun brought it back from some sketchy garage sale a few blocks away.

“I don't know about you,” Renjun starts, watching as Jaemin attempts to convince Jeno to shotgun a hit with him. He fails, a flustered Jeno shoving him away. “But the way they were holding each other was _not_ friendly, if you know what I mean.”

Jaehyun stills, halfway up the stairs. He looks down at Renjun and Donghyuck. “Shit, you're right-”

“Can both of you shut your fucking big ass mouths and help me get my dying step-brother into the fucking car?” Donghyuck snaps, giving Renjun’s left calf a well deserved, backhanded smack.

Both Jaehyun and Renjun smirk.

“Whatever you say,” Renjun laughs, following Jaehyun through the doorway.

“Yeah, man,” Jaehyun says over his shoulder. “Whatever you say.”

Donghyuck waits until the army of butterflies in his stomach has mostly disappeared before following after Jaehyun and Renjun in silence.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chenle is fully conscious by the time Jaehyun drops them off, so Donghyuck doesn’t feel bad at all when he delivers what he believes is a well deserved swat to Chenle’s shoulder as they step into the unlit foyer.

“You’re an idiot,” Donghyuck grunts, kicking off his sneakers, before walking into the living room, turning on the light as he moves. “Do you even understand what could happen if my mom were to find out about this?”

Chenle sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Look, don’t apologize to me," Donghyuck snaps, holding his hands up. "You're the one that almost fucking died.”

“I’m… Okay," Chenle says, turning around. "I’m gonna go upstairs.”

“No you're not," Donghyuck retorts, grabbing the back of Chenle's shirt. "Don’t think you can just walk out of here without telling me what the fuck happened back there.”

“I don’t know," Chenle exclaims, shaking his head. "I’m sorry-”

“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know? Do you think this is a joke? That’s it’s cool to be edgy?" Donghyuck laughs, tilting his head. "Newsflash, kid: no one’s gonna think you're edgy or cool when you're dead.”

“Okay.”

Donghyuck sighs. “What’d you take?”

“I told you. I don’t know," Chenle reiterates, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt. "I told the guy I don’t drink and he said he’d hook me up with something non-alcoholic. I thought… I don’t know. Please don’t be mad.”

“So you’re saying you were drugged?” Donghyuck asks, ignoring the plea.

Chenle shrugs, shaking his head.

“You know what,” Donghyuck says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ll talk about this later. Just… go to sleep or something.”

“Okay.”

“And take a glass of water up there with you,” Donghyuck adds. “I'm not about to get in shit for you dying in your sleep.”

 Chenle nods, his eyes looking everywhere but into Donghyuck's, before walking away and towards the kitchen.

Donghyuck doesn't give his body the chance to fully relax until he hears Chenle head up the stairs. He collapses onto the chair closest to him, sighing too loud sigh, and closes his eyes. It doesn’t take long for sleep to wash over him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

They don’t talk about the incident.

Instead, they come to an unspoken agreement to sweep the topic under the rug when Donghyuck’s dad stops by the following afternoon to take them out to lunch at some swanky spot downtown.

“You two look like death,” his dad points out, briefly glancing at Chenle through the rear-view mirror of his Wrangler. “Did something happen?”

“I always look like this,” Donghyuck replies, looking over his shoulder to get a better look at Chenle, who looks away immediately. “I don’t know about him, though.”

“Nothing happened,” Chenle says, twiddling his thumbs.

“You guys think I was born yesterday?” Donghyuck’s dad laughs quietly, turning the key in the ignition. “I was a teenager once. I’ve had my fair share of crazy Saturday nights out.”

“Woah,” Chenle bleats, his eyes wide. “Really?”

Donghyuck’s dad nods.

“How do you think Hyuck was conceived-”

“ _Dad!_ ” Donghyuck cuts in, scandalized.

“Alright, alright,” his father chuckles as he puts the car in reverse. “I’ll drop it.”

“Good,” Donghyuck grunts, leaning against the passenger side window. He closes his eyes, for the early afternoon sunlight is a little too much to bear in that moment. “Thank you.”

His dad lets out a pleased chuckle as the car finally sets off onto the main road and the story of Donghyuck’s accidental conception remains untold.


	5. Oxygen

“Hyuck Lee?”

Donghyuck freezes, his leg hovering above his bike at the sound of the familiar voice. He cranes his neck, squinting in the speaker’s direction.

It’s Mark Lee in all his Foot Locker employee glory, halfway through tearing into a Klondike Bar’s wrapper.

“Mark,” Donghyuck greets, letting his foot hit the ground.

“Hey,” Mark waves. He comes out from under the mini mart’s awning and steps closer to Donghyuck, whose grip on his bike’s handlebars tightens. “What’s up?”

“Why do we keep running into each other?” Donghyuck blurts. Mark pauses, his work lanyard gently swaying against his abdomen. “Are you stalking me?”

“You got me,” Mark laughs, bringing his empty hand to his chest.

“I’ll have you know that my mom’s a lawyer,” Donghyuck continues, eyeing Mark as he carefully rips his wrapper open with his teeth. “I could have you jailed for this.”

“Are you sure that’s something you want?” Mark teases, his voice lowered to a steady whisper.

Mark bites into the frozen treat, his eyes not once leaving Donghyuck’s.

“I guess not,” Donghyuck gulps, breaking away from Mark’s intense gaze. “What are you doing here anyway?” he asks, changing the subject.

“I live by here,” Mark explains once he’s finished chewing.

“Word?” Donghyuck says, genuinely surprised. “How come I never see you around?”

“You’d have to actually leave your house in order to see me,” Mark shrugs, his eyes dancing with something akin to mischief.

“ _Hey,_ ” Donghyuck warns, frowning.

“I’m just playing,” Mark laughs, peeling the wrapper further down the treat’s length. “Oh yeah— How’s your brother?”

“Alive,” Donghuck grunts, finally kicking down his bike’s stand, and crosses his arms. “Unfortunately.”

“That’s good,” Mark beams. “I think?”

“To you,” Donghyuck counters. Mark snorts, shaking his head as he brings the Klondike Bar to his mouth once more. “Sorry for being like… _this_. It’s too early for small talk.”

“It’s three in the afternoon,” Mark points out around a mouthful of ice cream.

Donghyuck blinks.

“Your point?”

“Hyuck,” Mark starts, his tone serious enough to send a wave of shivers down Donghyuck’s spine. “What do you do at home all day?”

“Honestly? Not much,” Donghyuck admits sheepishly. “Of anything. Why?”

Mark nods slowly, processing Donghyuck’s words as he takes yet another bite of his frozen treat.

“So you're free?” he then asks after a moment of silence. Donghyuck narrows his eyes. “For the rest of the day, I mean.”

“ _Why?_ ”

“Answer my question,” Mark pleads, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Yes, Mark. I _am_ free,” Donghyuck shoots, throwing his hands up. “All bums are. It’s sort of a given, don’t you think?”

“You’re funny,” Mark giggles.

“Thanks, I try,” Donghyuck says, feigning indifference. In reality, something deep inside him jolts, leaving Donghyuck hyperaware of every one of his movements. “Now what’s with all the questions?”

“Hang out with me,” Mark says, bringing the last bit of the snack up to his lips.

“Uh…” Donghyuck stammers, watching as Mark chews away.

“I’ll buy you real food,” Mark continues. “ _And_ we could watch Doctor Who like you said you wanted at Renjun’s.”

“Fine,” Donghyuck sighs. “I’m doing it for the food, though. Not you.”

“Alright,” Mark says, playing along. “But you won’t be saying that by the end of the night. I promise.”

“ _And he's an optimist._ ”

“We’re going to have fun!” Mark protests.

“Okay… But if we don’t,” Donghyuck adds, walking closer to Mark (which later proves to be a mistake because Mark is broad and smells _good_ ). He gently flicks Mark’s name tag for good measure. “You owe me twenty bucks.”

“Okay,” Mark shrugs, balling up the finished wrapper. He tosses it over his shoulder without watching. It falls into the trash bin set to the side of the mart’s entrance. Donghyuck gapes. “It's a bet.”

“Can't wait to be twenty dollars richer,” Donghyuck mutters, taking a step back from Mark.

With his back turned, Donghyuck doesn’t catch the way Mark rolls his eyes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hey Mark?” Donghyuck begins, peeling his eyes away from the tv screen. Mark hums in acknowledgment, prompting him to continue. Donghyuck clears his throat before continuing. “No offense, but this is literally the worst episode of Doctor Who I’ve ever seen.”

Mark blinks a few times, processing Donghyuck’s words.

“Wait,” Mark mutters, his eyes narrowing as he turns to face Donghyuck. “You’re serious?”

Donghyuck smiles wryly. “Yes.”

“But… it’s my favourite,” Mark pouts, to which Donghyuck only shrugs in response. “Okay, fine.”

“I’m sorry?” Donghyuck tries, his hand instinctively going to Mark’s thigh, patting it reassuringly.

Mark looks down at Donghyuck’s hand and smiles softly.

“It’s cool,” Mark says, looking back up at Donghyuck. “Anything else you’d like to do then? Something fun by your standards?”

“My mind is drawing blanks here,” Donghyuck admits, retracting his hand. “You may as well give me that twenty right now-”

“I will do no such thing,” Mark cuts in, holding up his finger. Donghyuck snorts in response, rolling his eyes. “I said we’d have fun, so we’re going to have fun!”

“Okay,” Donghyuck chuckles.

“We could, uh…” Mark starts, scratching the back of his head. Donghyuck can almost see the gears working away in Mark’s brain as he thinks.

It’s endearing. Sort of.

“Your bucket list!” Mark exclaims not long after, snapping Donghyuck out of whatever trance he’d been in.

“W-what about it?” Donghyuck stammers, grimacing.

“We could cross out some of your goals,” Mark continues, rubbing his hands excitedly, as if the thought of Donghyuck stupid list alone is the most entertaining thing to have ever crossed his mind. “That’s fun, right?”

“Right,” Donghyuck laughs, mentally going over The List’s contents.

It’s in that very moment that Donghyuck remembers number eleven on The List. He reddens, immediately, thinking of how it’d felt to finally cross it off with a bright pink gel pen a few nights ago.

“Do you have it on you?” Mark asks, bringing Donghyuck back to reality.

“Uh yeah,” Donghyuck clears his throat, taking out his phone. “Jaemin makes me keep it in my phone case.”

Donghyuck pulls out the folded piece of paper and tentatively hands it over to Mark.

“Let’s see if there’s anything on it I can help you with,” Mark says, his tone eager and Donghyuck gets to see in real time as his face goes from _Hell yeah, bucket list!_ to _Hyuck, everything okay at home?_ “Oh wow… Swimming with sharks?”

“I have big dreams,” Donghyuck shrugs, picking at his nails.

Donghyuck knows it’s gross, but he’ll do anything to keep himself from thinking too much about what Mark thinks about him.

“Expensive dreams,” Mark laughs, looking up from The List.

“You know…” Donghyuck says, letting his hands fall into his lap. “I won’t hold it against you if you change your mind about helping.”

“Why?” Mark frowns. “Is it because of the twenty-”

“No… I mean…” Donghyuck stammers, shaking his head. “Fuck I don’t know why I’m telling you this because it’s fucking stupid and embarrassing—”

“ _Hyuck_.”

Donghyuck sighs, shifting on the couch in order to properly face Mark. “You kind of already helped me with one without realizing it.”

“I-I did?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says quietly, gesturing towards the crumpled piece of paper. “It’s, uh, number eleven.”

“Wait,” Mark says, looking back down at the page. His eyes widen. “You mean my _mom_ —”

“ _No!_ ” Donghyuck says quickly, his hands going up in defense. “I meant _you_. At Renjun’s… It was Jeno’s idea to switch it around.”

“I can see that,” Mark mutters, probably eyeing Jeno’s messy redactions.

“That way,” Donghyuck continues. “It’d be more attainable and, you know, less home-wrecking.”

Mark looks up. “I kinda feel used,” he says, scratching the back of his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Mark laughs, poking Donghyuck’s exposed knee. “Did you enjoy it, at least?”

“I mean, you have nice lips?” Donghyuck laughs nervously, trying his best to put on an indifferent front. “And you’re a _decent_ kisser. So it wasn’t exactly terrible, you know?”

It’s an understatement, Donghyuck knows, for the kiss was easily the best he’s _ever_ had. In fact, the drunken kisses he’s shared with Jaemin in the past only pale in comparison to those short seven minutes in Renjun’s basement.

But, as always, it’s easier for Donghyuck to joke around than to face his feelings head on.

“Decent?” Mark repeats, taken aback. Donghyuck shrugs, a shit eating grin toying at the edges of his mouth. “I am many things, but decent is not one of them.”

 _Damn right_ , Donghyuck thinks, his mind briefly flashing back to their very heated makeout session.

“Sure,” is what he actually ends up saying.

“I think,” Mark starts, his tone suddenly serious. “I think we should do it again. This way you’ll get to feel my true potential.”

Donghyuck swallows thickly, his eyes wide. “What are you even talking about….” he lets out shakily, leaning away from Mark.

“Wait here,” Mark says in response, pushing himself off the couch. “I have an idea.”

“That can’t be good,” Donghyuck jokes, looking up at Mark as he backs out of the living room.

“Shut up,” Mark smiles, rounding the corner that leads to the hallway. “You’ll love it.”

In the blink of an eye, Mark is gone, leaving Donghyuck alone to finally process whatever the hell it is that’s going on.

“ _What the fuck_ ,” he says to himself, his eyes going wide as the anticipation finally settles at the pit of his stomach. He runs his hands over his face, only to find that his cheeks are warm to the touch— warmer than what should be considered normal.

Donghyuck can hear Mark darting up the stairs and sighs, figuring he has at least a minute or two to compose himself.

Starting with his breath.

They'd literally _just_ eaten Wendy’s and Donghyuck sure as hell wouldn't have gotten onions on his burger if he had known that he would be kissing someone today.

“Fuck my life,” Donghyuck groans, reaching for what remains of his orange soda. He takes a long sip from his straw before swishing the liquid around his mouth, hoping to rid it of the taste of onion.

He doesn't smell anything when he does a quick breath test against his hand so he guesses it worked and sits back on the couch.

Donghyuck places his hands in his lap, tightly lacing them together as a means to keep himself from picking at his nails again, and _waits_.

It’s almost painful, Donghyuck thinks, sitting in the silent living room on his own as Mark does God-knows-what upstairs.

 _Be patient, you little fuck_ , he hears in his head and it sounds a little too much like Jungwoo for his liking, so Donghyuck gives his right cheek a sharp hit before letting out a quick and encouraging, “I fucking got this. I'm going to be okay.”

Donghyuck can hear Mark make his way down the stairs before he can see him, for with his entrance comes a cacophony of crashes and thuds that Donghyuck can't quite decipher.

Not until Mark reaches the archway that leads to the living room.

“You're fucking joking.”

“Does it look like I'm joking?” Mark laughs.

 _No_ , Donghyuck thinks, _it really doesn't_.

Right now, Mark is dressed head to toe in a fucking _space suit_.

“How?” Donghyuck asks, eyes wide. “Why?”

“The suit’s defective so they let my mom keep it,” Mark explains, unfastening the suit’s helmet. Donghyuck can now very clearly see the growing smirk on Mark’s lips. “Plus, you said you wanted to make out with an astronaut… And I promised you a good time, so here we are.”

“Here we are….” Donghyuck repeats quietly, watching as Mark sets the helmet down onto the coffee table.

“Come here,” Mark says, beckoning Donghyuck forward once his hands are free.

“Okay,” Donghyuck croaks in response, taking a tentative forward. Mark is grinning at this point, his (ridiculously nice) teeth on full display. It leaves Donghyuck feeling a little (read: very) weak in the knees. He clears his throat. “Let's do it. Round two. Space suit edition-”

“You nervous?” Mark laughs, taking Donghyuck’s hands once he's within reach, and gently pulls him closer.

Donghyuck blinks, looking down at their linked hands and snorts. “What the hell? No.”

“You sure?” Mark teases, his hands going up to cup Donghyuck’s face. “Your hands are sweaty.”

“F-just kiss me, you asshole.”

Mark shrugs before leaning in, his eyes fluttering closed. Donghyuck does the same, his arms going limp at his sides as their lips finally come together in a slow, tentative kiss.

Donghyuck didn't think it possible, but Mark is an even better kisser now that they're both sober. Or maybe Donghyuck just has a thing for space suits.

Either way, Donghyuck isn't complaining. Especially not when Mark begins to gently lead them towards the couch.

“This okay?” Mark asks, pulling away for a moment.

Donghyuck nods with vigour, lacing his arms around Mark’s neck. “Of course.”

Mark grins, connecting their lips once more, only this time it's done with more certainty than the last.

Donghyuck can feel one of Mark’s hands disappear from his face as he eases himself onto the couch.

Donghyuck can't help but laugh at the way the suit bunched up beneath him once he's settled on Mark’s lap.

“Cute,” Donghyuck says against Mark’s lips, before leaving a trail of kisses down his jawline.

“This is harder than I thought it'd be,” Mark admits, panting slightly. Donghyuck lightly grazes his teeth against the sensitive patch of skin on Mark’s exposed neck before looking up curiously. “Don't stop though.”

Donghyuck smirks, overcome with confidence and certainty, bringing his lips down onto Mark’s. The latter lets out a moan of satisfaction, his mouth falling open by a fraction, allowing for the kiss to deepen.

Donghyuck can feel Mark’s hands travel down to grab ahold of his butt, squeezing slightly in the process.

Donghyuck can’t help but let out a small yelp, surprise taking over his initial excitement.

“Too much?”

“No, I was just surprised,” Donghyuck admits, bringing a hand down to caress Mark’s cheek. “Didn’t take you for a butt kinda guy.”

“Only cute butts,” Mark shrugs. His attempt at a cool demeanor is betrayed by the small smile that creeps upon his face. “I’m sorry that was _cheesy_.”

“You’re so cute,” Donghyuck laughs, trying had not to coo too much at the way the tips of Mark’s ears redden. Donghyuck tilt’s Mark’s chin upward with his thumb and forefinger before capturing his lips in a quick kiss. “Mark, you’re fucking adorable.”

Mark hums in satisfaction, smiling into the kiss, and, truthfully, Donghyuck wouldn’t mind staying this way forever.

Mark is soft and warm to the touch, in a way that Donghyuck never would have expected before the start of their unlikely friendship (if he can even call it that.)

It’s weird and unexpected, but that’s nothing Donghyuck isn’t used to.

So really, Donghyuck can’t exactly say that he’s surprised with what happens next.

One second, the two boys are kissing in the silence of the living room, without a care in the world. The next, the sound of the front door unlocking can be heard, causing both boys to freeze.

Donghyuck pulls away, slowly opening his eyes.

“Oh God,” Mark grimaces, looking towards the hallway. “It’s my dad.”

“Shit,” Donghyuck curses, pushing himself out of Mark’s lap. He stands, frantically fixing his top wrinkled top. “ _Fuck_.”

“Don’t swear,” Mark hisses, struggling to do the same. From where he stands, it’s obvious to Donghyuck that the suit is restricting Mark’s movements, which would be funny if he weren’t somewhat scared of getting kicked out by Mr Lee. “He might hear you.”

“Fuck sorry,” Donghyuck lets out, helping Mark up. The latter’s panicked expression only grows stronger when Donghyuck says: “But wait— the space suit.”

Mark blinks, looking down at the suit in question, and grits his teeth. “ _Fuck,_ ” he bleats, tugging at one of the sleeves.

“ _Mark? Are you home?_ ”

“In the living room!” Mark calls, his voice shaky. Donghyuck can only watch as Mark begins to fumble with the suit’s fastenings, to no avail. “ _Fuck my life_ ,” Mark groans quietly, waving Donghyuck’s silent offer for help.

“Hey, kid-” Mark’s dad cuts himself off, eyeing the two once he’s completely stepped into the room. “Who’s this?”

“Uh, Dad… this is Hyuck,” Mark says, no longer attempting to remove the suit, and gestures towards Donghyuck, who puts on his best and most respectable smile. “Hyuck Lee.”

Mark’s dad narrows his eyes and for a seconds Donghyuck thinks he’s doomed.

“Hyuck Lee? That sounds familiar,” Mark dad wonders aloud, crossing his arms. They’re muscular, enough that Donghyuck thinks the guy could take on the likes of Monsta X’s Wonho in a fair match. “Wait… Little DJ? Bora’s kid!”

“Haven’t heard that name in years,” Donghyuck laughs, awkwardly running a hand over his hair. “But, yeah that’s me.”

Mark snorts. “DJ?”

“Donghyuck James,” Donghyuck says in response.

“That’s-”

“Shut up,” Donghyuck hisses, pushing past Mark to shake his father’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr Lee.”

“You as well,” Mark’s dad says, taking Donghyuck’s hand. “And, please, call me Greg.”

“Oh, okay,” Donghyuck smiles, glancing over at Mark. “Greg.”

“This is uncomfortable,” Mark says, suddenly taking Donghyuck by the arm. Donghyuck curiously looks down at Mark’s hand as it circles around his forearm. “We’re leaving.”

“Not with that suit, you aren’t,” _Greg_ challenges, nodding at Mark’s get up.

Mark blanches for a moment before letting out an awkward laugh. “Oh right,” he mutters, his grip around Donghyuck’s wrist going slack. Mark pulls his hand away, clearing his throat. “I forgot.”

For the first time since walking into the living room, Greg takes a good look at his surroundings; from the Wendy’s wrappers scattered across the coffee table’s surface to the slightly crushed throw pillows on the couch Donghyuck and Mark had just finished _making out on_.

“Do I want to know?”

Mark looks back at Donghyuck before facing his father, uttering a quick: “ _Nope._ ”

“Alright I believe you,” Greg says, fixing his cap. “Just… put the suit away before you go, okay?”

“Got you.”

Greg turns to Donghyuck. “Tell Bora I say hello when she’s back,” he says before disappearing around the corner.

Neither of the two boys speak until Greg’s footsteps as he climbs the creaky wooden staircase have faded away.

“He seems cool,” Donghyuck lets out, falling back onto the couch with a sigh.

And it’s true. Mark’s dad seemed rather youthful and regal in a quiet way that sort of made sense considering the fact that he _is_ Mark’s dad.

 _It must run in the family_ , Donghyuck thinks, commiting the sharp lines of Mark’s face to memory. They’re almost identical to his father’s, albeit much softer and boyish.

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Mark grunts, finally succeeding in undoing the front of the space suit. He begins to slip out of it, starting with his left arm as he speaks. “Or else he won’t let me hear the end of it,” Mark continues, kicking off what’s left of the suit. “ _Hey, Mark. Remember when your friend said I was cool? Doesn’t matter ‘cause I’m gonna tell you about it anyway!_ ”

“I know the truth can be a little hard to swallow, but-”

“Shut up and help me put this suit away.”

Donghyuck bites back a laugh and nods, reaching for the suit’s helmet.

“Aye aye, Captain!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Later, Donghyuck is watching as Mark sets his bike onto the Lee-Zhong household’s driveway with ease.

“So,” Mark starts, bringing his trunk to a close once the bike is in Donghyuck’s hands. “Did you have fun?”

“I… yeah,” Donghyuck admits, fiddling with the bike’s handlebars. “I think so.”

“So I get to keep my twenty?”

“Yes,” Donghyuck snorts. “You may keep your twenty.”

“Cool!” Mark exclaims, beaming and Donghyuck has to look away, taken aback by his enthusiasm. “Oh, and for the record… I had fun too.”

Donghyuck blinks, quirking a brow at Mark’s words. “You’re not, like… fucking with me, are you?”

Mark shakes his head, brows knit. “Of course not.”

“Oh… okay,” Donghyuck says quietly, nodding. “That’s awesome, I guess?”

“It is,” Mark agrees, mirroring the gesture. “And, like, if you ever want to hangout again, just let me know.”

“I will,” Donghyuck assures, quirking a small smile. “Oh, but… I don’t have your number.”

“Shit, you’re right,” Mark hisses, before extending a hand in Donghyuck’s direction. “Here, give me your phone.”

Donghyuck pulls the device out of the front pocket of his shorts and unlocks it before carefully placing it into Mark’s outstretched hand. He watches as the latter punches his information into the keyboard with agile fingers.

“And now you have my number,” Mark smiles, returning the device.

“Thank you,” Donghyuck replies, quickly stuffing the phone back into his pocket.

“Dude, it’s no problem,” Mark laughs, leaning against his car. “I swear.”

“I believe you,” Donghyuck shrugs, because in all honesty, it’s not like Mark has given him a reason to doubt him anyway. With that, Donghyuck straightens, readying his bike for the journey up the remainder of the driveway. “Have a good night, Mark.”

Mark smirks. “You too, DJ.”

 _Never—fucking—mind_.

“You are _never_ gonna let that go, are you?”

“Never ever,” Mark confirms, pushing himself off his car. He sets off for the front of his car, jingles his keys in Donghyuck’s face as he waves. “See ya.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. He doesn’t stick around long enough to see Mark drive away.


	6. Extremis

Donghyuck isn't a fan of brunch. Or rather, he isn't the biggest fan of the people he's expected to get along with every time he goes to brunch with his dad.

Right now, Donghyuck is sitting at a table on some restaurant’s patio even swankier than the last, lazily poking at a poached egg with the silver fork in his left hand as he tries to tune out the conversation playing out next to him.

Seated to Donghyuck’s left is Chenle, who’s currently chatting away with Danny— the boyfriend— about some English project he's been working on in summer school that Donghyuck doesn't care enough about to give his two cents on.

Danny seems rather interested, something Donghyuck thinks could have something to do with the fact that he's an English professor at the university a few towns over. That, or he's just _really_ good at pretending he cares about anything Chenle has to say.

Either way, Donghyuck doesn't give a shit and would rather be at home sleeping, or maybe even doing fuck all with his friends like they'd been talking about in their group chat for the past couple of days.

Jaemin had found a haunted site for the group to scope out for Donghyuck’s bucket list, and as terrified as he is of the supernatural, Donghyuck would honestly prefer spending the afternoon surrounded by angry spirits than the likes of Chenle and Danny.

 _Anywhere_ would be better than _here_.

But Donghyuck’s dad, who isn't even there (“I'll be back in ten minutes, I promise.”), would probably tear him a new one for ruining a sunny Friday afternoon with his teenage angst or something along those lines.

“It's not angst if I'm fucking depressed,” Donghyuck finds himself muttering over the rim of the champagne flute in his right hand.

“What was that?”

Donghyuck stills, looking up from his plate. Both Danny and Chenle have paused their conversation in favour of starting Dongyuck down, curiosity painting their faces.

Donghyuck clears his throat, uncomfortable with the sudden attention. “I said this virgin mimosa is delicious,” he lies, raising his glass for good measure.

“Right,” Danny says, shifting in his seat before going back to his meal, unlike Chenle who absolutely refuses to look away.

“What?” Donghyuck snaps, letting his fork clatter onto the ceramic plate before him. It pierces the poached egg in the process, half-cooked yolk mixing with the light yellow hollandaise sauce that takes up most of the plate.

“You said virgin mimosa…” Chenle says, biting back a smile. “Isn't that just orange juice?”

Danny covers a laugh with the _fakest_  cough Donghyuck has ever heard in all his 17 years of living.

“Shut the fuck up, Chenle!” Donghyuck hisses, his grip around the flute’s stem tightening. “I could literally kick your ass if I wanted to, which I do. So watch it.”

“Alright,” Chenle pouts, slouching in his seat.

A stifling silence falls over the table and stays until Donghyuck’s dad returns from God knows where.

“I’m back,” he says, plopping into his his seat next to Danny with a huff. “Sorry I took so long. Traffic was a nightmare.”

“Where’d you even go?” Donghyuck wonders, his tone slightly accusatory.

“Train station. I had to get _him_ ,” his father explains, pointing over Donghyuck’s shoulder with a butter knife.

Donghyuck frowns, curiosity taking over as he swivels in his chair to get a better look at this mystery person.

“ _Jungwoo_?”

“ _DJ_ ,” Jungwoo exclaims, taking the empty seat next to Chenle, who seems fairly unbothered by his presence. Donghyuck wishes he could relate. “Did you miss me?”

Donghyuck almost laughs, but doesn't because even as laughable as the entire situation may be, it makes him more furious than anything.

Why would he miss Jungwoo, of all people?

Jungwoo, who terrorized him relentlessly throughout his entire childhood.

Jungwoo, whose last words to Donghyuck before heading off to Korea last fall were “Don't bother calling me, or anything because I definitely won't pick up.”

As if Donghyuck would ever call him. He'd rather die than call Jungwoo.

Hell, he'd rather die than have to sit at brunch with him.

“ _Fuck no_ ,” is what Donghyuck ends up saying through gritted teeth.

“Language,” his father warns, tiredly pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Dad,” Donghyuck pleads, his voice laced with annoyance. “What the _f-hell_ is he doing here? Shouldn't he be in Korea?”

“Well, clearly I'm not in Korea.” Jungwoo says, reaching over Chenle’s plate to swipe Donghyuck’s half-empty ‘virgin mimosa’.

“ _Why?_ ” Donghyuck cries, watching as Jungwoo takes a sip of _his_ drink.

“Because,” Jungwoo starts, frowning at the flute’s contents. Probably because there isn’t any alcohol in it, Donghyuck thinks. “I’m joining you for brunch.”

“No one fucking wants you here.”

“I’m sure I’m wanted here,” Jungwoo says, setting down the glass. He crosses his arms, giving Chenle a gentle nudge. “Right boys?”

“No comment,” Danny says, while Chenle only shrugs.

“See? It’s fine,” Jungwoo smirks, clasping his hands together. “So quit whining and eat your toast kiddo.”

“Fuck you-”

“ _Hyuck_ ,” his father warns. Again.

“He started it,” Donghyuck huffs, resisting the urge to throw something in Jungwoo’s direction.

Donghyuck’s dad sighs, looking up at the sky. “Jungwoo-”

“All I did was breathe!” Jungwoo laughs incredulously, his hands held up in defense.

“And it made me lose my appetite,” Donghyuck says. He looks to his dad impatiently. “Now, can I go home?”

His dad sighs. “No.”

“Alright, then can _he_ leave?”

“No, you’re both staying and we’re going to have a good fucking time,” his father says, tone clipped and face serious. Donghyuck bites back a protest. “So please… be civil.”

“Sam, you know me. I can be civil. It’s DJ you need to worry about.”

“I- _fine_ ,” Donghyuck grunts, rolling his eyes. “I’ll behave.”

“Good. Now, finish your food,” his dad says, pointing the mess on Donghyuck’s plate. “I’m not paying all this money for you to let it go to waste.”

“Yeah, DJ,” Jungwoo smiles. Donghyuck wants him dead. “Eat your food.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“My dad’s gone,” Donghyuck says, watching as his dad’s car disappears around the corner, on its way to drop Chenle off at his dentist appointment. Jungwoo hums in acknowledgment. “You can stop pretending to be nice, now.”

“Who said anything about pretending?” Jungwoo smirks, nudging Donghyuck’s shoulder. “I missed my little, DJ.”

Donghyuck stops in his tracks.

It’s obvious that Jungwoo is lying, and as much as the fact that he would joke about such a thing doesn’t surprise Donghyuck, it _does_ bother him. More than he feels comfortable admitting.

Jungwoo doesn’t like Donghyuck and it’s something that guy has never been afraid to voice.

Ever.

“Well,” Donghyuck starts, absentmindedly kicking at the ground. Jungwoo looks over his shoulder, somewhat curiously. “DJ didn’t fucking miss you.”

“Right.”

“And you know I go by Hyuck, now.”

Jungwoo shrugs. “Okay, DJ.”

“I… _really_ can’t fucking stand you,” Donghyuck scoffs, angrily walking over to where Jungwoo stands in the middle of the driveway. “Why are you even here?”

It’s a fair question, Donghyuck thinks. Jungwoo _should_ be somewhere in Seoul, working part time as a cashier in his grandparents’ store for the summer. Not here on North American soil, doing his best to make Donghyuck's pathetic life more miserable than it already is.

Jungwoo’s voice is grim when he says: “Korea fucking sucks, man.”

Donghyuck blinks. He's never been, so there's not much he can think to say.

“Oh…” is what Donghyuck _does_ ends up saying. He scratches the back of his head, and it hits him that Jungwoo has yet to comment on the fluorescent orange beanie that sits comfortably on his head. Weird. “That… sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm… You don't think that maybe you’re just, you know… whitewashed?”

“Says fucking you,” Jungwoo scowls, giving Donghyuck's shoulder a shove.

“Look, I’m just saying,” Donghyuck hisses, rubbing the sore spot with his hand. “Sometimes people just aren’t cut out for life in the motherland. Some people being you. Adam Jungwoo Kim-”

“I get it, you little shit,” Jungwoo snaps. “And don’t be running your mouth like that when everyone knows my Korean is better than yours will ever be.”

“I can’t fucking-”

“Stand me,” Jungwoo sighs, finishing Donghyuck’s sentence. “I know.”

Donghyuck looks down at his hands. His fists are balled in frustration, clenched so tight that he could break the skin beneath his nails if he really wanted to. He hates it— hates the amount of power that Jungwoo continues to have over him to this very day.

“Don’t look so disturbed,” Jungwoo suddenly says, urging Donghyuck to look up. When he does, he can see the forced smile that has found its new home on Jungwoo’s face. “Someone’s looking.”

Donghyuck blinks in confusion. “Huh-”

“ _Yo, Hyuck Lee_!”

“Fuck,” Donghyuck curses, flinching at the familiar timbre of Mark’s voice. He ignores the curious raise of Jungwoo’s eyebrow in favour of facing Mark as he brings his skateboard to a stop in front of Donghyuck’s house. “Hey.”

“Who’s this?” Jungwoo asks, way louder than necessary.

“Uh…” Donghyuck stammers, hesitant to introduce someone as cold-hearted as Jungwoo to Mark. “This is Mark,” he says, waving Mark forward. Donghyuck then points to Jungwoo. “Mark, this is my-”

“Jungwoo. I’m his uncle,” Jungwoo says, pushing past Donghyuck with his hand held out in Mark’s direction.

“Uncle?” Mark gapes, looking Jungwoo up and down, his eyes wider than anything Donghyuck has ever seen. “You don’t look a day over twenty.”

“That’s because he isn’t,” Donghyuck sighs, pushing Jungwoo aside. Mark’s jaw drops. “It’s a long story.”

“Okay, I respect that.” Mark nods, finally taking Jungwoo’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Jungwoo.”

“Please,” Jungwoo says, cracking a smile. Donghyuck feels nauseous. “The pleasure is all mine.”

“Yeah?” Mark giggles, though not even that can distract Donghyuck from the fact that he and Jungwoo are _still_ shaking hands.

Then Mark frowns, retracting his hand. Donghyuck has to hold back a snort.

“Wait…” Mark mutters, tilting his head to the side. Jungwoo seems unfazed. If anything, he seems to be enjoying this whole exchange a little too much. “Didn’t you go to Banting?”

“I did,” Jungwoo confirms, straightening his posture. “Class of ‘16.”

“Shit, I _knew_ you looked familiar.”

“Really?” Jungwoo muses, taking a step closer to Mark.

“Yeah, I mean…” Mark shrugs, tugging at the collar of his Foot Locker top. “Your face is kind of hard to forget.”

Donghyuck lets out a sound of disgust that he covers with a cough.

“Thank you, Mark,” Jungwoo smiles, eyeing Donghyuck out of the corner of his vision. “That’s sweet of you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Donghyuck groans, finally getting a chance to speak. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Actually, I do!” Jungwoo admits, before lowering his voice to a whisper that (hopefully) only Donghyuck can hear. “Jaehyun owes me a gram.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Of course he does.”

“Goodbye, Mark.” Jungwoo says, ultimately ignoring Donghyuck's snide remark. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t,” Mark smiles, shaking Jungwoo’s hand _again_. “See ya, man.”

“Were you…” Donghyuck starts, once Jungwoo is out of earshot. “Were you flirting with my uncle?”

Mark laughs. “To be fair, he’s only a year older than me.”

“Gross,” Donghyuck exaggerates.

“ _I’m kidding_ ,” Mark promises, playfully tugging at Donghyuck’s sleeve. “I only have eyes for you if that’s what you want to hear.”

“Why would I want to hear that?” Donghyuck shoots back, swallowing thickly.

Mark smiles. “Hurtful,” he jokes, (finally) letting go of Donghyuck’s sleeve. Donghyuck shrugs. “Anyway, so what are you up to today?”

“Ghost hunting with the boys,” Donghyuck reveals, fiddling with the hemming of his hoodie. “It’s number four on The List.”

“That sounds like fun,” Mark muses, his eyes set ablaze with enthusiasm.

It’s cute.

“You can, like, join if you want,” Donghyuck says quietly, clearing his throat.

“I would love to,” Mark says, his tone apologetic. “But I was actually on my way to work. I got stuck with the closing shift.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck nods. “Maybe next time?”

“Of course! I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

“You will?”

“I kinda think I have something in mind,” Mark chuckles. “Are you free later tonight?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck says, trying hard not to pout. “My mom’s coming back from Macau later, and I don’t know what kind of mood she’ll be in after that long a flight.”

“That’s fair…” Mark mumbles, scratching the top of his head. “Just let me know, I guess. I finish work at ten thirty.”

“I’ll text you before then,” Donghyuck swears, plastering on a smile. “Now go. Don’t be late for work because of me.”

“Okay,” Mark laughs, placing a foot on his board. “Don’t die while ghost hunting.”

“I’ll try my best,” Donghyuck snorts. “Have fun at work.”

“I, too, will try my best. See you later.”

With that, Mark sets off, maneuvering his skateboard onto the sidewalk once more with an effortless push.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“So…” Donghyuck says, almost tripping over the broken remnants of a wooden chair. “This is where those murders happened, huh?”

 _This_ being an old steel factory in the city’s industrial sector that closed down twenty five years ago after its owner was tried and convicted for the killing and dismembering of 9 young women from the surrounding area. Rumour has it that the ghosts of those women could often be heard wailing, their last moments on loop for all of eternity.

Donghyuck gulps, the thought alone chilling him to the bone. He shivers, turning to his friends.

Renjun isn't too far behind, while Jaemin and Jeno are standing beneath the doorway that separates the old break room from the factory itself.

“I guess it is,” Renjun breathes, sliding his finger through the thick layer of dust that covers a fried fuse box. “You scared?”

“The fuck?” Donghyuck snorts and it's all false bravado. “No.”

“ _Right_ ,” Jeno drawls.

“Shut up,” Donghyuck shoots back. “You literally haven’t let go of Jaemin’s arm since we pulled up.”

“Hyuck’s right,” Jaemin laughs, gesturing at his upper arm with his free hand. Jeno’s hands are clasped around his bicep in a vice like hold. “It’s cutting off my circulation.”

“Sorry,” Jeno says, loosening his grip.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” Jaemin teases, running his fingers through Jeno’s hair.

“You’re a fucking weirdo, you know that?” Jeno splutters, batting Jaemin’s hand away before walking off.

The other three watch as his figure disappears into the haziness of the factory’s unlit corridors.

“And that,” Jaemin chirps, clasping his hands together. “Is how you get Jeno to stop being a piss baby.”

“Jaem…” Donghyuck says, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. “You’re kind of a genius.”

“That’s a first,” Renjun jokes, nudging Donghyuck’s side.

“I’m going to ignore that comment, Renjun.” Jaemin says, his smile unwavering. “But thanks, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Anytime, sexy.”

Jaemin raises a brow, his mouth twitching slightly as he holds back a laugh.

“I’m gonna keep an eye on Jeno and make sure his soul doesn’t get snatched,” he says, jutting his chin in Jeno’s direction.

“Sounds good.”

“ _Anytime sexy_.” Renjun echoes, leading Donghyuck away from an industrial drill. “I thought you were over that.”

“I am,” Donghyuck promises, and it’s true. He got over his crush on Jaemin _years_ ago. “I guess oncoming death is making me nostalgic, or some shit.”

“Oncoming death? You really believe that?”

“People died here, Renjun.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s haunted,” Renjun shrugs, looking up. Donghyuck does the same, but his eyes are met with absolute darkness. It’s then that sound of metal grinding against metal can be heard in the distance, though it sounds more like a shrill _human_ cry than anything. Renjun stills. “Okay… maybe it _is_ haunted.”

“Fuck,” Donghyuck curses, sticking closer to Renjun as they walk deeper into the factory. “I can’t believe I’m gonna die a virgin.”

“Speak for yourself…” Renjun mutters absentmindedly. Donghyuck’s eyes widen. “Virginity is a social construct, you freak,” he adds when Donghyuck doesn’t speak.

“I didn’t say anything,” Donghyuck yelps.

“Yeah, but you were thinking it,” Renjun quips, the volume of his voice increasing with every word.

“Let me live,” Donghyuck cries, but only because he _swears_ he felt something grab his foot.

“ _Tell that to the fucking ghosts, Hyuck._ ”

“Fuck it,” Donghyuck exclaims, no longer able to handle the eerie atmosphere that surrounds him. He begins to back away from Renjun, heading for the factory’s exit. “I’m going home!”

“Don’t leave me!” Renjun whimpers. “Hyuck!”

“Wait? They’re leaving?” Donghyuck can hear Jeno ask somewhere further down the corridor. “Fucking assholes, don’t leave me here!”

“What about me?”

It’s Jaemin.

“Fuck you,” is Jeno’s response and Donghyuck can almost hear the despair in the boy's voice. It’d probably funny if he weren’t hysterical as well. “Fuck all of you! Jesus-fucking-Christ, I hate you all!”

The four boys don’t stop running until they’ve made it inside Jeno’s car and locked the doors behind them.

“So,” Jaemin pants, looking back at Donghyuck from where he sits in the passenger seat. “What about your list?”

Donghyuck pauses his heaving long enough to let out a short and breathy: “Let's not and say we did.”

“I'm cool with that,” Jaemin shrugs.

Truthfully, Donghyuck doesn't know whether to be amazed or disturbed by his cool and collected demeanour.

“Same,” Renjun says next to Donghyuck.

“Jeno?” Jaemin asks, poking his shoulder.

Jeno sighs deeply. “Do you even have to ask?”

“Guess not,” Jaemin smiles, shrugging. “What now?”

“I have a few hours to kill before my mom comes home,” Donghyuck says, after quickly checking his phone for the time. “So, I’m down for anything that won’t get me killed before then.”

“Yeah, he needs to be alive and well for his date with Mark later.”

“Shut up, it’s not a date.”

“Sure,” Renjun snorts, patting Donghyuck’s knee. Donghyuck smacks Renjun’s hand away, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, wanna watch Homecoming again? Chanhee could probably sneak us in.”

Donghyuck shrugs. “Sounds like a plan.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hyuck Lee.”

The familiar greeting is the first thing Donghyuck hears upon stepping out of his house and into the night. Mark can be seen leaning against the front of his car with his arms crossed beneath the dim lighting of the porch light Donghyuck’s mother insisted on turning on.

“Mark,” Donghyuck nods, stopping at the edge of the front porch’s steps. “How was work?”

“So so,” Mark says, smiling. “How was ghost hunting?”

Donghyuck hisses, grimacing at the fresh memory. “So so.”

“At least you’re still alive,” Mark laughs, pushing himself off the car. He glances down at Donghyuck’s feet. “Nice sandals by the way.”

Donghyuck looks down as well, suddenly self-conscious of the outdated Birkenstock sandals on his feet. “Look,” he says, walking towards the Highlander’s passenger side door. “I grabbed the first pair of shoes I could find.”

“I said they were nice,” Mark snorts, unlocking the car’s doors.

“Right.” Donghyuck huffs. He pulls his door open and settles into the upholstered seat. “Where are you taking me anyway?” he asks, once he’s buckled in.

Mark does the same, turning the key in the ignition. He glances over at Donghyuck before putting the car in reverse and backs out of the driveway. “You scared I'm gonna kidnap you?”

“I'm not,” Donghyuck admits, watching as Mark maneuvers the car onto the main road with ease. He looks away quickly, before Mark can feel his eyes on him. “But my mom is. She's probably tracking me as we speak.”

“That's cute,” Mark smiles, sneaking a peek in Donghyuck’s direction.

“It's cramping my style and she's only been back for four hours.”

“You sound like a brat.”

“Maybe I do,” Donghyuck shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest. “But in my defence, I got used to life without her.”

“Wasn't she gone for, like, two weeks?” Mark asks, his nose scrunched.

“Yes,” Donghyuck admits. “And they were the greatest two weeks of my life.”

To Donghyuck, the faint smile that tugs on the corners of Mark’s lips at the implication is oddly satisfying.

“You know,” Mark starts after a moment of silence. By then, they’ve made it out of their quiet neighbourhood and are headed east, towards the local university. “You are setting the bar real high for me here.”

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck wonders, peeling his eye away from the streetlights that rush past his window. “You scared you'll never top the space suit?”

“Honestly? Yes,” Mark reveals, to which Donghyuck raises his brows curiously. “This whole arrangement was kind of super last minute and it could easily flop.”

It’s then that Donghyuck notices just how tightly Mark is currently holding onto the steering wheel. It’s dark in the car, but not dark enough to conceal the blanching of his knuckles as he does.

“Don't worry,” Donghyuck assures, hoping to appease Mark in whatever way possible. “I won't be mad if it flops. Whatever _it_ is.”

Mark lets out a breathy laugh, saying: “Thanks. And you'll find out soon.”

Within the next few minutes, Mark brings his car to a full stop, parking it in a lot belonging to a small building nestled in the middle of what appears to be a miniature forest of sorts.

Donghyuck doesn’t ask any questions. He follows Mark out of the car in silence, speaking only once he spots Yeri Kim, leaning against a lampost, typing away furiously on her phone.

“Yeri?” Donghyuck calls, frowning slightly.

Yeri looks up from the device in her hand, her eyes following the sound of his voice.

“Donghyuck,” she smiles, pocketing her phone. Donghyuck rolls his eyes, as she is probably the only person in the entire world that _still_ uses his full name ( _anything_ is better than DJ, though). She waves. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” Donghyuck asks, gesturing towards the building; a building he had no idea even existed until about a minute or two ago. He then points to her get up. “In your pyjamas.”

“Saving Mark’s ass,” Yeri says, jokingly glaring in Mark’s direction. The latter only grins in response. “As per usual.”

“Okay…” Donghyuck mutters, looking between the two. “What’s going on?”

Yeri shakes her head, taking a deep breath. “Follow me,” she orders, marching towards the building’s front doors, which she opens with a swipe of the key pass that hangs around her neck. “And don’t be loud. I’m not trying to get ratted out by the night crew.”

Donghyuck opens his mouth to speak, but is silenced by the feeling of Mark’s cool fingers encircling around his wrist, tugging him forward.

They enter the building like that, Yeri leading the way, and Mark— gently— dragging Donghyuck along the way as they walk through the reception area.”

“Windemere Animal Hospital,” Donghyuck reads aloud, his eyes fixed on the bold faced lettering that adorns the lower half of the reception desk in the centre of the room. He turns to Mark, who is looking straight ahead, careful not to lose track of Yeri as she rushes towards the elevators to the left. “Alright, now I'm even more confused.”

“Just….” Mark falters, urging Donghyuck forward. The latter refuses, using his own weight to slow Mark down. It fails, because Mark Lee is a fucking _hockey player_ of all things, and Donghyuck is… Donghyuck. “Come. Please.”

“Are you guys gonna get talking?”

“No,” Mark says, shaking his head.

“It'll ruin the surprise,” Yeri adds, holding the elevator’s door open with her foot. “Now hurry, we don’t have much time before Kun does his rounds.”

 _What rounds? And who the fuck is Kun?_ Are amongst the many questions that run through Donghyuck’s head.

“ _Fine_ ,” he whines instead, allowing himself to be pulled into the elevator by a too-excited Mark. “Assholes.”

Yeri snorts, shaking her head. Mark, on the other hand, ignores the insult in favour of absentmindedly humming along to the song that plays as the elevator makes its way up to the second floor.

“Almost there,” Yeri says once the elevator’s doors open. She steps out of the metal car, looking over her shoulder. “It’s just up ahead.”

“Finally,” Donghyuck scoffs, following after her and Mark, who’s only recently let go of his wrist. “This better be good.”

Mark bites his lip nervously, rubbing his hands even as they make it to the end of the hallway by a door labelled _Jelly_. Donghyuck watches curiously as Yeri opens the door and steps aside.

“Go ahead,” Yeri sighs, waving Donghyuck into the brightly lit space

Donghyuck lets out the ugliest gasp upon peering into the room.

“ _Puppies_?” Donghyuck exclaims joyfully, rushing to the centre of the room where a throng of labrador pups are playing without a care in the world. “No fucking way!”

Donghyuck steps over the makeshift pen before sitting down with the little dogs.

“What do you think?”

“I-I’m fucking speechless,” Donghyuck marvels, scooping up the smallest pup of the bunch. The baby lets out a series of excited yelps, licking at Donghyuck’s fingers. He coos. “But… why?”

“Number nine on The List: Pet one hundred dogs,” Mark says, walking up to the puppy gate. Donghyuck briefly looks up from the horde of excited babies pawing at his lap. “I couldn't find one hundred dogs, but I hope eleven pups will do.”

“They're beautiful. This is perfect,” Donghyuck promises, giving Mark what he hopes is an appreciative smile.

“And they're all yours. For the next few minutes, at least,” Yeri explains from where she stands by the door.

“Really? I- _fuck_ …” Donghyuck says, struggling to form a coherent sentence. “Thank you so much, guys. Really, I… thank you.”

“It’s no big deal,” Yeri shrugs before shifting her gaze onto Mark. “I’m gonna go see if I can stall Kun for a bit. I’ll see you in… ten minutes?”

“How’s that sound?” Mark asks, the question directed to Donghyuck, who looks up from the puppies once more.

“It’s more than enough time. Thank you, Yeri.”

“You seriously don’t have to thank me,” Yeri laughs, bringing her hands up. “As much as I’d love to take credit, this was all Mark’s idea.”

With that, she slips out of the room in search of the mysterious Kun.

“Thank you,” Donghyuck repeats, this time quieter than the last. “You really came through.”

“It’s no problem,” Mark smiles, stepping into the pen. He takes a seat across from Donghyuck, watching him as he plays. “I just wanted to make it up to you.”

“You did,” Donghyuck smiles nuzzling his nose into one of the pups’ silky fur. It gleefully laps at his chin in response. “God, I don’t think you understand how much I love puppies. I don’t have a dog at home, so this is kind of a dream come true.”

Mark nods. “Your parents don’t like pets?”

“It’s not that. You remember Jungwoo?” Donghyuck starts, to which Mark nods. “He’s allergic, so no one wanted to risk it back when we lived together.”

Donghyuck briefly thinks of the years he spent living with his grandparents and Jungwoo while his parents pursued their post-secondary degrees.

Donghyuck remembers constantly envying the kids at his school who’d often talk about their puppies back home.

It was enough to cause a lot of tension between the two boys, for Donghyuck resented Jungwoo and his allergies for stopping him from owning the dog of his dreams; and Jungwoo…

Well Jungwoo had always been an asshole regardless of the subject at hand.

“I still can’t believe he’s your uncle,” Mark chuckles.

“Not many people do,” Donghyuck shrugs, looking up at Mark. “It’s a bit of a weird story.”

“It’s chill if you don’t want to talk about it,” Mark rushes out.

“It’s fine,” Donghyuck promises, shaking his head. “He and my dad are about sixteen years apart, so Jungwoo was only two years old when my parents had me. So if you really think about it, I have a child for an uncle. Sucks, right?”

“I bet,” Mark grimaces. “He seemed nice, though.”

“He’s charming, I’ll give him that,” Donghyuck snorts, scratching another pup in the spot behind its ears. “Enough about him, though. I don’t want to look back at this and only think of him.”

“You’re right,” Mark agrees, smiling. He gestures to the matriarch of the clan of retrievers. “This is Jelly’s moment.”

“ _And_  the puppies.”

“Of course,” Mark says, giggling as a few of the puppies run over to him and begin to paw their way into his lap.

And Donghyuck, overwhelmed by appreciation and an inexplicable sorrow, commits the sound to memory.


	7. The Pyramid at the End of the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING ******
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter includes/references to a panic attack. It doesn't go into too much detail, but it is there.

Renjun is creative; more than Donghyuck ever gives him credit for. Or _should_ give him, for that matter.

He’s clever and brilliant in ways that could easily go unnoticed due to how quiet he has the tendency of being when he’s around complete strangers. It’s when he’s performing on a stage that these colours of his show, blinding spectators with their vivacity.

Donghyuck is reminded of this side to Renjun’s personality the following Tuesday, when the latter has invited the gang over to his house for an afternoon spent fooling around in his swimming pool.

“Hyuck Lee, welcome to your very own shark tank,” Renjun says to him the second he walks out of the Huang house and into the backyard. Donghyuck’s eyes follow Renjun’s booming voice to find him lying by the pool in a plastic lounge chair with a pair of bright red sunglasses resting on his face. There’s a Palm Bay in his hand— probably left over from his party a few weeks back— which he stuffs into the chair’s arm rest before gesturing towards the pool. “Now, you can finally cross ‘swimming with sharks’ off your list _without_ having to fly down to, like, Cuba.”

Intrigued, Donghyuck steps off the wooden deck and peers into the pool.

Donghyuck’s eyes are met with an incredible amount of inflatable shark toys floating side by side, taking up most of the pool’s surface. Donghyuck laughs, as it must have taken Renjun a greater part of the early afternoon to blow the toys up, even with Sicheng’s help (assuming the boy even did help).

And for a moment, Donghyuck’s heart flutters, appreciation flooding his senses as he turns to Renjun, who’s now walking over to him.

“Renjun,” Donghyuck starts, shaking his head. “I don’t tell you this enough, but I fucking love you.”

Renjun cocks his head, eyeing Donghyuck.

“I love you too,” he laughs, patting Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Now get in and enjoy this before Sicheng and his dumb friends crash our fun.”

Donghyuck complies, pulling off his shirt and kicking off his slides before diving into the pool’s deep end. He can see Renjun do the same as he resurfaces and swims over to a floating lounge, climbing onto it with as much strength as he can muster.

It’s once he and Renjun have both settled into their lounge chairs that Jeno stomps onto the scene, slamming the patio door shut behind him with a frustrated growl. Donghyuck silently watches him hop down the deck’s stairs, carelessly missing the last few steps.

“Where’s Jaemin?” Renjun asks, pushing his sunglasses up his nose.

“He’s still sulking,” Jeno grunts, angrily dropping into the recliner Renjun had been sitting in earlier. He pulls the unfinished can of Palm Bay out of the cup holder and takes a swig. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. It was never that big of a deal.”

Donghyuck frowns, not quite understanding whatever it is Jeno is referring to. “What’s going on?” he asks, looking between his two friends.

“It’s nothing,” Jeno sighs, shaking his head.

Donghyuck doesn’t believe him.

“I’ll go get him,” Renjun says after a moment of silence, slipping out of the inflatable lounge and out of the pool. “Be right back.”

“You seem stressed,” Donghyuck points out once Renjun is out of earshot.

“I’m fine.” Jeno snaps, crushing the now-empty can in his hand. Donghyuck flinches. “Sorry, it’s just… He can be so infuriating sometimes.”

Donghyuck nods, unsure of how to respond.

It’s no secret to the group that Jeno and Jaemin are at each other’s throats more than they get along. If Donghyuck were to be honest, he’d say that sometimes even he is surprised by the fact that their friendship has stood the test of time the way that it has. But a fight to this calibre— seeing Jeno angry to this extent— is unchartered territory.

Renjun saves Donghyuck from having to say anything, quickly walking out of his house.

“Jeno Lee get your ass out of my pool and go fix this mess,” he orders, his voice so loud that Donghyuck is sure the people living in the houses across the street may have heard.

“But-”

“ _Go_.”

“ _Fuck,_ ” Jeno curses, letting the can clatter to the floor as he stands. “ _Alright!_ ”

Jeno pushes past Renjun as he walks back into the house, once again slamming the patio door shut.

Renjun sighs, taking a seat by the edge of the pool.

“What’s happening?” Donghyuck asks, watching the ripples that form every time Renjun kicks at the water. “What’s wrong with Jaemin?”

Renjun looks up at the sky. He seems shaken up. “It’s… I don’t know,” he says, anxiously twiddling his thumbs. “I’ve never seen him so upset, though.”

“Sh-should I go and say something?” Donghyuck offers, staring off towards the patio door.

“Jeno’s got it,” Renjun says, shaking his head. He frowns. “I hope.”

Donghyuck nods. By then, his floating chair has travelled to the pool’s edge, so he uses this opportunity to hoist himself out of the pool at once.

He isn’t in the mood to swim anymore.

Donghyuck takes a seat next to Renjun, close enough that their thighs touch. Renjun sighs before resting his head against Donghyuck’s shoulder.

Eventually, Jeno comes back out, only this time, he seems more remorseful than anything.

“So?” Donghyuck asks, his tone expectant.

“He’s gone,” Jeno says, swallowing thickly before gathering his things. “Sicheng took him home.”

Renjun stands. “ _Jeno_ -”

“I’m gonna go now,” Jeno declares, cutting Renjun off. He then looks down at Donghyuck, who’s more confused than he ever thought possible. “Sorry for ruining today.”

Just like that, Jeno is gone, sniffling quietly to himself on the way out.

“This’ll pass,” Renjun says once Jeno’s car can no longer be heard in the distance.

“Huh?”

“I said this’ll pass,” Renjun repeats, taking his place next to Donghyuck once more. “Things’ll be back to normal in no time,” he continues, and it sounds like he’s trying to convince _himself_ more than Donghyuck.

“So you’re saying we should forget about this?”

Renjun nods. “For now.”

So Donghyuck drops it, but the awful stirring in his stomach doesn’t go away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Things don’t go back to normal.

At least, not in the days that follow.

None of the boys speak in their group chat; radio silence taking over the chat room until Friday night later that week when Jaemin leaves it with a quick and serious _I just need time_.

It’s out of character; enough that the worry in Donghyuck’s gut to resurface and blossoms into something bigger and uglier than what it was before.

Because of that, Donghyuck sleeps very little that night, his mind running at unimaginable speeds as he tries to come up with some answers.

What could Jeno have done to make Jaemin so upset? Why does he seem to be the only one who doesn’t know?

Unfortunately, he comes up short _and_ sleep deprived.

Though as discouraging this fact may be, Donghyuck doesn’t let it stop him from doing _something_.

The best thing he can do to show his support for Jaemin is to be there for him.

So the next day, as soon as his room is clean enough for his mom’s liking, Donghyuck gets down to business. He wordlessly hops onto his bike and speeds over to Jaemin’s house, though not before stopping by the neighbourhood mini mart for a pint of Jaemin’s favourite ice cream.

The first thing Donghyuck sees upon making it to Jaemin’s house is Jeno’s car parked behind Renjun’s in the Na family’s driveway.

“The fuck…” he mutters to himself as he dismounts his bike, pint of ice cream in hand.

None of his friends had mentioned coming over to Jaemin’s. But then again, neither had Donghyuck, so there isn’t anything to be upset over.

Or at least it’s what Donghyuck _tries_ to tell himself. He’s never been the most rational person to begin with, so there’s not much he can do to stop himself from jumping to conclusions as he walks up the driveway to knock on the front door.

It’s Jaemin’s mom that greets him, her smile as big and infectious as her son’s.

“Ah, Hyuck! I haven’t seen you around here in so long,” she coos, taking Donghyuck into her arms. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Donghyuck laughs, patting her back. She pulls away, beaming. “How are things with you?”

“Busy, busy, busy. It’s wedding season, so things are _crazy_ at the studio,” she says huffily, shaking out her curly hair. “But, speaking of weddings, how’s Bora? Are arrangements coming along nicely?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck replies, trying not to grimace. “We’re supposed to try out bakeries next week.”

“You must be so excited!” Jaemin’s mom exclaims, squeezing Donghyuck’s shoulder. The latter shrugs in response. “Anyway, I’ve got a consultation to get to. The boys should be out back.”

“Thanks,” Donghyuck smiles. “It was nice seeing you.”

“You too, sweetheart.”

Jaemin’s mom makes sure to lock the door behind her once she’s gone, leaving Donghyuck alone in the foyer with his tub of ice cream.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before taking off towards the sliding glass patio door that looks out on the Na family’s garden.

It’s through this door that Donghyuck can clearly see Jeno and Jaemin sitting together beneath the gazebo, holding hands.

Donghyuck doesn’t think much of it until Jeno reaches up to caress Jaemin’s cheek.

Donghyuck squints, breath hitching as he walks closer to the glass door.

“ _Holy fuck_ ,” he says, watching as Jeno _leans in_  and presses his lips against Jaemin’s. “ _No_.”

 _This can’t be fucking happening_ , he thinks, backing away from the glass door.

But as much as Donghyuck doesn't want to believe it, it _is_  happening. Jeno and Jaemin _are_ kissing. They're kissing in a way that seems so undeniably familiar and far too loving for this instance to have been the first.

 _How long?_ Is the next question that comes to mind.

How long have they been this way? How long have they kept this secret?

Donghyuck quickly reviews the last few weeks, searching for any clues that he may have missed. He finds nothing out of the ordinary, except for maybe earlier that week at Renjun’s. The fight that led to this very moment.

Donghyuck remembers how quickly he'd given up on trying to figure out the source of their quarrel and feels burning hot shame in his core.

_Is this why they wouldn't tell me? Am I that oblivious?_

“Hyuck? You’re here?”

It’s Renjun.

Donghyuck whirls around. Renjun is standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at Donghyuck as if being him there is more unthinkable than whatever the hell it is that’s going on in the garden.

Then it hits him.

Renjun _must_ have known too.

“Did you know?” Donghyuck asks, not caring about thow accusatory his tone might sound.

“What-”

“Did you fucking know?”

Renjun frowns, taking a tentative step towards Donghyuck. “Hyuck-”

“ _Just answer me!_ ”

“Yes,” Renjun sighs, confirming all of Donghyuck’s suspicions. “But-”

Renjun is cut off by the sound of the patio door sliding open.

“What’s going on here?” Jeno asks, stepping around Jaemin who stands frozen by the doorway. “Hyuck-”

“ _I_ should be the one asking questions, right now.” Donghyuck quips, pointing at his own chest. “What the fuck is happening and why do you all insist on keeping things from me? Am I seriously that much of a bad friend that you can’t just tell me about these things?”

“Hyuck, come on…” Renjun says tiredly from where he’s standing. “This has nothing to do with you.”

“You really expect me to believe that? Or do you think I'm a fucking idiot as well?” Donghyuck shoots back, his voice sounding shrill and manic, even to himself.

He knows that he’s being ridiculous, but he can’t stop. Not when Renjun is looking at him with disgust written all over his face.

“He never called you an idiot,” Jeno says, pleading.

“He didn’t have to,” Donghyuck cries, shaking his head. “I know what he’s thinking. I know what you’re all thinking.”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little?” Jeno asks, and while Donghyuck knows deep down that it's a genuine question, it _feels_ like the opposite; as if Jeno says it with the intent to hurt him— feel worthless.

“Yeah,” Renjun says, bringing his hands up. “Just calm down. We can talk this out.”

Donghyuck cocks his head, taking a good look at all of his friends. Each of their faces show a mixture of terror, resentment, and impatience that leaves Donghyuck feeling sick to the stomach and lightheaded all at once.

 _There's nothing to talk about_ , he wants to say. _Each of you had the chance to say something before and now it's too late!_

“Fuck this,” Donghyuck lets out through gritted teeth. He can see Jaemin flinch at his words through his peripheral vision. “Fuck all of you.”

Jeno rolls his eyes. “Donghyuck-”

Donghyuck shuts Jeno up by throwing the pint of ice cream at his feet. The four boys watch in real time as the top pops open, spilling melting ice cream all over the tiled flooring. But before anyone can react, Donghyuck is out the front door, ignoring his tears as they begin to spill from his stinging eyes.

And with no destination in mind, Donghyuck gets on his bike, and begins to pedal.

He pedals and pedals, racing past houses, street signs, and the odd family out on an afternoon stroll until he no longer can— until the dull ache in his lungs turns into fire, consuming him from the inside out, making it nearly impossible for him to _breathe_.

Donghyuck comes to a stop by a narrow dirt path.

He knows it well, as it leads to the park his parents used to bring him to when he was younger.

The memory alone makes him sick, a sudden wave of nausea hitting him square in the gut.

Donghyuck keels over, the tires of his bike squealing in protest before coming into contact with the curb, and ultimately launching him into the air.

He falls onto the path with a thud, his bike not far behind as he does.

Donghyuck lets out a ragged cry.

 _Nothing is going right_ , he thinks as he desperately untangles himself from his bike, kicking the metal contraption away from his body.

Once he’s loose from the bike’s clutches, Donghyuck runs down the dirt path, ignoring the throbbing sensation that blooms on his thigh.

Every step _hurts_ and he’s more than 100% sure that he managed to bruise the entire left side of his body, but he has to keep moving.

He wants to be alone— _needs_  to be alone.

It’s why Donghyuck locks himself in the small brick building off to the side of the park that houses its bathrooms.

It’s quiet inside, enough that he’s able to fully hear his own shallow breaths.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Donghyuck sobs, walking over to the sinks, where he catches his reflection in the mirror.

Even in the bathroom’s dingy lighting, Donghyuck can tell that the colour has drained from his face, leaving it as dull and as lifeless as he feels on the inside.

It makes him sick.

Overcome with hurt, anger, and grief, Donghyuck shuffles away from the mirrors until his back hits the door of a stall.

It’s in that tiny, cramped stall that he empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet, fingers gripping the ceramic fixture until he can no longer feel them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hyuck? You okay?”

Chenle’s voice rings through the air of Donghyuck’s unlit bedroom. The latter blinks, his dreamless trance broken as he lifts his head from his pillow, pondering.

Hours have passed since Donghyuck returned home from the park and he has yet to leave his bed; his phone is somewhere he can’t see, its screen shattered from the way he’d tossed it aside earlier, mentally unable to handle the steady stream of notifications from his ‘friends’; and the bruises that litter his left side are making it hard for him to find a comfortable position amongst his pillows.

Truthfully, Donghyuck feels worse than he did the day he put together that stupid bucket list of his. The time he spent all alone in that bathroom showed him something he never truly experienced before: loneliness in its purest form.

No one had been there to help him. Hell, no one cared enough to.

So, no, Donghyuck _isn’t_ okay.

But Chenle can’t know that.

“I’m fine,” Donghyuck lies, his voice rasped from hours of disuse.

“Oh, okay…” Chenle mutters, nodding. “Your mom wanted me to tell you that dinner’s ready.”

Donghyuck sighs. “Tell her I’m not hungry.”

“You sure you okay?”

“Just… leave me alone, Chenle.” Donghyuck pleads, closing his eyes. “ _Please._ ”

Donghyuck can hear Chenle hesitate, before leaving his room at once, closing the door behind him.

And for the umpteenth time that day, Donghyuck cries.


	8. Lie of the Land

After that Saturday, Donghyuck falls back into the habit of staying idle behind the locked door of his bedroom all day long.

He sleeps and eats if he remembers to, but for the most part, his days are spent hunched over in the darkness of his room with nothing but the dual screens of his DS to serve as lighting. It's in these conditions that he manages to completely revamp his village in Animal Crossing and even wins the Grand Prix title in Mario Kart three times in a row.

Unfortunately for him, the instant gratification he gains from his time online only lasts for about a minute, and before he knows it, Donghyuck is brought back to the sad reality of his life.

His friends— if he can even call them that anymore— still despise him, his parents are still too preoccupied with their own _new_ lives to notice his distress, and he still wants to die.

It doesn’t help at all that wedding planning becomes the sole thing on everyone's minds.

Because of this, no one notices the sudden shift in Donghyuck’s behaviour, for he is once again shoved to the very bottom of everyone’s list of priorities— not that he was ever at the top to begin with.

The only person Donghyuck somewhat speaks to is Jaehyun, who has a weird, yet appreciated habit of tagging Donghyuck in ridiculous Buzzfeed articles and memes from the late 2000s.

Donghyuck doesn't even talk to Mark, who he'd been texting every now and then up until that Saturday.

The older boy doesn't comment on the lack of communication on Donghyuck's end until the following Wednesday.

Donghyuck is in the middle of the week’s second cake tasting, this one significantly better than the last, doing his best to tune out the Chairman and his mother’s animated conversation with the baker in charge when his phone rings in his pocket.

He figures the text tone wasn’t too loud, for the conversation around him doesn’t cease, but it wasn’t quiet _enough_. Donghyuck can see Chenle look away from his unfinished slice of dark chocolate ganache cake— Donghyuck’s least favourite— long enough to give him a questioning glance.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Donghyuck says to him, pulling his phone out of the front pocket of his jeans.

Once he looks down at his phone’s cracked screen, Donghyuck’s eyes are met with three text messages from Mark.

His breath hitches

“Are you okay?” Chenle asks him, frowning slightly, to which Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

“I’m fine,” Donghyuck grunts, standing up. He then turns to his mother, saying: “I’m going to the bathroom.”

But Donghyuck doesn’t go to the bathroom.

Instead, he stands on the other side of the doorway, leaning against the cream coloured walls and unlocks his phone.

 

**mark lee**

Hi

I’m bored

And we haven't talked in a while…

What are you up to?

**hyuck**

cake tasting w/ mom and future fam :/

**mark lee**

Yoooo

Bring me some

Please

**hyuck**

u wish

**mark lee**

But it’s my birthday :(

**hyuck**

don't lie

**mark lee**

I swear it is :((

 

Donghyuck frowns, immediately closing the messaging app in search of the blue Facebook icon. The app is still open on some grumpy cat meme Jaehyun had tagged him in earlier that day. Donghyuck promptly gives it an angry react before dismissing it in order to scroll through his notification centre.

Surely enough, it _is_ Mark's birthday.

“How did I _not_ know?” Donghyuck mutters, exiting the Facebook app.

 _You’re barely even friends_ , is the only answer Donghyuck’s brain manages to conjure. It’s a tough pill to swallow, for as he really _does_ want to believe that he and Mark are more than just acquaintances (they made out twice, for crying out loud!), he can’t look past the fact that there’s so much he _doesn’t_ know about Mark and vice versa.

Donghyuck pushes himself off the wall, feeling dejected, before silently hobbling back into the room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Donghyuck doesn’t sulk for too long.

He ends up saving Mark a slice of buttercream lemon cake (his favourite of the day), much to Chenle’s dismay (“Isn’t that bad etiquette?” “Shut up, Chenle.”), in the hopes of delivering it to Mark’s house later in the day.

Which brings Donghyuck to his current situation.

He’s with Mark, both boys sitting a few feet apart at the glass patio table in the elder’s backyard.

“So,” Donghyuck starts, tearing his gaze away from the stars in the night sky to look at Mark. The latter looks up from the piece of cake, setting down his fork in order to give Donghyuck his undivided attention. “You’re eighteen now.”

“Yup,” he affirms, smiling faintly.

“How is it?”

“Overrated,” Mark laughs after a brief moment of silence. “I feel the same as yesterday.”

“It _has_ only been a few hours.”

“Exactly,” Mark muses, leaning back in his seat. He looks up at the sky. “But there’s always tomorrow. And there’s so much I haven’t done yet.”

“Like buy a scratch card,” Donghyuck offers.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Mark approves, nodding slowly. Donghyuck watches as Mark’s gaze goes from the sky, to _him_ , then to the half eaten cake that sits in the container. “This cake is amazing, by the way.”

“I was hoping you’d like it,” Donghyuck admits. “It’s the one they’re probably going with for the wedding.”

“Is that your way of inviting me to your mom’s wedding?” Mark teases, head cocked to the side.

“I mean… I guess?” Donghyuck stammers, running a hand over his head. His hair has grown quite a bit since cutting it, to the point where he could tug at the strands if he wanted to. “You don’t have to come though,” he adds, backtracking. “ _I_ don’t even want to be there.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck sighs, shaking his head. “I'm being annoying. I guess… I’m still not used to the concept of change.”

“It’s hard to keep up, huh?”

“Yeah…” Donghyuck says, smiling sadly. “It’s stupid isn’t it?”

“Not at all,” Mark declares with an air of certainty. “We all need time to process things.”

“I’ve had, like, three years to process this,” Donghyuck pouts. “Maybe _I’m_ the stupid one.”

“Aw, don't be like that,” Mark says, patting Donghyuck’s hand. “You wanna know something?”

“What?”

“It's been months, but sometimes, I still forget that my mom's in space.”

Donghyuck blinks. “Really?”

“Mhmm,” Mark hums, nodding. “There's some days where I find myself waiting for her to come back home from work for minutes before I remember that she won't be coming back. And then I miss her even more.”

“That's….” Donghyuck falters.

“Sad?” Mark tries, to which Donghyuck nods solemnly. “It is, isn’t it? You’d think that I’d be used to it by now. I mean, it’s her second expedition.”

“It makes sense, though. Space isn’t a five minute bike ride away. And it’s not like you can just ring her up anytime.”

“That’s true.”

“How do you do it?” Donghyuck asks, gesturing with his hands. “How do you… _cope_?”

“I mostly just talk it out with whoever’s willing to listen,” Mark shrugs, hands now playing with his fork as he speaks. “And if no one's around, I'll write it down. As long as it's out of my system, you know?”

“What if it's too scary to talk about?”

Mark is silent for while, his breathing cool and steady as he thinks. Everything about Mark seems to be that way, Donghyuck thinks.

“It's normal to be afraid of things,” Mark eventually says, turning to Donghyuck, and looks into his eyes. Donghyuck looks away after a half second, unable to handle the intensity of Mark’s gaze for too long. “But… the longer you avoid the conversation, the heavier that weight on your shoulders gets. And that's not fair to _you_. Right?”

“Right,” Donghyuck agrees, though the word feels hollow on his tongue.

“So,” Mark then says, shifting in his seat. “Is there anything you'd like to get off your chest?”

Donghyuck looks up from his clasped hands and turns to Mark.

He is suddenly hit with an influx of emotions too strong ranging from envy for his calm demeanour to a fierce yet simple adoration. They cause a stirring in the pit of his stomach, and for a moment, Donghyuck feels dizzy.

He wants to say something. He knows he _should_ say something, but at the same time, he fears losing Mark— his only remaining friend— more than anything.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Not right now, no.”

“That's fine,” Mark says, giving Donghyuck a comforting smile.

“But… thank you,” Donghyuck continues, his tone bashful. “For asking.”

“You're welcome,” Mark says with a light chuckle. “And you too. For being here.”

Donghyuck can’t help the smile that blooms on his face, ultimately adding a hint of sweetness to his sour mood. He looks up, finally looking Mark in the eye as he says:

“Anytime.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Donghyuck hasn’t been to church in years— he isn't even sure if he believes in God anymore— but later as he sits in bed, ready to sleep for the night, he finds himself praying long and hard. He does this hoping to find the strength he needs to talk to someone— anyone— about the conflicting emotions he's been feeling for the last few years of his life.

And for the first time in a long time, he feels hopeful that maybe, just maybe, things will get better.


	9. Empress of Mars

Donghyuck should have known better than to think that things would get better.

He should have known better than to hope that he could one day mean something to someone that matters to _him_ ; and that no matter what, they’d stay by his side without him having to worry about them leaving him high and dry when he needs them most.

But more importantly, he should have known better than to trust in Mark Lee.

Donghyuck shivers at the thought of him alone.

Currently, Donghyuck is sitting in an emptying train station somewhere in the middle of the city in which his dad lives. It’s about three hours away from home and he’s on his own. All he has to keep him company are the clothes off his back, a toothbrush, and the credit card the Chairman has given him for his birthday stuffed into the front pocket of his hoodie. He doesn’t even have his phone on him, as he’d thrown it onto his bed before storming out of his house earlier.

However, as hasty as his decision to leave was, Donghyuck doesn't regret it at all.

He needed to get out of his city and he needed to do it fast or he's sure he would have tried to end his own life tonight.

He isn’t ready for that.

Not yet, at least.

So Donghyuck wordlessly in the echoing silence of the station’s waiting area as he waits for his cab to arrive.

Donghyuck sniffles, looking around, and wonders if he looks as disgusting as he feels. Judging by the concerned glances thrown his way by the station’s staff, he figures that the answer must be _yes_. Embarrassed, Donghyuck casts his eyes— raw and bloodshot from how much he’d been tearfully rubbing at them the whole way here— downward in order to avoid their stares and begins to absentmindedly fiddle with the strings of his hoodie.

It's therapeutic in a way; mind-numbing enough that he spaces out, his eyes closing in the process as he's brought back to when it all began.

Donghyuck was watching some tv show on Netflix with Chenle when his mother stepped into the room asking him if he was going to attend ‘the going away party’.

 _I just saw Greg at the mailbox_ , she said in response to the look of confusion on both he and Chenle’s faces, _he and Mark are moving to Seoul on the 26th_. And it’s then that Donghyuck learns that not only would Mark be moving to _South Korea_ in a few weeks, but that he also didn’t seem to think it was something Donghyuck deserved to know.

The revelation was enough to send Donghyuck into a state of panic and insecurity. He couldn’t wrap his head around just how or why Mark would let him believe that their friendship meant _anything_ if he just planned on exiting Donghyuck’s life without so much as a warning.

It even had Donghyuck wondering if he himself was the problem.

If his own family and friends could seamlessly slip out of his life, then what would stop Mark: a boy he even barely knew up until the last month?

Fast forward a few minutes and Donghyuck is bringing his bike to a full stop in the Daisy Mart’s parking lot. Dressed in his stupid work uniform, Mark is in the process of holding the door open for a group of middle schoolers when he finally spots Donghyuck.

His eyes light up almost instantly, but Donghyuck doesn’t trust it.

He doesn’t trust Mark _period_. Not anymore.

“Hyuck?” Mark says letting go of the door once they’re inside. “Hey-”

“You're moving.” Donghyuck cuts him off, as he hops off his bike. The bicycle skids away from the two of them before hitting the curb with a loud _clink_.

Mark squints. “Wait, what?”

“Don't deflect, Mark.” Donghyuck pleads, walking closer to him. “You're _moving_.”

Mark looks away, scratching the back of his head. “I mean-”

“ _God_ ,” Donghyuck laughs. “You didn't, for one second, think to tell me that you'd be moving to South Korea at the end of the summer? Or were you just going to up and leave without saying anything?”

“I…” Mark splutters, shaking his head. “It never came up, and I-”

“ _Never came up_?” Donghyuck repeats, taking a step forward. “I don't believe that, Mark. You had all of July to tell me, but no. I had to find out from my _mother_.”

“Look, I'm sorry.”

“That…” Donghyuck falters, shaking his head slowly. He crosses his arms, suddenly feeling too small and too _embarrassed_ of his feelings, and looks away. “That doesn't cut it.”

“Wait… Is this about your bucket list?” Mark tries, attempting to meet Donghyuck's gaze. “Because I don't leave until the end of August. We have plenty of time to f-”

“It's not- Just forget the bucket list, Mark!” Donghyuck barks, throwing his hands over his eyes. They're beginning to sting. When he pulls his hands away, Mark is gaping at him, his eyes wide. “It's literally the biggest load of bullshit. I mean, the only reason I even thought of making it in the first place was because I was dumb enough to think that my life doesn't have to be so horrible and pointless, and that I could actually enjoy myself for once, and that maybe I shouldn't fucking off myself like I've been planning to.”

Mark's eyes widen. “Hold on…” He says, reaching out to Donghyuck. “What do you…? Hyuck-”

“Just stop! Stop doing that!” Donghyuck snaps, dodging Mark's touch. “I don't need your pity!”

“What are you even…? Like, _fuck_ , I'm not pitying you!” Mark says, and everything about him is incredulous; from the look in his eyes to the very timbre of his otherwise soothing voice. “I just want to help you, Hyuck! That's literally all I've ever wanted to do for you!”

“ _Then why wouldn't you tell me?_ ”

The set of Mark’s shoulders falls. “I… I don't know.”

And if Donghyuck’s heart wasn’t already shattered to pieces then it most certainly is now.

Mark may as well have just told him _Are you joking? What makes you think I care enough about your sorry ass to tell you anything about my life?_

So Donghyuck smiles sadly, looking at the ground. His mismatched slides stare back at him tauntingly.

“You know what? You're right,” Donghyuck says quietly, hoping that Mark can’t see the tears that have begun to well up in his eyes. “I don't even know why I came... It's not like you owe me anything,” he continues, beginning to turn away. “We weren't even friends to begin with.”

Mark frowns. “Come on, you know that's not true.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “It's fine. You don't have to lie to me anymore. I'll go.”

“Hyuck-”

“Have fun in Korea.”

Donghyuck gets on his bike and pedals away, ignoring the way Mark calls after him.

Donghyuck doesn't care about anything Mark has to say.

He's _tired_.

Putting so much energy into one sided relationships is killing him from the inside out and he's sick of it. He's sick of constantly feeling like nothing more than a burden in everyone else's lives; of feeling like he has no purpose on Earth besides being abandoned by the people he loves.

 _No more_ , Donghyuck thinks, as his bikes rounds the corner of his street.

He lets his bike clatter onto the pavement of his driveway before jogging up to the front door.

Donghyuck ignores Chenle’s curious stares as he goes up to his room and rummages through his bedside drawer where his credit card lies unused. He slams the fixture shut before moving onto the bathroom across the hallway, where he swipes his travel toothbrush and stuffs it into his hoodie.

He'll spend the night at a hotel, or something. He doesn't know yet. All Donghyuck does know is that he needs to get far away from his neighbourhood and that he needs to do it quickly, before anyone notices his absence.

So he goes back into his room and sets his shattered phone down on his unmade bed before exiting the space. However, before Donghyuck can even make it down the stairs, he runs into Chenle.

“What's wrong? Why were you slamming...” Chenle pauses, righting Donghyuck as he nearly falls over from the sudden contact. He frowns. “Wait, where are you going?”

“Get out of my way,” Donghyuck says, peeling Chenle’s hands away from where they sit on his shoulder.

“Not until you tell me where you're going,” Chenle argues in response, more stubborn than Donghyuck remembers him being.

“For fuck’s sake,” Donghyuck growls, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Why won't you ever leave me the hell alone? I'm going for a walk. Is that a problem?”

Chenle, who doesn’t seem to be satisfied with Donghyuck’s answer, crosses his arms. “But you just came back,” he notes, grabbing ahold of Donghyuck’s sleeve before he can set off for the stairs once more.

“And now I'm leaving,” Donghyuck says, tugging his arm away from Chenle’s grasp. At least it’s what he’s _trying_ to do. Chenle’s grip is stronger than anything Donghyuck could ever manage in this state. “ _Move_ ,” he orders, giving up.

“No. Tell me the truth.”

“Or what, Chenle?” Donghyuck taunts, taking a step closer to Chenle. “What are you going to do?”

Chenle looks in the direction of their parents’ bedroom. “I'll tell your mom.”

“Do it,” Donghyuck challenges, weakly shoving him towards the door in question. “Tell her that I'll finally be out of her hair.”

Chenle furrows his brows in confusion, his mouth opening and closing as he processed Donghyuck’s words. The latter takes advantage of this moment to slip away, dashing down the stairs before Chenle can reach for him again, and stop him from leaving.

He continues to run even once he makes it outside and stops only when he’s made it out of his neighbourhood.

The traffic at the intersection is at its peak for the day, cars and busses alike tightly packed one in front of the other as they wait for the lights to turn green.

Donghyuck gets onto the first bus willing to let him on despite being nowhere near a stop and pays the fare with a handful of change he manages to dig out of his gym shorts. Just in case, he takes a transfer before hobbling over to the back of the bus, where he sits, quietly sniffing to himself as he tries not to think of Mark and the feeling of betrayal and hurt clawing its way up his throat.

Luckily, the bus isn’t too full, and Donghyuck is able to sob in peace, with no one to judge him too hard.

Not that he’d care if they did.

He’s a mess and it’s what he deserves for ruining everyone else’s lives simply by breathing.

So Donghyuck cries, his sobs drowned out in the sounds of the bus as it cruises through the north side of town and into downtown.

It’s there that Donghyuck’s plans to stay at a hotel until further notice dissolve.

The bus is waiting at yet another intersection, this one neighbouring the central train station.

It makes Donghyuck think of all the time’s he’d take the train to visit his father and Danny every now and then.

Within the next few minutes, Donghyuck has gotten off the bus and purchased himself a ticket for the next train to his Dad’s with his credit card.

He spends a greater part of the train ride anxiously picking at his fingers, trying to fight off the onslaught of dark thoughts that swirl around his foggy brain.

He fails, for by the time he gets off the train, he feels worse than he ever has. It's almost as if he's finally beginning to crumble beneath the weight of all the secrets he's kept to himself over the years. And to pair this feeling with that of betrayal, heartbreak, and _loneliness_ deep within his bones, weighing them down is unbearable.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath and sinks deeper into his seat, the vinyl of the chair squeaking beneath his thighs in response.

The sound is almost deafening to his ears and he hates it. 

He hates how he can clearly hear the sound of his heart beating against his chest at an irregular rhythm.

He hates that he can suddenly hear Jungwoo's voice playing back in his head.

He’s angrily calling out Donghyuck’s full name, every syllable loud and resonant as they bounce off the train station’s dome shaped walls.

It’s enough to chill Donghyuck to the bone.

He stills for a second, confusion taking over his senses.

 _Why would Jungwoo be here?_ He thinks, shifting in his seat. But as unlikely as the thought may have been, Jungwoo can be seen marching towards Donghyuck with fire in his eyes.

Donghyuck gulps, shrinking back into his seat.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” are the first words out of Jungwoo’s mouth upon coming to a stop in front of Donghyuck.

“Jungwoo…” Donghyuck says, frowning. “What?”

The boy in question scoffs. “I can’t believe you’re just sitting here with that stupid look on your face after everything you put us through,” he barks, gesturing wildly.

“But… what are you even doing here?”

“The fuck does it look like? I’m here to get you. So let's go.”

“I didn’t ask for you,” Donghyuck lets out, looking away.

“Does that matter?” Jungwoo shoots back, head cocked. The question is so obviously rhetorical, yet Donghyuck doesn’t have the energy to say anything in retaliation so he stays silent. “Not everything has to be your way, you brat. And consider this a lesson for the next time you try to pull a stunt like this. Running away? What the fuck were you thinking, Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck flinches, thinking the question over.

_What was I thinking?_

Nothing rational, of course.

Truthfully, Donghyuck doesn't know if he'd been thinking to begin with.

Donghyuck looks around the waiting area, unable to meet Jungwoo’s expectant gaze.

“I just wanted to see my dad….” he says, frowning.

“Well,” Jungwoo starts, rolling his eyes. “Sam couldn’t make it.”

Donghyuck clears his throat, hoping to mask an oncoming sob. “Of course he couldn’t,” he laughs sadly, wiping at his teary eyes. “I should’ve known.”

Jungwoo is silent for a moment. When he speaks, Donghyuck half-expects Jungwoo to mock him for being so whiny, but he does the opposite.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, to which Donghyuck slowly shakes his head. Jungwoo sighs. “Come on, let’s go.”

Donghyuck blinks stupidly.  “What? Why?” he says, but complies nonetheless.

“I’m buying you food.” Jungwoo lilts, throwing his arm over Donghyuck’s shoulder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Later, Jungwoo hands one of two Wendy’s take out bags to Donghyuck over the car’s central console, the driver side door slamming shut behind him.

“Here,” he says, watching Donghyuck closely as he accepts the bag. “Eat. You'll feel better.”

Donghyuck hasn’t eaten since breakfast, and while food might not be the cure to his suicidal ideation, it might do something for the dangerous swirling in his stomach. He wraps his fingers around the bag in silence before digging through its contents for the burger Jungwoo ordered for him. He peels back the aluminum wrap.

Donghyuck can clearly see a dollop of mayo threatening to spill out of the burger.

He's allergic to mayo.

He lets out a breathy sigh.

_It isn't fucking fair._

“What?" Jungwoo asks impatiently. "What's wrong?”

“There’s mayo in this,” Donghyuck says, lower lip trembling as he struggles to suppress a sob.

“Fuck, hold up that should be mine.” Jungwoo hisses, using one hand to switch the bags around. “Here, don’t cry. Come on.”

But it's too late. Donghyuck is crying and he feels so stupid and gross and embarrassed but he can't _stop_.

“We’ll be at Sam’s place soon,” Jungwoo says in the attempt to console him. “You’ll be fine.”

Donghyuck doesn't believe it for a second. It feels more like his world is ending with no hope of saving it, but he can't quell his sobs well enough to breathe properly, let alone speak.

He loses his appetite soon after and as much as Jungwoo looks like he wants to yell at Donghyuck for wasting his money, he doesn't.

Instead he refrigerates Donghyuck's meal as soon as they get to his dad's complex.

Donghyuck stands around the living room, his arms circled around his body, as he watches Jungwoo go about passive aggressively doting on him.

“You look tired,” Jungwoo points out once the food has been stored. He then gestures towards the guest room and says: “You can sleep in my room. We’ll talk later.”

Donghyuck blinks, confused. “ _Your_ room?”

“I live here now,” Jungwoo explains, walking over to the living room. “You didn’t know?”

“No one told me,” Donghyuck says quietly, shaking his head. “I don’t get it. Why won’t anyone ever tell me things?”

“What?” Jungwoo frowns.

But before Donghyuck can even open his mouth to answer Jungwoo, the sound of the front door unlocking can be heard. The two boys still, watching in silence as Donghyuck’s father, followed by Danny, walks into the corridor.

The look of anger that crosses his father’s face upon noticing him is enough to bring back the stirring in Donghyuck’s stomach, making him nauseous once more.

“Donghyuck James, I swear to God,” his father curses, his vice-like grip around Danny’s hand going slack as he rushes forward. “Do you even understand how _worried_ we all were? Or do you think this is some joke like everything else?”

His words hit Donghyuck in the chest like a knife. “Dad, I….” he falters, turning to Jungwoo, who offers no assistance, as he is more preoccupied with glaring at his older brother. “I’m sorry,” Donghyuck lets out, turning back to his father.

“There’s kids out there getting kidnapped,” his father continues, gritting his teeth. “You really didn’t think of giving _anyone_ a call?”

Donghyuck shakes his head.

“Of course you didn’t! Don’t you care that something could’ve happened to you and no one would have known.”

“As if you’d even care,” Donghyuck mutters under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest.

His dad frowns. “What?”

“Hyuck, stop,” Jungwoo snaps, putting his hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“As if you, or _anyone_ would care if I died,” Donghyuck reiterates, shoving Jungwoo’s hand away.

“I don’t understand,” his dad says, shaking his head slowly.

“Of course you don’t,” Donghyuck laughs, bitterly mirroring his dad’s earlier statement. The man in question recoils at Donghyuck’s venomous words, bumping into Danny in the process. “I ‘go missing’ and the first thing you do after walking through that door is yell at me. Not even a ‘ _Are you okay, Hyuck_ ? _What happened? Thank God you’re_ _safe!'_ You don’t care. No one does and I’m sick of everyone pretending to.”

“Where is this coming from, Donghyuck?” his father asks with tears in his eyes.

“You tell me,” Donghyuck retorts, blinking away his own, salty tears. “You’re the one who abandoned me when I needed you the most and now look at me. I’m fucking depressed, dad! I don’t go a day without thinking about ending my stupid, shitty ass life. But you wouldn’t know that, would you?”

With that, Donghyuck pushes past his father as well as Danny and exits the apartment.

Donghyuck walks over to the edge of the complex, where the street looks out onto the river and takes a seat on the curb.

It’s there that he cries with everything that he has left in his body. He cries for his family and the way it was before he lost it; he cries for everyone of the friendships he managed to ruin in the span of a few weeks. He weeps for the memories he collected over the years, and for those he’ll never get to make. But more importantly, he cries for _himself_ , because as much as he does hate his life and everything about it, he doesn’t actually want to.

He wants so dearly to be able to wake up in the morning and not be plagued by thoughts of just how much greater everyone else’s lives would be if he just disappeared for good. He wants to be able to walk down the street and _not_ make a mental list of every way he could possibly kill himself. He wishes that even in this moment, he wasn’t seriously considering walking down to the river and throwing himself into its raging waters.

But life isn’t fair, and it’s a fact that Donghyuck knows all too well.

It doesn’t take too long for Donghyuck to lose track of time.

Before he knows it he catches a glimpse of Jungwoo out of the corner of his vision. Donghyuck rolls his eyes, as Jungwoo is the last person he wants to be around.

However, despite his evident disdain, Jungwoo takes a seat next to Donghyuck with an exaggerated exhale.

“Leave me alone,” Donghyuck says quietly.

“You know I can’t do that,” Jungwoo relays, gently nudging Donghyuck’s upper arm.

Donghyuck turns to him and Jungwoo gives him a lazy smile. “ _Great._ ”

“Come on,” Jungwoo starts, his expression turning serious. “After what happened back there, I’d be stupid to leave you alone.”

Donghyuck’s nods slowly, looking away.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jungwoo asks, clearing his throat.

Donghyuck frowns. “Why would I say anything to you?”

“Because I know that keeping these thoughts to yourself is counterproductive,” Jungwoo explains, stretching out his arms. “And it might be hard for you to believe but I don't want you to die.”

“Nice way of showing it,” Donghyuck says plainly. “Besides, you wouldn't understand.”

“Try me.”

“I don't know where to start.” Donghyuck sighs, shaking his head.

Jungwoo hums in acknowledgement as he pensively thumbs at his chin. “Start from the beginning,” he prompts, glancing over at Donghyuck.

“The divorce, I guess.” Donghyuck decides after a brief silence. “That's probably when everything started to go downhill.”

“Makes sense,” Jungwoo says, his tone encouraging. It's something that Donghyuck rarely associates with him, if ever. “Go on.”

Donghyuck scratch the back of his neck as he searches for the right words to convey all the emotions he's tried so hard to suppress over the last few years. “I don't know,” he starts, shrugging. “It was almost like in between all the paperwork, and hearings, and lawyers they forgot about me. Do you know how awful that feels to be caught in the middle of a custody battle?” he asks, looking over at Jungwoo, who watches him intently as he speaks. “It's all about _your_ future and what’s best for _you_ , yet nobody asks you what _you_ want.”

Jungwoo nods in understanding, kicking at a stray pebble at his feet. Donghyuck watches it skip away before continuing.

“Obviously my mom got custody and my dad ended up leaving the city, which I never understood. Ever,” Donghyuck adds, sighing. “At first, I thought that maybe he resented me for being born and ruining his chances of being who he is, you know? Same thing with my mom. It's not like either of them wanted to get married so young. They never planned on having me in the first place, so I kept my mouth shut.”

Donghyuck pauses for a moment, the memories leaving a sour taste on the tip of his tongue.

“Eventually, _I_ started to resent them,” Donghyuck says, continuing his rant. “‘Cause, like, sure you didn't want a kid but that doesn't mean you can just leave me behind to figure things out on my own,” he lets out, his voice too loud in the neighbourhood’s quiet atmosphere.

Despite this, Jungwoo doesn't tell him to quiet down like he normally would. Instead, he remains silent and lets Donghyuck say what he has to say-- what he _deserves_ to say.

“It’s not easy to process so many changes in so little time, but no one ever asked me how I was handling it,” Donghyuck explains, his fists clenching and unclenching as he gestures wildly. “They just expected me to roll with the punches and be okay with it. But I wasn't fucking okay and pretending to be is so exhausting, Jungwoo. For a while, I thought I could convince myself that we could all be a big happy family with Chenle, Robert, and Danny but… _I_ wasn't happy. I'm still not happy,” Donghyuck says, bringing his knees to his chest. He circles his arms around his legs. “And I really fucking thought that bucket list would change things.”

“Bucket list?” Jungwoo echoes curiously.

“It's stupid, but yeah…” Donghyuck sighs, letting his chin rest against his knees. “I made one to distract myself, I guess. But all it did was give me false hope. Now, I don’t even have that.”

Jungwoo nods. “And what about your friends?”

“I don't know,” Donghyuck mutters. “I blew up at them a week ago and haven't heard from them since,” he says before pausing. “They're better off without me anyway.”

“And you really believe that?”

“I mean… yeah. _Everyone_ is better off,” Donghyuck continues. “I'm a piece of shit, Jungwoo. Everyone either leaves me or I push them away before they can. And now the only person willing to talk to me is someone who hates my guts.”

Donghyuck exhales.

He feels lighter now that the words are out in the open.

“I don't, by the way.” Jungwoo says after seconds, maybe even minutes have passed. Donghyuck looks to him and, despite his evident confusion, listens. “I don't hate you.”

Donghyuck frowns. “You don’t have to lie to me to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. I mean, I used to think I hated you,” Jungwoo admits, scratching the back of his head. “ I thought that you had it easy— that you had no expectations from your parents to live up to. It’s why I was such an asshole to you growing up.”

Donghyuck nods slowly.

Because Donghyuck’s father had a kid so young, it’s Jungwoo who was expected to ‘carry on the family’s good name’, unlike his older brother. It’s Jungwoo who was pushed to succeed and to do so without a mistake in sight.

It’s something that Donghyuck was oblivious to when they were younger.

“I regret it now,” Jungwoo continues, surprising Donghyuck. “At the end of the day, you were always one of the few people who’d actually listen to me rant about my stupid problems. Well… when we weren't at each other's throats,” he adds, rolling his eyes. “So no, Hyuck, you're not a piece of shit. You're a kid with lot of emotional baggage that needs to be resolved but you're not a bad person.”

Donghyuck smirks. “You sound like a therapist.”

“Doctor Ji is rubbing off on me,” Jungwoo shrugs in response.

“Wait,” Donghyuck starts, frowning. “You have a therapist?”

Jungwoo nods. “Been seeing him since I came back.”

“Does it help?” Donghyuck asks after yet another moment of silence. “Seeing a doctor, I mean.”

“It’s made some things easier,” Jungwoo explains. “I still have a long way to go, though.”

“Do you think…” Donghyuck falters, clearing his throat. “Maybe I should go see one… Right?”

Jungwoo shrugs. “It’s up to you.”

“Then yeah,” Donghyuck decides. “I’ll start looking.”

“Later, though. It’s getting pretty late,” Jungwoo adds, smiling faintly. “I think we should head back. You up for that?”

“I think it’s time I talk to my dad…” Donghyuck tries. “Maybe I’ll give my mom a call too.”

“Sounds like a solid idea,” Jungwoo offers, standing up.

“Jungwoo?”

“Yeah?” Jungwoo replies, pausing.

“Thank you.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Donghyuck expects to return home the next day to hostility and maybe even a little resentment, but walking through the front door, his dad and Jungwoo, who Donghyuck had spent the greater part of the drive back sleeping against, following close behind him, he is met with nothing but warmth.

“You’re home, you’re safe, and I love you,” his mom says through tears, her nose buried into Donghyuck’s hair. “ _I love you, Donghyuck_ ,” she repeats, rocking him side to side.

At this point, Donghyuck, too is crying, his grip around his mother tightening in a way he didn’t think possible.

They all sit down in the living room to talk things out, making _better_  arrangements to see one another, as well as plans to take Donghyuck to a doctor for some long-awaited counselling.

Chenle and the Chairman come back home after the conversation has long since finished and both of Donghyuck’s parents are talking over a cup of tea in the backyard, leaving Donghyuck and Jungwoo to their own devices.

“Hey guys,” Donghyuck says. “I’m back.”

The Chairman smiles. “Welcome home-”

“You _asshole_ ,” Chenle shoots back, running over to Donghyuck.

Donghyuck can hear Jungwoo cover up a laugh with a cough somewhere off to the side as he stands. It doesn’t take long before he’s fully wrapped up in Chenle’s scrawny arms.

Donghyuck doesn’t push him away. Instead, he throws his own arms around Chenle and hugs him back.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Chenle laughs.

“Me too.”


	10. The Eaters of Light

Donghyuck wakes up the following morning in his own bed, wrapped up in his own lavender scented sheets, to the sound of his phone going on.

Rather than being in this same spot he'd place it before running away last Friday, his phone is on the floor by the foot of his bed. Donghyuck vaguely remembers waking up to push it off his mattress with his feet after it buzzed in the middle of the night, interrupting his sleep.

Donghyuck crawls to the edge of his bed and reaches for the black device with his outstretched fingers.

He opens it to a notification filled with varying game updates, a few messages sent by Jaehyun at 4:31 am, and the most recent: a two worded text from Chenle.

 

**Chenle**

Come downstairs.

**Hyuck**

kk lemme shower first

 

But Donghyuck doesn't shower. At least not right away. He opens Jaehyun's message instead and makes himself comfortable to read it in its entirety.

 

**YAKWTFGO**

hyuck!! I'm sorry I wasn't able to say this earlier, but Sicheng sort of dropped my phone in his pool the other day, but that's beside the point lol

I heard abt what happened from Chenle (he asked me if i’d seen you or if I knew anything about you being depressed) and it made me realize that, as much as I wanted to help, I couldn’t! ik that our age difference might make things a lil awkward for u ㅠㅠ but I rly do hope that, in the future, u let me know how ur feeling. it doesn’t have to be all the time, but if u ever need to voice ur thoughts, Jung Yoonoh is here for u!!! love u bro.

to the moon and back, or whatever

**Hyuck**

Ily2 :((

AND I’m sorry :/

**YAKWTFGO**

don’t be!

I’m just glad ur here hehe

u owe me boba tho

love u

 

Donghyuck sighs and sets his phone down after that, feeling both warm and optimistic. The latter is something he hasn’t truly felt in too long so he revels in it as he walks over to the bathroom for a quick shower.

Donghyuck changes into a pair of sweats and a tie dye shirt from the bottom of his clean hamper before heading downstairs, a small towel still dabbing at his damp hair (it’s long gotten long enough to warrant this).

However, before Donghyuck can even make it down the stairs, his ears pick up the sounds of hushed voices coming from the foyer. He stills at the first landing, trying to decipher the conversation. Unfortunately, he is too far, so he continues to slowly make his way down the wooden steps.

“Fuck,” he curses once he makes it to the last step.

Waiting for him at the bottom of the staircase are Jeno, Renjun, and Jaemin.

The three of them are sitting side by side on the decorative bench tucked against the wall by the coat closet. Waiting.

For _him_.

They look up at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice, before standing all at once.

“Hi,” Donghyuck croaks, looking between the three.

It’s crazy, Donghyuck thinks, how he didn’t truly realize just how much it is he missed seeing their faces until this very moment. Now that he’s begun to open up about the dark thoughts that _used_ to weigh him down, he’s left with no choice than to face his emotions head on.

Donghyuck can feel a single hot tear trace the outline of his nose as his grip on the staircase’s final bannister tightens.

He isn’t embarrassed though, for before he can open his mouth to speak once more, Jaemin is darting over to him with his arms wide open.

Donghyuck reciprocates without missing a beat, throwing himself into Jaemin’s arms as the younger boy begins to sob.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck exhales shakily, burying his nose into Jaemin’s head.

“I’m so sorry,” Jaemin coughs, raising his head enough to look Donghyuck in the eyes.

“ _I’m_ sorry,” Donghyuck cries, shaking his head before nuzzling into Jaemin’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Jaemin laughs tearfully. “Are you guys just going to stand there or are you going to join us?” he then asks.

The question is directed to Jeno, who is sniffling quietly to himself, and Renjun who is full on sobbing into his shirtsleeve. Despite this, it’s Jeno who runs over first.

“I missed you so much,” Jeno sobs, clinging onto Donghyuck.

“I missed you guys too,” Donghyuck bawls. “I’m sorry.”

“We were all assholes to each other,” Renjun wails, joining the circle.

“Definitely,” Jaemin agrees.

“I think…” Jeno starts, sniffling loudly into Donghyuck’s ear. “I think it’s time we talk things out.”

Donghyuck couldn’t agree more.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After they've all settled in his bedroom, it doesn’t take too long after that for Donghyuck to be briefed on the timeline of Jaemin and Jeno’s _unexpected_ relationship.

Apparently, they’d bonded the night of Renjun’s party, long after the last few guests had left. The two boys had been cleaning; picking up red solo cups that littered the floor, and wiping away any beer spills they may have missed _during_ the party.

According to Jeno, everything changed the very second SNSD’s Lion Heart— one of Jaemin’s all-time favourites— began to play from the speakers. The music had been loud enough that by the time Jeno slammed Jaemin against the pantry door and kissed him silly (“He looked so cute dancing to it... I just couldn’t resist, okay?”), neither Renjun or Sicheng could hear it.

“Wait, so you had no idea?” Donghyuck asks, nudging Renjun’s forearm.

“Not until that day at the pool,” Renjun confirms. “Biggest shock of my life, honestly. The only chemistry these two had together was first semester, fifth period.”

Jeno looks as if he’s about to protest when Jaemin shushes him with an affectionate pat on the cheek.

“What even happened that day?” Donghyuck continues, as there are still some missing pieces to the puzzle that he’s desperate to make sense of.

“Oh, we broke up,” Jaemin laughs, nonchalant.

“What?” Donghyuck blurts. “Why?”

Jaemin smiles. “Jeno’s a _dick_.”

“Hey,” Jeno pouts.

“It’s okay, cutie.” Jaemin chuckles, giving Jeno’s nose an honest-to-God _boop_.

“Gross,” Renjun laments, looking away from the couple. “Anyways, I probably would have blabbed if I didn’t suspect you of still having feelings for Jaemin.”

Donghyuck lets out a loud laugh before catching himself. “Which I don’t,” he says quickly, looking over at Jeno. “Like, seriously. He’s all yours, dude. But, like, not in the weird toxic way…” Donghyuck adds. “Fuck with him and I’ll kill you, bro.”

Jeno shrugs. “Fair enough, bro.”

“Man…” Donghyuck sighs, watching as Jaemin runs his fingers through Jeno’s hair. “I wish I hadn’t been so impatient with you guys.”

“We didn’t really give you the chance to _not_ be,” Jaemin says evenly.

“Yeah,” Jeno agrees, sitting up. “What we did was fucked up.”

“I threw ice cream at you,” Donghyuck argues, deadpan.

“I survived,” Jeno snorts, giving Donghyuck a flash of his teeth as he smiles. “But seriously. We all had a part to play in what happened.”

“That’s true,” Donghyuck says. “But I don’t want you guys to blame yourselves for me wanting to… you know? That wouldn’t be fair to any of you. And to avoid this sort of mess, I promise to be more honest with you guys,” Donghyuck swears, placing his hand on his heart.

It’ll take some time for him to grow comfortable with the concept of emotional honesty, but he’s willing to do what it takes if it means keeping the people that he loves in his life.

“So do we,” Renjun says, mirroring Donghyuck’s gesture.

Both Jeno and Jaemin nod. “You’ll be the first to know if we break up again,” the latter says, grinning.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes playfully. “And if I ever run away again, you won’t have to hear it through Chenle.”

“Chenle?” Renjun echoes, brows furrowed. Donghyuck nods. “He’s not the one that told us.”

“Really? Then who did?”

Renjun pauses, thinking Donghyuck’s question over. “Pretty sure it was Mark that told us first,” he says after a few seconds have passed.

Donghyuck stills.

For some reason, he has a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that, despite everything, Mark was the one to relay this information to his friends. Mark, who Donghyuck hasn’t really thought much of in the midst of thing-- or rather, the boy that Donghyuck hasn’t given himself the chance to think about over the last few days, because as much as he is trying to be honest about his emotions, Donghyuck isn’t quite sure of what he feels for Mark.

And not to mention that he’s still upset with Mark for leaving out the fact that he’s leaving the country indefinitely.

“I had no idea,” Donghyuck mumbles, ignoring the strange feeling in his gut. “What did he say? He wasn't mad, was he?”

“Mad? God no, he sounded more fucked up than anything,” Jeno explains. “He told us about what you said and asked if we knew. That was pretty much it.”

 _So he even left out all those mean things I said to him?_ Donghyuck thinks, unable to make sense of _any_ of this information.

“I should probably thank him, then,” he says, though it sounds more like a question that anything. “Or apologize. I don’t know.”

“Maybe,” Jaemin hums, his head tilted as he watches Donghyuck. “Would that make you feel better?”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“That’s fine,” Jaemin smiles. “You don’t have to think about it right now.”

“Yeah, you’ve got time, right?” Jeno adds.

“That's the problem, though. We don’t,” Donghyuck confesses, looking up at the ceiling. “He’s moving in a few weeks.”

Renjun gasps. “Oh my God, I forgot.”

"Wait, where's he going?" Jaemin asks, frowning.

Donghyuck sighs. “Korea.”

“Shit,” Jeno curses.

“You think the two of you are gonna be cool by the time he leaves?” Jaemin asks.

“Yeah, I’ll just visit him at work,” Donghyuck declares, leaving out the fact that he doesn’t think he could stomach seeing Mark’s house now that he knows the truth. “Maybe later today.”

But later today becomes, tomorrow, and then another tomorrow so that by the time Donghyuck _does_ see Mark, three days have passed; slowly, uneventfully, and painfully so.

It’s Chenle who ends up dragging Donghyuck to the mall.

“I need new shoes,” he’d said before coaxing Donghyuck out of his bedroom (read: cave).

“What does that have to do with me?”

“I’d like your opinion.”

Donghyuck knows it’s just a plot hatched by his mother to get him out of the house for the day and get some fresh air or something along those lines.

“I’ll even get you boba-”

“Sold.”

Which brings Donghyuck to his current situation.

Donghyuck’s cup of bubble tea (large taro with _extra_ tapioca) nearly falls over as he rushes to hide behind the mall’s LED directory. His other hand is tugging at Chenle’s arm, leading him in the same direction.

“What the hell?” Chenle mutters, looking up at Donghyuck with narrowed eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry,” Donghyuck laughs. “I needed to tie my shoes.”

Chenle looks down at Donghyuck’s feet. “You’re wearing slides.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I…” Chenle starts, before cutting himself off. “Nevermind.”

He sighs, shaking his head, as he walks around Donghyuck to walk into Foot Locker. Donghyuck lets out a cry of protest, latching onto Chenle’s arm once more.

“ _What?_ ”

“I can’t go in there,” Donghyuck finally says, gradually digging his fingers into Chenle’s bicep. “Mark’s working.”

“Oh,” Chenle breathes, nodding slowly. He looks over his shoulder and Donghyuck can see the recognition in his eyes once he spots Mark milling about the store in his uniform. “We could just go to Champs, I guess-”

“No, it’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, you can get your shoes here. I’m just a little scared,” Donghyuck admits, finally retracting his hand. He then brings it up to his hair, anxiously smoothing it down. “Of, like, seeing him.”

Chenle nods again, only this time, he’s frowning. “What even happened between the two of you?” he asks, seeming genuinely curious.

Donghyuck sighs. “We had a fight.”

“ _Did he hurt you?_ ”

“No,” Donghyuck promises, shaking his head. “Not physically.”

“That doesn’t make it any better, Hyuck.” Chenle says, somewhat angrily. “I’m gonna talk to him-”

“ _Stop_ ,” Donghyuck pleads, reaching for Chenle’s arm.

“Well, if you won’t then I will,” Chenle shoots back, dodging Donghyuck’s hand.

“ _Oh my God. Fine_ ,” Donghyuck groans, crossing his arms. “I’ll talk to him.”

Chenle smiles. “Good.”

“You little-” Donghyuck cuts himself off, slowing his eyes. “Go buy your shoes.”

Donghyuck gives Chenle a quick shove in the store’s direction. The latter yelps, but does as he's told and walks through the store’s archway.

Donghyuck, on the other hand, doesn't make it into the store. Instead, he stands beneath the glowing Foot Locker sign, frozen. He's seriously considering making a run for it and hopping on the next bus home _without_ Chenle.

Though before he can even whirl around and leave, Lucas Wong calls out his name, his booming voice loud enough to get _everyone's_ attention.

“Hyuck Lee! Long time no see, eh buddy?”

Donghyuck grimaces, walking over to Lucas, who gives him a too hard pat on the back.

“Hey, Lucas.” Donghyuck says quietly.

Out of the corner of his vision, Donghyuck can see Mark watch the two of them intently.

It's unnerving.

“Can I help you with anything?” Lucas asks, putting on an excited smile. “We got these _nice ass_ low-tops in this morning and-”

“Actually, he doesn’t need any help,” Chenle says, appearing from out of _nowhere._ “I do.”

“Word,” Lucas drawls, looking down at Chenle. “You wanna see some low-tops? They’re sick.”

Chenle gives Donghyuck a sly smirk before turning back to Lucas. “Lead the way,” he says, dramatically waving his arm around in a half curtsy sort of gesture.

Lucas laughs, complying as he walks Chenle over to the other side of the store. Donghyuck sighs deeply once he’s finally alone, trying not to psych him himself out of doing the one thing he’s here to do. Apart from giving Chenle his opinion on shoes, of course. Donghyuck takes a step back, ready to turn on his heels and head towards the till where Mark had been busy helping a customer just seconds ago.

But things don’t always go as planned and Donghyuck finds himself walking right into the boy in question.

“ _Mark_.”

“Hyuck,” Mark says quietly, steadying Donghyuck by the shoulders. “Hi.”

“C-can we talk?” Donghyuck lets out, clearing his throat as Mark pulls his hands away. Donghyuck glances over his shoulder and his eyes are met with Chenle’s. The latter is ignoring whatever Lucas is telling him in favour of _glaring_ in Mark’s direction, skepticism on his face as clear as day. Donghyuck turns back to Mark. “Outside, maybe?”

“I was just about to say the same,” Mark relays, nodding quickly.

“Great,” Donghyuck says, feeling relieved.

“Uh, Lucas?” Mark calls. “I’m going on my fifteen.”

Lucas gives him two thumbs up in response, prompting Mark to walk out of the store. Donghyuck follows him into the corridor, his hands tucked into the pockets of his shorts.

“So…” Donghyuck starts once Mark stops by the benches in the middle of the corridor. He sets his cup down on the bench next to them. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” Mark says, grinning slightly. “How are _you_?”

“Better,” Donghyuck shrugs, kicking at the mall’s carpeted floor. He looks up at Mark. “But there’s still some things I need to figure out. About… life, or whatever. At least that’s what my therapist says.”

“You’re seeing a therapist now?” Mark wonders, brows raised. “That’s great.”

“I guess it is,” Donghyuck laughs, scratching the back of his head. “I’ve only seen her once, though. So don’t get too excited.”

“I won’t,” Mark affirms, shaking his head. “But… I am glad that you’re getting help.”

Donghyuck smiles. “Me too.”

They’re quiet after that; nothing but the sounds of the shopping centre’s patrons rushing about to serve as background music for the two of them. It isn’t necessarily awkward, but Donghyuck still has _so much_ to say—so much to _ask_.

So he does.

“Hyuck, I-”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

They both freeze.

“You first,” Donghyuck says eventually, his head cocked in curiosity.

“I just wanted to apologize. For that,” Mark sighs and his eyes are sad. “For not telling you. It was a dick move and no amount of excuses will ever change that.”

“I want to know why, though.” Donghyuck prods, crossing his arms. “For peace of mind, or whatever.”

“I guess… I didn’t expect for us to get so close,” Mark admits with a small shrug.

Truthfully, Donghyuck feels the same way.

From the get-go, their friendship had never exactly been traditional. They went from barely acquainted classmates to whatever the hell it is they were in such a short amount of time.

Not even befriending Jaemin back in preschool had been that fast, he thinks as he looks Mark up and down, reminiscing on every second the two of them spent together.

Donghyuck meets Mark’s eyes.

“You _really_ caught me off guard,” Mark continues, holding Donghyuck’s gaze.

“That makes two of us,” Donghyuck says quietly, hating the fluttering feeling he feels in his chest at the sound of Mark’s words. So he changes the subject. “When do you leave?”

“Next Friday.”

Donghyuck sighs, straightening his posture. “Then let’s make the most of what little time we have left, I guess.”

Mark blinks. “You’re not mad?”

“I am, but… I wasn’t exactly honest to you either,” Donghyuck figures, shrugging. “Consider this a clean slate.”

Mark nods. “A makeup test.”

It’s a reference to the night they first kissed at Renjun’s party.

As much as he’d like to, Donghyuck can’t help the laughter that bubbles inside of him. He laughs, mostly embarrassed at the memory and the ridiculousness of it all.

Mark watches him in silence, the hint of a smile tugging at his own lips as he does. However, it’s gone sooner than it’d appeared, and in a matter of seconds, Mark is throwing his arms around Donghyuck’s smaller frame.

“What’s this for?” Donghyuck asks, instinctively, running his hands up and down Mark’s back.

Mark inhales shakily. “ _I was so scared_.”

Donghyuck’s hands still, his eyes widening as he says: “I’m sorry.”

Mark tightens the hug in response, resting his head against Donghyuck’s shoulder as he does.

They stay like that for a while, Mark gently rocking the two of them side to side while Donghyuck does his best to hold back his tears.

He’s done enough crying over the last week and would rather not add the mall to his of ‘Random Places I’ve Cried At This Year’ list.

They only pull away when Mark starts to laugh, his giggles strong enough to send a wave of chills down Donghyuck’s spine.

“What?” Donghyuck asks, holding Mark at an arm’s length away.

“Your brother is glaring at me.”

“You’re joking….” Donghyuck grunts, craning his neck in the Foot Locker’s direction. Chenle is standing next to a rack of discounted shoes with a shopping bag in his hands. He’s _still_ glaring at Mark despite having been caught. Donghyuck sighs, turning back to Mark. “I’ll see you later.”

Mark smiles, laughing quietly before walking back into the store. He gives Chenle a quick nod before rushing over to the cashier’s till.

“The hell were you looking at?” Donghyuck commands, picking up his cup of boba once more as he watches Chenle walk over to him.

“You never said…” Chenle mutters, eyeing Donghyuck curiously. “I didn’t know you two were a thing.”

Donghyuck stops in his tracks. “We aren’t.”

Chenle grins. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Shut up,” Donghyuck curses, resuming his walking in order to catch up with Chenle. “You’re buying me food on the way home.”

“But I got you boba.”

“And now I’m hungry,” Donghyuck smiles, throwing his arm over Chenle’s shoulder.

Chenle sighs. “Fine.”


	11. World Enough and Time

Change continues to be constant in Donghyuck’s life, but unlike the last time, he is learning to keep up.

There are still times during which he finds himself struggling to stay afloat, and he senses the telltale signs of an oncoming panic attack, but with the help of his therapist, Donghyuck is beginning to find better coping mechanisms than the ones he’d adopted before to ease the process.

Donghyuck can’t help but feel proud of himself every time he leaves the house—  _without_ having to be told by his mother to, might he add— even if it's just to walk over to the park for some fresh air.

And it hasn’t been too long, but Donghyuck is back to trying out the things he used to love. Things that used to make him feel purposeful without the help of a wrinkled sheet of paper he scribbled on while high out of his mind.

In fact, Donghyuck’s bucket list lies untouched at the bottom of his sock drawer as the week goes by.

And Donghyuck doesn’t even think about the list, for his mind is more preoccupied with other things, such as once again believing that he _deserves_ to be happy and that he deserves to have his friends— Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, and even Mark, the newest addition to their small group— in his life.

Currently, they’re all sitting in the back row of one of the theatre’s many auditoriums, waiting out the long string of adverts displayed on the large screen before playing _It_.

Donghyuck doesn’t pay attention to them, as he’s more intrigued by the set of Mark’s eyes as as he quietly, yet excitedly, speaks to Jaemin about the latest Game of Thrones episode. The lighting in the cinema may be dim, but from where he sits next to him, Donghyuck can tell that Mark’s eyes are twinkling with excitement.

If he looks close enough, he swears he might even be able to see galaxies in Mark’s eyes that rival those screen-printed onto his vintage Doctor Who t-shirt.

Mark laughs at something Jaemin says and Donghyuck thinks he might die.

Mark is cute. So cute that Donghyuck can't help the smile that grows on his face when Mark glances over at him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Donghyuck lies, shaking his head. “I was just looking at your shirt. It's cute.”

“Really? Thank you,” Mark exclaims, beaming. “I had a feeling you’d like it.”

And just like that, Mark's attention is stolen by Jaemin once more, leaving Donghyuck to mull his words over.

“Holy shit,” Donghyuck curses, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

“Hyuck, you good?” Renjun asks from Donghyuck’s right, nudging his shoulder. Donghyuck pauses too long before answering. “Come with me.”

“Where?” Donghyuck asks, hesitating.

“I don't know... Popcorn?” Renjun tries. “I’ll get you something too.”

“Me too?”

It's Jaemin, looking up at Renjun, who is now standing.

“Get your boyfriend to buy you something,” Renjun shoots back, kissing his teeth.

“Damn,” Jeno laughs. “I'll get you some Chipotle later, okay?”

“My hero.”

Renjun groans, turning on his heels to go down the aisle.

Donghyuck follows tentatively, but only after reciprocating the small smile Mark sends his way at Renjun's antics.

Donghyuck darts down the stairs in order to catch up with Renjun at the bottom.

They walk to the concession station side by side in relative silence.

Relative, because while Donghyuck hasn't said a single word, Renjun is grumbling to himself, his words too small and distorted to decipher.

Donghyuck doesn't know whether he should be concerned or not. He keeps an eye on Renjun as they head towards the counter.

In the distance, Donghyuck can spot Chanhee Kang lazing around his work station, seemingly bored out of his mind.

Renjun seems to notice, for he stops his grumbling. Confusion replaces the frustration on his face as they walk up to the counter.

Chanhee squints. “Oh hey.”

“You didn’t tell me you’d be working,” Renjun says, ignoring the greeting.

“Well… you didn’t tell me you’d be coming,” Chanhee counters, shrugging. “I could’ve gotten you in for free.”

“True. Wanna make it up to me with a large popcorn?” Renjun offers, leaning over the counter. Chanhee grins, rolling his eyes.

“Why not,” he says.

“Extra butter,” Renjun demands. “I want it greasy as hell.”

Chanhee’s eyes widen. “You trying to clog your arteries?”

“Yes,” Renjun sighs, pushing himself off the counter. “This is a cry for help, Chanhee. Take me out of my misery, for I no longer wish to be a fifth wheel.”

At that, it's Donghyuck's turn to squint.

“Yikes…” Chanhee hisses before lowering his voice to a whisper. “I’ll throw in a large orange soda too?”

“I love you,” is Renjun's response.

Donghyuck swears he can see the tips of Chanhee's ears redden in response.

“Anything for you, Hyuck?” Chanhee clears his throat. The sound is enough to snap Donghyuck out of his confused trance. “It’s on the house.”

“Uh, Sprite sounds good?”

Renjun snorts, patting Donghyuck's shoulder. “My boy’s thirsty.”

One look at Donghyuck's face is enough to stop the laughter that threatens to leave Chanhee's lips. The boy apologizes and goes to prepare their orders.

Donghyuck looks down at Renjun. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” Renjun smirks, leaning against the counter again.

“Come on,” Donghyuck scoffs, crossing his arms. “Thirsty? Fifth wheel? What are you even talking about?”

“Jaemin and Jeno… you and Mark…” Renjun lists, counting on his fingers. Donghyuck nearly chokes on his saliva. “Do I really need to spell it out for you?”

“ _Me and Mark_?”

“ _I mean_ ,” Renjun reiterates, dramatically lolling his head back and forth in an exaggerated nod. “Aren’t the two of you, like, together?”

“No!” Donghyuck exclaims.

Renjun blinks. “But… you’re _always_ together.”

“Okay?” Donghyuck laughs. “I could literally say the same about you and Chanhee.”

Renjun lets out a bark of laughter. “ _Huh_?”

“You’re _always_ together,” Donghyuck mocks.

Renjun snorts. “And we’re both straight.”

Chanhee, who is halfway through sliding their drinks over the counter, stills and reddens.

_Again._

And just like before, Renjun doesn't notice.

But Renjun doesn't seem to notice many things to begin with. That, or he’s oblivious. Or in denial. Donghyuck isn’t sure.

He is, however, one hundred percent sure that he’d walked in on Chanhee making out with that Sam Arredondo kid in Chenle’s grade back at Lucas’ after semi.

Anyway, that’s besides the point.

Donghyuck and Mark are _not_ a thing.

Donghyuck is well aware of the fact that Mark doesn’t see him as anything more than a friend. He knows that he’ll have to get over his unresolved, more-than-friendly, could-be-romantic feelings towards Mark.

Donghyuck knows that it’s something he’ll have to do eventually, but in the meantime, he’s willing to keep said feelings under wraps.

At least until Mark leaves on the twenty sixth.

He just hopes that he’ll be able to make it through Mark’s going away party tomorrow night without any hiccups.

“Uh… here’s your popcorn,” Chanhee says, bringing Donghyuck back to reality.

“Thanks, kiddo,” Renjun grins, sticking his drink into the tray. “I’ll text you later.”

Chanhee smiles. “I’ll be waiting.”

Renjun gives him a wink, lifting his tray off the counter, and walks away.

Donghyuck, on the other hand, is cemented to the floor, looking between the two of them.

“You coming?” Renjun asks, briefly glancing over his shoulder.

Donghyuck gives Chanhee one last look before grabbing his drink and runs off, calling: “Right behind you.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Donghyuck wakes up the morning of Mark’s party feeling rather nauseous.

He skips breakfast in favour of sitting in the bathroom across the hall for an hour to no avail.

“I feel sick,” Donghyuck says, walking into Chenle’s bedroom.

“It’s probably just nerves,” Chenle replies, watching as Donghyuck plops onto his bed.

“What makes you say that?”

“Don’t be so defensive,” Chenle says, nudging Donghyuck’s foot with his own. “Mark is leaving the country in a couple of days. Of course you’re going to be nervous.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck breathes, pouting. “Right.”

“Trust me,” Chenle laughs. “I felt the same when my mom moved back to Shanghai.”

Donghyuck stills for a moment.

It hits him that this is the first time he's ever heard Chenle speak of his birth mother, or rather, it hits him that this is the first time he's actually _listened_ to the younger boy speak about his life  _before_ either of their families even met.

It doesn't sit well with Donghyuck.

“But that’s your mom. Obviously you’d be upset,” Donghyuck counters, his tone much softer than it'd been before. He sits up. “Mark is just a friend.”

Chenle shrugs, but there's a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Same principle."

Donghyuck groans into one of Chenle's pillows.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Donghyuck learns that Chenle is right the moment he follows him and Jaehyun into Lucas Wong’s house later that night and spots Mark standing at the top of the staircase.

He’s speaking with Jinyoung Bae from student council about something Donghyuck can’t make out from where he stands in the foyer.

Donghyuck takes a long and painful glance at Mark’s attire— a light blue collared shirt, fitted black dress pants, and a goddamn _bowtie—_  and finds that it reminds him all too much of what he’d worn back at Renjun’s the night they first kissed.

Donghyuck gulps, his grip on Jaehyun’s bicep tightening.

“Dude." Jaehyun warns, glaring at Donghyuck's fingers.

“Sorry, I…” Donghyuck falters, his eyes darting between Jaehyun’s confused appearance and Mark as he heads down the stairs and _towards them_. “I’m fucked.”

“Oh?” Jaehyun breathes, following Donghyuck’s gaze. He spots Mark and grins knowingly. “ _Oh_.”

“You made it!” Mark exclaims once he finally reaches the trio.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Chenle shrugs, lazily scanning the crowd. Probably for Jisung Park, who also happens to be Lucas’ neighbour.

“Yeah, tonight’s a pretty big deal,” Jaehyun smirks. “Bora’s even letting these two out of the house an hour past curfew.”

Mark hums, clearly intrigued. Donghyuck's mouth dries. “Really?”

Jaehyun nods. “Still gotta get ‘em home by one, though.”

“That’s no problem,” Mark decides, locking eyes with Donghyuck for the first time since the conversation began. He takes a sip out of his red cup, his eyes not once leaving Donghyuck’s. “We have more than enough time.”

“Right,” Donghyuck croaks, swallowing thickly.

“Come on,” Mark says, holding out his free hand. “I’ll get you a drink.”

Donghyuck blinks, looking down at Mark’s outstretched fingers.

Jaehyun shoves him forward, saying: “Go have fun, you weirdo.”

Donghyuck hesitates, looking up at Mark.

Mark is smiling, the stars in his eyes shining brighter than anything Donghyuck has ever seen in his life, as he looks down at him expectantly.

And Donghyuck is weak, his adoration for Mark overshadowing his fear, even if just for a fleeting moment.

So Donghyuck takes his hand.

His grip might be a little too tight, but Mark doesn’t seem to mind and Donghyuck is grateful. He doesn’t what he’d do if he had to let go. He knows it’s stupid but he’s scared that if he were to let go, Mark would disappear into the sea of partygoers and Donghyuck wouldn’t be able to find him for the rest of the night.

 _And tonight is all we have_.

Donghyuck looks at the back of Mark’s head as they travel through the house.

Does Mark know how he feels? Does he know that Donghyuck will miss him a little more than what should be acceptable of a friend? Does Mark have _any idea_ of the things he has the power to make Donghyuck feel with just the flash of a smile?

“What are you in the mood for?” Mark asks, successfully bringing Donghyuck back to reality.

They're standing in Lucas' kitchen, where a make-shift bar is laid out across the marble countertops.

“I don’t know…" Donghyuck says quietly. "I don’t feel like drinking.”

“I feel that,” Mark laughs, bringing his cup to Donghyuck’s nose.

It’s plain ice water.

“You’re not drinking?” Donghyuck asks, looking up at Mark curiously.

Mark shakes his head. “I want to remember tonight.”

Mark then briefly lets go of his hand to fix him a cup of water before leading him the way to the living room, where a small group of people are sitting around in a circle chatting amongst themselves.

Donghyuck doesn’t pay attention, though.

He’s too busy running Mark’s words through his head over and over.

 _I want to remember tonight_.

It’s the same thing that Donghyuck wants— to be able to look back at this night and for his memories to remain clear and untouched by the distorting effects of a steady buzz.

He wants to be able to look back at this moment and remember exactly how it felt to it so close to Mark; to see him smiling and laughing without a care in the world.

But more importantly, Donghyuck wants these memories to mean something.

Though he can’t help but wonder if they will ever mean as much to Mark as they do to him.

The thought terrifies him.

It terrifies Donghyuck to think— no, to _know_ that every moment they shared— every one of the events that led up this this one; of them sitting here on the couch in Lucas’ living room, will never mean the same thing to the both of them.

It terrifies Donghyuck to know that Mark will never know the way that he feels.

_But it’s for the best, right?_

“Right,” Donghyuck finds himself saying out loud with false certainty.

Beside him, Mark shifts, tearing his attention away from the conversations that surround them.

“What’d you say?”

“I need to pee,” Donghyuck lies, standing up.

Mark frowns. “You know where the bathroom is?”

“I’ll find it,” Donghyuck says, rushing out of the room.

Donghyuck wanders around the first floor for a while before making his way up the main staircase. The second floor should be much quieter and he's hoping to find a place to gather his thoughts before it's too late and he's forced to deal with a panic attack in the middle of a party.

The task isn't an easy one, for he _literally_  runs into Jaemin once he reaches the final step.

Fortunately, Jaemin grabs ahold of Donghyuck's arm, stopping him from tumbling down the staircase, and ultimately breaking a few bones.

“Holy shit,” Donghyuck curses, holding onto Jaemin for dear life.

“I got you,” Jaemin grunts, pulling Donghyuck back onto even ground.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath, retracting his hands to wipe them against his shorts. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Jaemin smiles, leading Donghyuck further away from the staircase. “But you look pretty shaken up. You’re not about to have panic attack, are you?”

“I don't know,” Donghyuck says, shaking his head. “I don’t fucking know!"

“Come, let’s find you a nice quiet spot.”

Donghyuck nods, prompting Jaemin to lead the way to _wherever_.

“When did you get here?” Donghyuck asks, with a newfound desperation to fill the silence. He looks around the empty corridor. “Are the others here?”

“We just got here. And yeah, they're here but we split up to look for you when you wouldn’t answer our texts,” Jaemin explains, twisting the knob of the first door on the left. He frowns upon realizing that it’s locked. “Guess I got lucky.”

“I left my phone in Jaehyun’s car….” Donghyuck relays, his tone apologetic.

“It’s okay,” Jaemin promises, moving on to the next door.

It's unlocked.

There’s a bedroom on the other side, probably Lucas’, Donghyuck figures after taking one glance at the anime posters that cover most of the room's four walls.

Jaemin waits for Donghyuck to make himself comfortable on the chair that sits in front of Lucas’ desk before closing the door behind him.

Once the door clicks into place, he turns to Donghyuck. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Donghyuck looks down at his clammy fingers, weighing his options.

He could tell Jaemin that everything’s fine and that he’s just feeling a little anxious about being at a party for the first time in a while. But by doing so, he’d feel guilty for not only _lying_ to his best friend, but for undoing some of the progress he’s made over the last week.

He’d just go back to being the emotionally constipated wreck he was at the beginning of the summer.

He doesn't want that.

So, he tells Jaemin the truth.

“I like Mark,” Donghyuck finally says, looking up at Jaemin.

The latter’s eyebrows shoot up at the long awaited revelation.

“Does he know?”

“No, but I do, and…” Donghyuck pauses, taking a shaky breath. “I thought I could make it through the night without saying anything for the sake of our friendship, but it’s hard,” he continues, wringing his fingers. “I’m going to miss him _so much_. It’s not fucking fair.”

By now, Donghyuck is crying, quiet sobs ripping through his ribcage as he struggles to fight the salty tears that pool in his eyes.

It’s futile, really, but Donghyuck can’t help it.

Jaemin crouches down in front of him and carefully places his hand on Donghyuck’s thigh. The latter, overcome with contradicting emotions, throws his arms around Jaemin and pulls him close.

Jaemin doesn’t fight it.

Instead, his shoulders relax as he begins to rub soothing circles into Donghyuck’s back and lets him cry.

“You wanna know what I think?” Jaemin says carefully after minutes have passed and Donghyuck’s breathing has evened out considerably.

“Sure,” Donghyuck sniffles, his voice muffled by the fabric of Jaemin’s jacket.

“You should tell him.”

Donghyuck freezes, his eyes wide. “I don’t know if I can, though,” he protests, shaking his head. “I’m scared.”

“That’s fair. Confessing is scary,” Jaemin chuckles, his hand stilling against Donghyuck’s back. “But sometimes, keeping those feelings to yourself will only make things worse for yourself in the long run. Don’t you think you deserve to lift that weight off your shoulders?”

“Fuck,” Donghyuck swears, squeezing his eyes shut. For a second, his mind flashes back to Mark’s birthday— the night the two of them sat in his backyard talking about everything and nothing. When he opens his eyes, he’s in Lucas’ room, his face buried in Jaemin’s shoulder. “You sound just like him.”

Jaemin laughs, as Donghyuck pulls away far enough to clearly see his face.

“So,” Jaemin drawls, tilting his head to the side. “What do you say?”

Donghyuck wipes at the corner of his eyes, sniffling. “I’ll do it.”

“Good! You might want to do it soon, though,” Jaemin suggests, grimacing. “It’s almost time for your curfew.”

Donghyuck frowns. “What time is it?”

Jaemin reaches into the back pocket of his jeans for his phone and unlocks it. “It’s twelve fourty.”

“ _Shit_.”

At that, Jaemin stands. “I’ll walk you out?”

“No, I think I’ll have to do this on my own,” Donghyuck refuses, standing up as well. He pauses, halfway to the door. “But could you distract Jaehyun and Chenle while I talk to him?”

“Fuck yes.”

“I love you," Donghyuck says, meaning it.

“Love you too, buddy.” Jaemin chuckles, ruffling Donghyuck’s hair. “And good luck.”

“Thanks,” Donghyuck smiles, reaching for the doorknob. “Here goes nothing.”

Donghyuck walks out of the room and into the hallway.

His pace increases once he reaches the staircase and he quickly makes his way down to the first floor.

Donghyuck finds Mark in the kitchen, talking to two boys he's never met in his life. He considers coming back in five minutes when Mark notices him standing in the doorway and calls his name.

“Don’t mind me,” Donghyuck pleads, shaking his head. “I was just… looking for chips. Carry on.”

“Don’t be like that,” Mark retorts, waving Donghyuck over. “Come meet my friends.”

Contrary to what Donghyuck expects, the two strangers don’t seemed to be annoyed with his presence at all once he approaches them.

“This is Guanlin,” Mark says, gesturing to the taller boy, before moving onto the shorter one. “And that’s Jihoon. We all played Junior Knights together.”

“Oh, I see," Donghyuck nods, giving the two of them a small wave. "I’m Hyuck.”

“We were gonna check out the keg just now," Jihoon says, pointing towards the door that leads to the basement. "Wanna come?”

“He’s not drinking tonight,” Mark says in his place, surprising Donghyuck.

“That’s chill,” Jihoon shrugs.

Guanlin nods. “It was nice meeting you, though.”

“Same here,” Donghyuck lets out, laughing awkwardly.

"See ya," the two boys say in unison, giving Mark aggressive pats on his shoulders before walking out.

Donghyuck lets out a loud sigh once they’re finally gone.

“Hold on,” Mark frowns, reaching for Donghyuck’s hand. “Are you feeling okay?”

Donghyuck gulps, shaking his head. “No.”

“Let’s get some fresh air, yeah?”

Before Donghyuck can even answer, Mark is leading him through the glass patio door by the dinner table.

Neither of them speak until they’re both sitting cross legged by the swimming pool.

“Talk to me,” Mark says, poking Donghyuck’s knee. “What’s up?”

It’s a simple question, but as hard as he tries, Donghyuck can’t bring himself to answer it.

Not when his mind is running faster than even the speed of light.

It’s dramatic, but that’s the way Donghyuck feels right about now. Any longer and his brain might short circuit from the sheer amount of thoughts that continue to flash in his mind.

But he has to hurry, because through the corner of his vision, he can see Jaehyun trying to dodge Jaemin as he scurries through the house in search of Donghyuck.

He probably doesn’t realize that Donghyuck is outside, sitting side by side with Mark Lee.

He definitely has no idea that Donghyuck is scared out of his mind— more than he's ever been before.

And of what exactly?

It could be that Donghyuck has never felt so close but so far away from someone and that it’s all because of his stupid crush. A stupid, unrequited crush that should have never even happened in the first place.

But Donghyuck can’t let his fears and insecurities control his life anymore.

So he may as well say it, right?

“Right….” Mark says, his voice breaking slightly.

It’s in that very moment that Donghyuck realizes that he’d said every one of those words _out loud_.

It doesn’t take too long for the feeling of guilt to settle in, because now, Mark is looking at him like he could cry.

“I’m so sorry,” Donghyuck says quickly.

“Why are you apologizing?” Mark frowns, reaching for Donghyuck. “Please, don’t apologize.”

“But… I shouldn’t have,” Donghyuck continues, backing away. He stands, brushing off his shorts in the process. “I’m gonna go. Jaehyun’s looking for me.”

“ _Wait, no._ ”

Donghyuck looks down to find that Mark’s hand is wrapped around his wrist, stopping him.

“Why?” he asks, swallowing thickly.

“Because you have to let me say it back,” Mark says, gently tugging on Donghyuck’s arm. Confused, the latter nearly stumbles as he walks closer to Mark. Mark chuckles, saying: “It’s only fair.”

Donghyuck blinks. “ _What?_ ”

“I like you,” Mark reveals, smiling bigger and brighter than than anything Donghyuck has ever seen in his life. The butterflies in his tummy are back and they're batting their tiny wings at speeds unimaginable. “A lot.”

“Holy fuck,” Donghyuck curses, his breath hitching.

“That was anticlimactic,” Mark grimaces, looking away. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Donghyuck simpers, shaking his head, to which Mark laughs in response.

Now, they’re both laughing at how _ridiculous_ this entire situation is.

“I should have said something before,” Donghyuck says, once their laughter has subsided.

Mark shakes his head. “You had other things to worry about.”

“But you’re leaving,” Donghyuck reminds him sadly.

“Alright, Cinderella,” Jaehyun says, walking out the patio door with Jaemin in a headlock. Donghyuck winces. “It’s time to go.”

“And now, so are you….” Mark declares, looking towards Jaehyun.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck curses.

“ _Come on_ ,” Jaehyun whines. “Bora’s gonna fight me if I don’t get you home in, like, ten.”

Torn, Donghyuck looks between Mark, Jaehyun, and— by default— Jaemin.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Donghyuck curses _again_. He turns to Jaehyun. “I’m coming!”

“Good,” Jaehyun whoops.

“I’ll text you,” Donghyuck quickly says to Mark before jogging over to Jaehyun.

As careful as he is to not to slip against the dewey stones that border the pool, Donghyuck doesn’t make it to the door.

“ _Donghyuck James Lee will you go out with me!_ ”

Donghyuck stops dead in his tracks, Mark’s voice echoing in the night.

Coincidentally, someone inside the party had stopped the music the very second Mark opened his mouth to speak.

Donghyuck can see a good majority of the party's guests intently glancing at the pair through the dining room’s windows.

“ _What_ ,” Jaehyun sings in falsetto.

“Don’t leave the guy hanging,” Jaemin wheezes, prying Jaehyun's hands away from his head.

“Yes,” Donghyuck laughs, nodding vigorously as he turns to Mark. “I _will_ go out with you.”

The crowd erupts in cheers.

“Tomorrow,” Mark says, his voice amplified by his cupped hands. “I’ll pick you up at five!”

“Okay,” Donghyuck replies, his cheeks hurting from the intensity of his smile.

“ _Kiss!_ ” Jaemin calls, inciting a series of muffled chants from the crowd.

Donghyuck turns to Mark, who shrugs.

_What do we have to lose?_

So Donghyuck runs over to Mark, gaining momentum as he goes until he stumbles and trips the rest of the way. And although Mark catches him before he can hit the ground, the impact alone is enough to send the two of them flying into the pool.

They resurface at the same time, shivering as they cling onto one another.

“What the fuck just happened?” Donghyuck coughs, blinking away the chlorinated water in his eyes.

“Doesn’t matter,” Mark refutes, shaking his sopping wet head as he leans in.

They kiss.


	12. Closing Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

_JUNE 2018_

 

 

Donghyuck loosens his tie.

The long awaited wedding reception is in full swing and it’s hot inside the venue, even from where he stands beneath an air conditioning vent.

Donghyuck takes a sip of his drink to cool himself off as he watches guests of all kind shuffle across the dance floor to the rhythm of the song blasting from the speakers.

“Hyuck.”

It’s Jungwoo, Donghyuck finds, upon turning around to face him.

“Hey,” Donghyuck says, nodding curtly.

Much like the Donghyuck's relationship with Chenle, things between he and Jungwoo have improved to say the least. They aren’t the best of friends, but they are nowhere near being the toxic mess they were this time last year.

“So…" Jungwoo starts, looking around the venue. "What’d you think?”

“Huh?” Donghyuck frowns, confused.

“How was it?”

Donghyuck pauses, his drink halfway to his lips.

_How was the wedding?_

Donghyuck glances over at the table set up for the wedding party.

It’s where his mother is sitting with her head resting against Robert’s shoulder.

Donghyuck can’t help but wonders what she’s thinking right now.

_How did it feel to wake up this morning, knowing that all your hard work has payed off? How did it feel when you finally put on your dress later that afternoon? How did it feel when I walked you down the aisle a few minutes later? Were your hands shaking as much as mine? How did it feel to read your vows in front of all your loved ones?_

_How does it feel to have finally married the man of your dreams?_

If the peaceful set of her eyes as Robert whispers sweet nothings into her ear is anything to go by, she must be on top of the world, Donghyuck notes, smiling to himself.

Donghyuck then looks out to the dance floor.

The bass heavy, uptempo song from earlier has been replaced by much slower one. Donghyuck can easily point out Jeno and Jaemin as one of the slow dancing couples in the crowd. He watches the two of them sway side to side, completely enamoured with one another.

He wonders how _they_ feel, to have let go of all their differences; and to have found both love and harmony in the process.

The way Jeno, like second nature, pulls Jaemin closer is answer enough for Donghyuck.

It’s Renjun’s voice pulls Donghyuck’s attention away from the dance floor.

Renjun is tipsy, standing by the refreshments while having an intense conversation with Donghyuck’s cousin Seulgi and her fiancée Wendy. Chanhee is positioned next to him, his grip on Renjun’s arm unwavering.

“I hate to break it to you like this, but I have a boyfriend,” Renjun says, looking up at Donghyuck’s cousin Seulgi. “I’m a taken man.”

Donghyuck laughs quietly, shaking his head.

He wonders how Renjun feels to have finally come to terms with something he struggled with for the most part of high school. Donghyuck wonders how he feels to finally be with Chanhee, who despite how obviously embarrassed he is, _never_ lets go of Renjun’s arm.

“No hard feelings?” Renjun continues, his eyes pleading.

Seulgi turns to Wendy and laughs. “None at all.”

 _Love really is in the air_ , Donghyuck thinks, looking around the reception venue.

Donghyuck sees it in Jaehyun, who is currently gazing at his boyfriend of a few months, Sicheng, with stars in in his eyes as the latter curiously examines their table’s centrepiece.

Donghyuck sees it in his father and Danny, who are gently swaying to the music as they sit side by side.

Donghyuck even sees it in Chenle, who keeps stealing glances at Jisung Park from where he sits next to his own father.

He even gets the feeling that Jisung wouldn’t mind it at all if Chenle were to ask him to dance.

Donghyuck sighs.

They remind him a little bit of the early stages of his relationship with Mark.

Mark who Donghyuck hasn’t seen physically since New Years, when he visited his hometown for two weeks; and before that, their first and last date.

Mark, the missing piece to what would have been a _perfect_ night.

However, as upsetting as this fact may be, it isn’t exactly as devastating as it would have been a year ago.

So, truthfully, Donghyuck think he’s going to be okay.

“Better than I thought it would be, honestly,” Donghyuck finally says, looking up at Jungwoo.

“My thoughts exactly,” Jungwoo laughs before taking a swig of his own drink.

They fall into a comfortable silence afterward, until Lucas walks up to Jungwoo, saying: “Wanna dance, or something?”

“Sure,” Jungwoo shrugs, setting his empty glass down. He turns to Donghyuck. “And, Hyuck?”

“Yeah?”

“Things will turn up sooner than you think,” Jungwoo says knowingly before following Lucas to the dance floor.

Donghyuck frowns, trying to make sense of Jungwoo’s _cryptic_ words.

“You know, I think he’s right,” a voice says into Donghyuck’s ear, startling him.

“What the fuck?” Donghyuck curses, turning around. He freezes. “ _Mark?_ ”

“Surprise,” Mark sings, wiggling his fingers in a ridiculous set of jazz hands. “Did you miss me?”

Donghyuck lets out a shaky breath that sounds more like a sob than anything.

“Woah, woah, babe don’t cry,” Mark coos, cupping Donghyuck’s face with both his hands in a soothing gesture.

But Donghyuck can’t stop, because Mark is _in front of him_.

Not through a computer screen.

 _Really_ in front of him.

“Come with me,” Mark says, bringing his hands down to one of Donghyuck’s interlacing their fingers.

Donghyuck follows Mark’s lead, using his free hand to wipe at his tears as they walk out of the reception hall, through the lobby, and finally outside.

The sun is setting, casting the area in a soft orange glow.

“I thought you had training camp,” Donghyuck sniffles, his grip on Mark’s hand tightening.

“Your mom made all of that up,” Mark laughs, catching one of Donghyuck’s tears with his thumb. He wipes it away with ease, his finger gently sweeping across the expanse of Donghyuck’s cheek. “Consider it your belated birthday present.”

“I missed you so much,” Donghyuck says, tugging Mark closer until they’re both hugging beneath the hall’s awning.

“I missed you too,” Mark chuckles, running his fingers through Donghyuck’s hair (it’s black now, since he had to dye it to a _conventional_ colour in time for the wedding). “And _God_ , you look so good. I saw you walking your mom down the aisle. It was beautiful. I kinda cried.”

“Wait,” Donghyuck says, pulling away slightly. “You were here this whole time?”

Mark grins. “Yup.”

“I hate you,” Donghyuck pouts, his face heating up as he buries it into Mark’s shoulder.

“You love me,” Mark drawls, playfully rocking Donghyuck side to side.

“You wish,” Donghyuck murmurs.

Mark laughs, only to be interrupted by Renjun’s booming voice as he runs through the building’s revolving doors.

“Guys,” he calls, panting with his hands on his knees just as Chanhee walks out of the building. Startled, Donghyuck untangles himself from Mark’s grasp. “They’re cutting the cake!”

“Sorry about him,” Chanhee laughs, awkwardly grabbing Renjun by the arm. “Carry on.”

Renjun waves in their direction one last time as Chanhee hauls him back into the venue.

Mark turns to Donghyuck. “Are they…?”

“Yes,” Donghyuck reveals. “Finally. You missed out on a lot.”

Mark snorts, playfully rolling his eyes. “Want to give me a rundown over some wedding cake?”

“Of course.”

“Then let’s go,” Mark says, taking Donghyuck’s hand into his own.

Donghyuck stops. “Wait.”

“Hmm?” Mark hums, evidently confused.

“I really do love you, you know?”

“I know,” Mark smiles, his cheeks flushed the lightest shade of pink. “I love you too.”

They walk back into the building hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap!
> 
> I'd like to start by thanking everyone who has ever supported me while writing this piece. Whether it was with your kind words of encouragement, or by simply letting me scream at you about how stressed out I was while writing it, know that it is appreciated.
> 
> With that, I'd like to give a special thanks to Jas— my fuckin hero— for going above and beyond and acting as my beta. I can't stress this enough, but your support has meant a lot to me throughout this project. Without you, I probably would have dropped this prompt when I had the chance. So thank you!
> 
> I'd also like to thank my prompter for giving me the opportunity to write this! Who would have thought that a simple sentence could turn into fourty thousand words of word vomit! Jokes aside, I truly hope that this piece made you proud.
> 
> Lastly, I'd like to thank those of you who made it to the epilogue! As I said in the first chapter's notes, this isn't an easy story to read, so I thank you for taking the time out of your lives to entertain my bullshit.
> 
> You all have my heart.


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